


His Weyr

by AidenAurelio



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2021-04-07
Packaged: 2021-04-18 23:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 58,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidenAurelio/pseuds/AidenAurelio
Summary: A continuation of the Fox Weyr story, in which Neil comes to terms with where he can call home, and who his family is, even as menaces line the horizon and tempt him to turn and run the other way.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 22
Kudos: 63





	1. You can say no

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Find part one here 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605118/chapters/48923033
> 
> Thanks for all your support, and I'm so so so sorry it's taken me so long to get this out to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil returns to the weyr with the monsters and feels the tensions mount. Everything feels like it's boiling over, but he's not the only one with problems.

By the time Neil and the others returned to the weyr, the brilliant orange and white streamers and ribbons had been replaced by black and an orange that no longer seemed to glow so brilliantly… or so Neil thought. It could have also just been a trick of the light now that heavy clouds hung in the sky. They weren’t the ominous silver and black hues of Threadfall, but were heavy and grey, promising a sudden torrential downpour at any moment that only the islands could have ever gotten used to. Neil supposed the black was supposed to give the weyr and Harper Campus beyond the impression of mourning, but it just seemed like a cheap tribute. 

Then again, maybe that was just cynicism born of a lifetime of seeing death at every turn. After all, Neil had seen more people die than he could comfortably cound, even if he could remember every one.

Death was unpleasant, but it was familiar, and had grown into a tolerable ache in his chest. Even if the passing of a dragon and his rider from the same weyr and wing was sudden, it meant nothing more than a verification of a danger Neil already knew to be very real and abounding. Neil felt nothing more than a resigned acceptance. Staying alive was hard enough, and now that he had Tenith, he didn’t have the time to linger over someone else’s misfortunes. Not even after what Andrew had told him that night. Especially not after what Andrew had told him that night, and the truth that he had accepted. 

The funeral was likewise unnecessarily long and drawn out, but Neil paid his respects with the rest of the wing. None of the other Weyrmates came, which Neil found interesting, but not shocking. Seth had friends, but he was a volatile personality and the other dragons and their riders had already paid tribute through their dragon sing and keening… and Neil supposed through the banners which would fly for another sevenday. The shock came when not even his mother came or sent word. Then again, neither would Neil's. 

The whole team lead the procession and Neil felt only a little awkward that he was asked to be a pallbearer but he had tried not to think too hard about it that day as they crested the hill and stood at the base of the huge stone building. It wasn’t tall, but it was wide, and covered the entire top of one of the hills Neil had seen on a fly-over with Yardith. Neil hadn’t seen a Dragonrider Mausoleum up close before and on his fly-over he had assumed it was just some large official building, but this one was very well made, and he could tell the roof was doubly thick as any other stone housing structure that wasn’t built directly into the earth itself. To think that Palmetto hadn’t really been inhabited for that long made him wonder when the weyrleader had it built- and if he had had it made so large and beautifully crafted because he knew Thread was falling, or because he knew that his riders would fall so easily. It was usually an honor for a rider to go Between on his dragon in death, but with this rag-tag weyr...

By the time the ceremony was over, Neil was sure Allison was sick and tired of hearing the dragon rider's traditional 'I grieve for your loss'. He had still said it to her as well, and found it a bit hard to meet her reddened and tear rimmed eyes as he did so. 

Over the next week, Neil mostly tried to avoid everyone, and stick to taking care of Tennith. It didn't much help, since Kevin was determined to practice the very next day. When a fight immediately broke out because of high tensions and Andrews too cheerful drug addled mind and lack of decorum or respect for his fallen teammate, Wymack had cancelled the rest of the practices that week, even if regular Harper classes didn't pause at all. Kevin didn't seem to care, though, and insisted HIS weyrmates keep training. Neil felt almost as awkward about being labeled Kevin's as he felt about being labeled Andrew's. 

Only…

Andrew had come for him each night, just the same as every other night for their late practices. 

Only…

Neil couldn't be too sure but he thought when Andrew came for him at night, he lingered just a bit more. He thought maybe Andrew spent a little more time than necessary with Tenith. Maybe Neil only paid attention because his dragon pointed it out. Maybe Neil only noticed Andrew because Yardith wouldn't stop staring at him with that damn mocking dragon grin of his! Maybe… 

Only…

Each night after practice, Andrew drew Neil into more trust exercises, having Yardith play and spiral and do as he pleased until Neil called it quits and headed to shower. He never said anything about why or made a point of what Neil was supposed to be doing, he just told Neil to stay.

And Neil stayed. 

When regular practices did finally resume, Neil was thankful for the distraction from the too intimate and too awkward moments shared with only Andrew and their dragons, at least initially. They were a week away from the next big game and they had the bare minimum riders. Neil knew he couldn't fly, but he was counted on the team. They COULD hold another tryout but then they would have to go through the whole Weyr and as much as Kevin had high hopes, it was very unlikely that they would have enough time to incorporate a whole new member and be ready to play, much less ride when Thread started to fall. Not to mention, the people who would likely meet standards would be wingleaders themselves, and they couldn't be spared from training with their own wings. 

Kevin and the Weyrleader spent long moments whispering with Dan, and Neil knew it had to be about him, because he or Tenith would suddenly be called over and either asked something or asked to DO something. They would answer, or perform, and then be shooed away again, back to practice. Only later would Neil see a few of the other youngsters from hsi clutch be called over as well- the queen, and some bronzes, then later some of the smallest hatchlings. He knew they were up to something- testing something- but he couldn’t prove it, no matter how many times he saw Wymack and Abby talking over an old scroll with Dan and citing dates and old harper tales about hatchings and young dragons, and Kevin told him not to worry about it.

And so, Neil was kept on reserve, and they were going to manage somehow with him on the ground, helping them ride by basically playing second queen. 

The very next Wednesday, he walked with the others to the Weyr bowl, and when neither Nicky nor Andrew came up to join them, he remembered that Andrew had his sessions with the HarperHealer Bee those days. Well, that was one good thing. Maybe they COULD get through the initial awkwardness before the crazy twin and jovial cousin came back. He glanced around at Kevin and Aaron for a moment, curious why they wouldn't go on in to the lounge area until he noticed that they were both turned away and looking at the black banners that fluttered almost ominously in the wind. They were grieving, Neil explained to Tenith when she asked why no one was coming to play with her just yet, then moved inside and prompting them to hurry after him.

They filed past the glass walls, then back in and down the hall to the locker room. That door was unlocked, and the glows were turned inside, but the lounge was empty. Neil, curious, went to investigate while Aaron and Kevin got settled and Tenith happily darted around the weyr bowl with Ardanth and K'holinth's attention on her. 

A hallway connected the lounge to the foyer, and the door on the foyer's back wall, which led into the Weyr bowl itself, was still locked. Neil backtracked to the hall where the changing rooms and offices were. Wymack's office door was closed, but if Neil listened for a minute he heard Wymack's muffled voice through the wood. Satisfied no one was here who shouldn't be, Neil went back to the others. 

Aaron and Kevin were rearranging the furniture when Neil walked in and he watched as they pushed the chairs and couches into a V-shape, then asked, "What are you doing?" 

"Finding a new way to make us fit," Aaron said, "unless you want to stare an empty chair in the face all season." 

"It's the same number of cushions," Neil said. 

"Four people barely fit on a couch. Five is out of the question." 

"Five?" 

Kevin looked at him like he was stupid. Neil was painfully familiar with that look by now, but even after almost half a cycle of working with Kevin he still didn't appreciate it. "You do know your place, don't you?" Kevin asked. 

Until that Saturday night, Neil had never been stupid enough to think he had a place. Andrew promised he could change that, but his protection had a price tag- one that was becoming more and more real the longer he spent here. Andrew would protect Neil from his past if Neil helped him keep Kevin at Palmetto and gave up that control. Kevin thought Neil was his because Neil said he would fly for the bronze, but Andrew had made it clear that Kevin belonged to him, just like the whole mountain belonged to him. Anything or anyone under the crazy blond's sphere of influence was claimed and Neil had been promised a place under his wing or on his mountain. It didn't seem to matter to Andrew which, just how close he got to hold Neil in the end. After spending those hours alone with Andrew were tense, but they were building to something Neil didn’t want to think about. He hadn’t said anything to Andrew, but they both knew something had changed between them that night.

Neil tried not to think about the surprisingly strong arms that would end up doing the holding- the tight grip Andrew always gave his hair when he made Neil come close- the way Andrews fingers loosened from his hair and gently ran over his shoulders and back when they finally broke apart. He closed his eyes and focussed on the task at hand, reminding himself that Tenith was listening.

It sounded easy enough, but Nicky and Dan had both had warned him in their own ways that there was more to it. Neil wasn't just supposed to be training to fly with their team. He was supposed to also be some sort of second queen mind reader or tactician or something with his new dragon abilities. He needed to help the whole wing work better together from the inside of Andrew's dysfunctional group. He couldn't hide on the fringes anymore. 

Neil looked at the new arrangement in the lounge again and understood. Before Impression and the first game, Andrew's four had all squished onto one couch. Now they could spread out, three on the couch and two to the chairs on either side. The remaining upperclassmen got the couch and chair opposite them. Neil started for the chair on the end, since he'd always had the outside seat, but Aaron sank into it first. Neil hesitated a second too long, and Aaron finally spelled it out for him. 

"You're on the couch with Kevin and Andrew. Sit down." 

"I don't like being boxed in," Neil said, "and I don't want to sit next to your brother." 

"Nicky put up with it for a year," Aaron said after a pause where he looked far too much like his twin, calculating Neil’s responses and formulating an answer that would make him see the point that should have been clear from the first place. "You can deal with it." 

"You're his family," Neil said, not like it meant a thing to them. Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes. At the Foxhole Weyr, "family" was a fantasy invented to make scrolls and Harper songs more interesting. Neil knew it was a lost cause even as he said it, so he took the seat Aaron had assigned him. Kevin sat after Neil did, leaving space between them for Andrew. 

Neil looked around the room again instead of thinking about how close Andrew would be to him and wondered how the senior weyrmates would adjust to the new layout. His stare fell on the oversized schedule hanging above the Harper stage and his stomach knotted as he read down the list. The end of the second sevenday of the fifth month was the day the last-ranked Foxes went up against the first-ranked Edgar Allan Weyr Ravens. 

It was bound to be a disaster, and Neil had only made it worse by challenging Kevin at an official Harper council questioning. 

Wymack's door opened down the hall, but a half-second later the the chittering of a fire-lizard could be heard, even as Tenith exclaimed happily that Wy'Rhaun had joined them in the bowl. Wymack didn't bother to close his door again before answering. From what Neil could hear, someone was harassing Wymack about the team's tiny line-up. Wymack's obvious irritation made his reassurances less than convincing, but Neil knew he believed every word he was saying and that would be conveyed in his fire-lizards messages. 

Wymack didn't care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He'd stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end, Thread or no.

Wymack was still going at it when the lounge door opened. Queen rider Danielle Wilds was the first into the room, but her boyfriend and bronze rider Matt Boyd and best friend and blue rider Renee Walker were right behind her. They only made it a couple steps into the room before grinding to a halt. 

Dan pointed at Neil but stared at Kevin. "What is that about?" 

Aaron answered, "You knew what it meant when we took him Saturday night." 

Wymack sent his fire-lizard away one last time and Neil wondered if the argument really was over or if he'd used the arrival of more Foxes as an excuse to get out of the conversation. The weyrleader strode into the lounge a couple seconds later and followed Dan's finger to Neil. He looked from Neil to Kevin to Aaron, then around the room at the new layout, then back at Neil. "Last I checked Andrew didn't like you," Wymack said. 

"He still doesn't," Neil said, but he didn't bother to explain. 

"Interesting." Wymack eyed Neil a moment longer before turning on the upperclassmen. "Sit down, would you? We need to talk." 

Wymack leaned against the entertainment center and waited for them to get settled. He folded his arms across his chest and studied each of his first wing in turn. "Abby wrote me a speech to give you this afternoon. It sounded nice, had lots of stuff about courage and loss and coming together in everyone's time of need. I stripped the ink from the hide and tossed it in the reuse pile beside my desk. 

"I'm not here to offer you kind words and pats on the back. I'm not here to be a shoulder to cry on. Take that up with Abby or go down to Reddin and talk to Bee. My job is to be your Weyrleader no matter what, to keep you moving and get you back in the sky whether you're ready to be there or not. That probably makes me the bad guy here, but we all have to live with it. Thread is coming and we are not just athletes. If you can't deal with this now, you'll perish when Thread finally comes." Wymack looked at the empty chairs across from him. 

Palmetto Weyr's Exy wing was on its fifth year now. Wymack built the Foxes from the ground up and handpicked Seth for his first starting line. Between the players' personal problems, a faulty original contract that let riders walk away as soon as their dragon could go Between, and the option to graduate after completing the Harper class requirements in four years instead of five, Seth was the only one who'd made it to a fifth year with the wing. The brown rider had been a lot of things, most of them unpleasant, but he'd definitely been a fighter, and his Dono was always ready to take up arms right by his side. 

Now he was gone. 

Weyrleader Wymack cleared his throat and scratched a hand through his short hair. "Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell you life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. All of you are. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got. That's why the very first settlers even came to Pern. You know as well as I do that petty shit like war and famine were what drove them here, and what gave them the will to fight. What gave them the tenacity to win against Thread- to create the dragons to fight and win against Thread. 

"Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform, and make damn sure we’re ready to fight Thread when it finally rains down on our island. Let's show the world what we've got. Let's make this our year." 

"We've lost enough, don't you think?" Dan asked her wingmates, a queen challenging her warriors. "It's time to win." 

Matt laced his fingers through hers and squeezed. "Let's take it all the way to finals." 

"Words don't mean anything to me," Wymack said. "Prove to me in my sky you have what it takes to make it to championships. I want you in the sky in flight gear in five minutes or I'll sign you all up for a marathon around the whole island." Wymack's odd idea of pep talk was missing its usual feigned anger, but his words were familiar enough to get the team moving. 

The men's locker room was silent as they dressed. Neil carried his things into one of the bathroom stalls to change. That was as much privacy as he was going to have. A vanity separated the toilets from the communal shower, and Neil stopped there on his way back to consider his reflection. 

Neil had a love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity. He was the spitting image of the murderous father he'd run away from eight years ago. Hair dye and a local herb called Sightroot were the easiest way to hide his face, but keeping up with it when he lived with the Foxes was exhausting. He checked his roots twice a day every day and slept with the dark crushed root pulp painted over his eyes like eyeliner so that the effects would stay. It not only made his eyesight better, but it also stained his normally pale irises a dull, muddy brown. 

It was tricky now that he was using the special soap the Weyr healer, Abby made each time he bathed, but as long as he used a lighter hair soap and reapplied the sightroot immediately after his baths, his roots didn’t fade too easily and his eyes didn’t immediately change back to their original color. It helped keep him alive and safe. 

It had. 

But Neil didn't think it was going to be enough anymore. He didn't realize how long he'd stalled until Matt and Kevin came looking for him. He saw their reflections as they stepped into the doorway behind him but didn't turn around. "All the way to finals?" Neil asked. 

"Miracles happen," Matt said. 

"Don't rely on something as insubstantial as a miracle," Kevin said. "You won't win anything by standing around. Finish getting changed and get down to the bowl." 

"One day I want you to look up 'insensitivity' in the archives," Matt said, annoyed as he buckled the last of his riding straps around his thigh and stood straight. "I'm sure it'll do your ego wonders to see your picture classically rendered there beside it." 

"No," Neil said before Kevin could respond. "He's right. The chance of Weyrleader Wymack finding us another green striker when the year's already started is slim. Finding one that can actually incorporate into the wing and fly well with you all during the first Fall is even slimmer, and it’s too dangerous to try to force someone in. One wrong move and we could lose even more people- not to mention put the queen in danger. Until he figures something out, Kevin is the only striker, and the midfielders are going to have to push up and cover a broader section while Dan and I try to coordinate, and I’m not even sure if I’m strong enough to do it. My green can’t even fly yet.”

“Hey, don’t sell Tenith short,” Matt protested. 

“I’m not selling her short, I’m just stating the facts. We all know that some dragons can fly sooner than others- that it’s possible for them to go Between faster than we usually send them, especially in times of Threadfall, but it won’t do Tenith any good to rush up into the sky if she’s just going to hurt her muscles and stunt her growth. Not to mention, if I’m the one that has to lead her…” Neil looked away from his own reflection.

“You should talk to Andrew.” Kevin said after a moment, reaching over to tap on the glass and draw his attention. “Until then, practice, and get better if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re not going Tenith any favors staring at your own reflection.”

Neil pushed away from the mirrors and finished getting ready. Dan and Renee were waiting for the men in the foyer, and they went into the stadium for warm-ups. After forty minutes of laps and interval runs they trekked back around the stone wall to the fountain for water. They were stretching out as a group in a large ring of their dragons, who also stretched their wings and warmed up when the glass door opened. Neil glanced at the upperclassmen to judge their reactions as Nicky and Andrew joined them in the foyer. 

Dan went back to her stretches after a split-second glance in their direction, and Matt's expression tightened when he spotted Andrew's smiling face. Only Renee managed a smile, and her voice was friendly, if quiet, when she said hello. "Hi Renee," Andrew returned. "Are you moving back into the girl’s weyr yet?" 

"Tonight," Renee said. "We packed Matt's truck this morning." 

Andrew accepted that without argument and vanished into the locker room to change. Nicky hung back a minute, looking a little uncertain as he faced his teammates for the first time in days. Dan looked at him again, but her stony face was not encouraging. "Hey," Nicky said, subdued. "Holding up?" 

"Somehow or other," Dan said. She didn't ask how Nicky was. Chances were she didn't want to know. 

Nicky said nothing for a bit, then, "How is Allison?" 

"Do you care?" Matt asked. 

"Matt," Renee said in quiet rebuke. To Nicky, she said, "She's having a hard time right now, as expected, but we make sure she's never alone. She still won't speak to Bee, but I think she'll open up soon." 

"Yeah," Nicky agreed, barely a whisper as Hemmi spiraled down into the bowl to join the other dragons. 

Wymack waited until he was sure she was settled and the riders were done and then gestured at Nicky. "You two get down to the court and start doing laps. I don't pay for glows and drudges in this place so you can stand around and gossip. The rest of you finish up here and get some water. As soon as Andrew and Nicky are ready we're suiting up for sky drills. We've got—" Wymack stopped at the sight of his bronze fire-lizard flickering in from Between and fluttering about his head to draw his attention. "These leeches are going to drive me insane. I should have invested in a secretary." 

Nicky went into the changing room while Wymack went in search of more privacy to hold his conversation. Neil was standing at the back of the foyer, closest to the hall, so he heard when Wymack answered. Despite Wymack's obvious annoyance, he managed a civil tone as he conversation and responded through the fire-lizard. Neil was trying not to look like he was eavesdropping too much, but he immediately knew something was wrong. The Weyrleader rumbled for a moment, sounding much too much like a concerned Wy’Rhaun, then called for Andrew. 

The blond meandered in from the changing room, and their voiced got too low for a moment. Neil thought that maybe it was over, but then both Yardith and Ardanth growled and rumbled in irritation. Yardith crouched low and darted forward, looking like he was on a mission, the tell tale singe of firestone already brimming past his lips as he aimed for the glass wall. Seconds later, Andrew’s voice raised up. Before Neil could hear what he was saying, though, Dan was already racing past him, and Lynth had placed herself between Yardith and the wall, using Ardanth’s bulk to help keep him back. Neil and the others had to scramble around beneath their feet to keep from being trampled as Yardith raged, but when Neil glanced over to Aaron, he seemed just as shocked and confused as the rest of them. 

“Let me go, or I swear by the first egg, I’ll kill you, too,” Andrew growled loud enough for Neil to hear then. Dan said something- then Wymack. “Then call me sick, and I’ll call out for the day.” Andrew said, just as Yardith rumbled angrily from outside. 

“You know as well as I do that if you go out and try to find him now, you’ll be the first suspect as soon as anything happens to that man.” Dan’s voice was loud enough for Neil to hear this time, and he frowned in confusion as he pressed his back against the glass wall with the others, trying to stay out of the dragon’s way.

“And then what? What could they possibly to to me, Dan? Hm? Lock me up? Take away my ability to fly? Take my dragon?” Andrew’s voice sounded strained- taught and ready to break. “Kill me?”

Neil shivered as Ardanth growled back at Yardith and shoved him hard until the smaller dragon had no choice but to take a couple of steps back. “Andrew, all I’m asking you to do is got to Bee first. Go to Bee, and take a minute to think about this. You don’t even know where he is.” Wymack was saying. “Let the Harper Enforcers do their jobs. With the testimony--” 

“What more testimony could you NEED?” Andrew hissed, and their voices were lost again. It took a while longer for the dragons to finally calm down, with muffled, angry, sorrowful, and stressed currents all reaching Neil, but only snatches of words here and there. When Andrew finally came out, it was with Dan and Wymack hot on his heels, but the blond was tucking a blade back into his sleeve and looked like he was on a set mission. He didn’t even glance over at Neil as he made his way over to Yardith. Ardanth almost didn’t let him past, but by the time the diminutive man finally raised his chin nigh enough to look him in the eye, Yardith was properly chastened. He moved aside, and Andrew vaulted onto his dragon’s back. 

Neil noticed he didn’t have on his proper riding straps and Yardith wasn’t properly saddled, but neither of them seemed to care as the huge dragon crouched back on his hind legs and let out a roar and pure rage. Before his wings even finished their downward stroke, they were Between and had plummeted the bowl into an eerie silence. 

“What the hell just happened?” Nicky asked, frowning as he turned to the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman.

“It’s…” Dan looked over to Wymack, and looked worried- far too worried for Neil to be comfortable. 

“It seems like something has upset Andrew. Instead of prying and forcing someone else to tell us, maybe we should wait for him to come forward, whenever he’s ready. Clearly it was a stressful thing, and not something he’s willing to share just yet.” Renee stepped up to be the voice of reason. Neil glanced over towards her, and a bit shocked to see that she was looking over at him, just as he started to reach out to listen to Ardanth’s mental voice. But, she couldn’t have known that he was going to start asking him questions, could she? Then again, Neil wasn’t sure if he trusted a single thing about Renee. 

He pointedly looked away and stopped listening in to Ardanth, even as the others started to settle their dragons and Wymack and Renee guided the other remaining monsters back into practice with a few quick commands from Dan. 

Neil couldn’t believe the way the rest of the practice seemed to go on without too much of a hitch. Even Kevin seemed unmoved, and when Allison came back, everyone even greeted her warmly and the dragons all crowded around. She didn’t seem up to practice, but she did sit in her saddle, all strapped in and staring up into the skies. By the time it was all over and Neil was stepping out of his shower, he still felt like he was somehow missing a huge chunk of information and had gone through some sort of wind tunnel without it, leaving him disoriented. 

He tried not to think about it, and forced himself instead to concentrate on the things he could do. Tenith was fed and watered, washed and oiled, and he took her to bed before he spent the rest of his time in the archives room, trying to fill his mind with something other than the angry outburst from Andrew. He was so determined to drown his own thoughts that when he stepped into the archive room and spotted the tables that were already covered with open books and scrolls, he had to pause and really think before he realized it meant someone else must have been using the old room. 

“But we already know the queens can be expected to rise twice a Turn and produce an average of twenty-eight eggs,” a familiar voice reached him. Neil raised his brows at that and turned to see who was talking behind the bookshelves. 

“Yes, but that’s only for fully grown and already mature Queens. I think that for Lynth, who’s still young but maturing nicely, that might be a reasonable expectation within the next year or so. She’s only just on her third year of…” there was a mumbled continuation, then Dan poked her head out from behind another shelf. Neil glanced between her and the tabled now. “Oh- Neil. Good, you’re here. I was just going to ask you something.”

“Me?” he wondered, just as Wymack stepped out. “Neil?”

“Neil, you spend a lot of time in here. You wouldn’t have come across any information about Impressions and hatching while you were in here, would you?” Dan asked, moving over to him and handing him a heavy book. 

“I wasn’t looking specifically…” Neil said honestly, turning and almost immediately opening the tome she had given him. “Why?”

“Well, we… we kind of ran into a problem- specifically with how few dragons we have here, and how many islands there are between here and the mainland.” Dan started. Neil sat down at the nearest table and studied the pages. 

“Are we going to be expected to flame over all the islands? I thought the mainland would support the islands… and most of them are uninhabited…” Neil murmured quietly.

“Maybe so, but the water could be shallow enough to allow Thread to survive. And if Thread can burrow under one small island, what if it burrows far enough to get at the others? If we don’t flame over them, and if there’s vegetation and animals and healthy soil on any…” the Wyrleader was saying. 

“But we don’t have enough dragons?” Neil wondered. No wonder the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman had been worried lately. 

“We don’t, not with our small wing sizes… but if the weyrlings could fly in proper formation…” the Weyrwoman settled down beside Neil and turned to study him carefully. He shifted uncomfortably, and glanced up at her after a moment. “Your Tenith is a large green.”

“Ah… thank you…?” he shifted uncomfortably again.

“She’s almost as large as a brown would be at the same age from another clutch.” 

“Again… thanks?”

“And you take her on your little walks all the time- she’s constantly flapping her wings when she’s on the hilltops or the wind blows.” 

“I really appreciate the praise but--”

“The fact of the matter is that your green is almost as big as a brown from another clutch, but the browns from her own clutch are large, too. In fact, all of Lynth’s clutches have been really large. Healthy. Maturing faster than any others. Lynth herself was a little large, and Wy’Rhaun was a little larger than normal, but I’m not sure that would account for the changes. If anything, it would make them just a little larger, but Tenith is fast, too. Faster than any other green. We’ve been pleasantly surprised all around- for the last couple of years.” Abby stepped out from behind the same bookcase and Neil frowned, wondering how many other people were here. The room was only so large!

“I wasn’t looking for anything specifically, but I do remember seeing that most dragons now are almost double the size of the original dragons… and they get larger come Threadfall, don’t they?” Neil wondered after a moment.

“Yes!” Dan clapped her hands together and smiled. “That’s what we’ve been thinking. So then, we were wondering if there was a reason why- is it to allow them to flame more? To fly harder? Longer? Sooner?” she grinned at him.

“Sooner? Like, mature faster so they can get up in the skies faster?” Neil wondered curiously, gears turning now.

“Exactly.” the Weyrleader leaned over with another book for him and set it open in front of him, on top of his first book. “Look at that. A record of one young queen starting to glide when she was just six months out of the shell. With the way Tenith is going, she could probably glide from one of the higher weyrs by that time…” 

“Glide?” Neil’s pulse raced, and he reached out to listen to Tenith, only to find her already dozing lightly. Best let her sleep. “I see some of the weyrlings falling into flight from their ledges, but I always thought that was too dangerous. If her wings can’t catch her…” Dragons were strong and sturdy, but at her age, Tenith’s wings were still transparent! If she fell and stumbled them- ripped them?!

“That’s why we’re double checking and making sure that we can actually do it. Kevin says we for sure can, because at the Ravens nest they do it all the time. From the time of six months on up, they train every day for six months exactly to get ready to fly. And by the time they're done, they're ready to fly with a wing. When you consider they're probably around nine or ten at the youngest when they go through Impression… usually we wait for three years. Till the queen in that clutch is around ready to rise- we teach them all yo fly as a precaution. Make sure the queen is strong and can fly for the longest…" Dan pressed her lips together and finally looked away from Neil. "If we can start training the other clutches already, and keep them training till Threadfall, we'll have just enough to cover the islands."

"What's the alternative?" Neil wondered hesitantly. 

"If any man can't prove his hold, he forfeits his right. For dragons, if we can't hold our skies, we give them up, too. For the good of Pern, we allow a bigger, stronger Weyr to come in and help us." Wymack said, though his tone was bitter. 

"No." All Neil could hear was Andrew, proudly claiming the whole of Palmetto as his. The wind through the trees at the top of Fox Rocks. The happy chattering and tipping of the fox cubs below. 

"Telgar has already said they would happily step in and help us, even after the season is over. Riko himself would ensure that we are ready to fight Thread as good as any Raven." Wymack frowned deeply. 

"Neil, we CAN'T let them come here and take over. Not by losing in the games, and not by being short dragons in the sky. I thought it was strange when the mainland suddenly held a hearing and got the Harper's to redraw their boarders. It's just small islands, anyway, maybe big enough for a farm or two- nothin too profitable. But when you realize that they would be unclaimed lands and the closest Weyr would claim responsibility for them… it's too convenient for it to be coincidence. Especially when Testuji was the one who brought up the new land issue at the meeting…" Dan was murmuring by the end, hee gaze down at the book in front of her though she didn't seem to be really reading anything. Clearly, she was worried. Neil didn't know what meeting she was talking about, but assumed it was one that had to do with all the Weyrleaders, if it was suddenly so important, and she, as a Weyrwoman and senior Queen, would have definitely been there. 

To think the ravens would even go so far… 

"So we make sure as many dragons can fly. As soon as possible. And if Tenith can be some kind of starting sample for her clutch to make sure the youngest aren't straining themselves…?" He asked, moving on to something he could change. If the Ravens came for Palmetto, he had to be out by that time. It was one thing to have them in the sky, flying for a game, but something else to have them actually inhabit the island for extra training if they lost. To actually have the ravens come and take over Palmetto if they figured the Foxes couldn't take care of the land they were given? That was incomprehensible. 

Dan perked up a bit. "That's what I'm thinking. We can try a little bit at a time with her, as we try with the older Weyrlings, and have Abby keep a close eye on her. Since the others aren't going to be spending so much time with her, they won't be able to get jealous or follow her example and hurt themselves by trying too soon. We were really worried she was being kept from her clutch too much, but as it stands, she's actually getting around the same treatment as any queen." 

Neil bit the inside of his cheek as soon as he felt the blush start to creep up his cheeks. "Is that a bad thing? She's not actually a queen," he cleared his throat a bit. 

"No, it's not bad. Kevin chose her, and she's maturing just as well, but we were worried she wouldn't be able to make friends and really be a baby dragon, you know? But she's getting all the attention she needs, and all the other dragons adore her. Dote on her. Praise her until she really must think she IS as good as any queen." Dan chuckled a bit more and shook her head as she thought about Tenith. Neil still felt a bit embarrassed, and didn't know what to say to her. "But, it's not bad. Don't worry. It's just that she's separate from her peers, is all. But it's not bad, when you consider that she's going to be getting a slightly advanced training anyways. She already was, really, from hanging around the first wing, but now it's going to be even more. Since she's used to it, she won't know there's anything different." 

"We We're thinking about starting to have her working out just a little bit more with the others- carrying firestone a little at a time. Running with ground crew drills until she's ready. Stretching her wings. If it works well with her- and you have to know we'll nip it in the bud real fast at the first sign it's not going well. And I mean fast, Neil. We want the drsgons strong but were not gonna risk hurting them by moving then so fast- but if it works well with her, then we'll start letting the queen from her clutch do it, too, and then the others." Wymack said, and Neil was almost thankful for her stern interjection. It was familiar. Easy. Not like that sweet praise from Dan. 

"Yes, Weyrleader." 

Wymack gave a grunt of approval, and nodded as he turned his attention back to his book. "Either way, we were looking to see exactly when we could safely start. I think it might be okay now, since the clutches are so much stronger. Bigger… but I won't risk it. Six months is when the usual training should start. They'll be large enough then. Starting to level out growth and bulk up some." The weyrleader was saying, carrying the conversation back to safer grounds. 

“But we definitely want to be careful about it, and make sure the young ones aren’t being hurt.” Dan pointed out ,turning back to her book. Neil also turned to his own book.

“The idea of starting them out with stretching and exercising seems fine, though, right? Tenith runs with me almost every day, and stretches with the bigger dragons whenever she feels like it- and that’s nearly every day. She thinks it’s a game… and she’s always opening her wings and feeling the wind- whipping her tail around. I never thought about telling her to stop, and she still seems fine,” he explained. 

“We noticed,” Dan nodded with a slight grin. “That’s partially why we want to start the bigger ones on YOUR training regime and step up the yearlings. But, we have to do it slowly- and you’ve got to reign Tenith in some. I noticed her playing at flapping her wings a little too much sometimes, too.” Now, Dan looked more serious, and Neil glanced over at her curiously.

“Too much too soon can hurt her?” he worried.

“More than hurt- it could stunt her growth, or make her pull muscles or even grow them wrong or form bad habits. If she starts out too fast or doing too much when she’s not ready, her muscles could pull too much or even make her bone structure warp just from strain. You really should be careful… But we really should make you spend more time with dragons more her age. It’s our fault, partially. You don’t know HOW to let her be a child, and she doesn’t think she IS one. Just that she’s a little green queen,” Dan chuckled lightly. Neil only briefly grinned. He wasn’t sure if he liked the implications of Tenith being a little queen. She was a green- a fighting, flying, flaming green. Not an eggbound, Pernbound, all-responsible Queen. She was needed by her wing and her rider, but all of Pern didn’t look to her to supply the next generation and lead with wisdom and grace. If Neil needed to run, no one would be hurt by her absence. Not really…

Neil tried not to think of Andrew reminding him that he would be inviting his own death if he left the island. 

“I’ll make sure she’s only doing the proper exercises if you’ll help me with that.” He decided it couldn’t hurt to actually ask for advice and help. Even if it was directly from the Weyrleaders. 

“Actually, we were going to ask Kevin to help. He’s been worried about this for a while now and actually wanted to bump up our training stages for our younger dragons. We thought that maybe he was just being over zealous- a Raven…” Dan shook her head now as she flipped a page she hadn’t read. 

“Now, it looks like we really should have been listening to him all the while.” Wymack sighed. 

“Why did he decide to stay here?” Neil felt like a fool as soon as he asked the question, and almost cursed himself as the two weyrleaders gave him curious looks. “Well, seems to me like he was just kind of dropped off by chance, and he just kind of struggled along until Andrew… If even his suggestions weren’t being heeded… is Andrew really that important to him?” 

“Kevin…” Dan twisted her lips to the side as if she was biting the inside of her lip in thought. “Kevin was really like a lost little puppy for the longest time- kicked and shunned without any real place to go- he gave up hope… Andrew… It’s almost like he didn’t even have any hope to start with. But he still didn’t give up anything. He didn’t HAVE anything, but whatever he felt like should be his, he claimed. And he kept it. I guess for someone lost, a maverick like Andrew must be like some sort of oasis. Once Kevin had even the IDEA of flying again…” 

“Andrew promised to eliminate all the threats Kevin thought he had, if Kevin gave him something in return. I didn’t ask what that was, and honestly, I don’t think I wanna know. This whole team is fucked up- but Kevin is the son of an old friend, so I took him in and gave him a place to stay. Believed him when he told me what happened. Helped where I could. As long as Andrew helps him- which he seems to be doing a damn good job of- then I’m not gonna get between them.” Wymack said now. Neil took a moment to think about that, staring down at his own book.

“Why? Did he offer you something, too?” Dan asked.

Neil didn’t answer. 

“We can at least start the older ones doing hill runs next week. That can’t hurt them if Tenith is already doing them.” Wymack said after a moment of silence, purposely drawing Dan’s attention and seeming just the savior that his dragon was all those nights ago with his open wings and understanding eyes. “We’ll have them run up one hill, spread their wings and run down the other. If we keep them at it, they’ll be strong enough to glide in a few weeks.” 

“Then we can start the youngest ones on the hills after.” Dan added in a moment later, accepting the change of topic for what it was.

By the time Neil made it back to his room, his mind was abuzz with new ideas of training and flying Tenith sooner than anticipated. 

He was so deep in thought that he was already a few steps around the corner before he realized Andrew was waiting for him outside of his room door. Neil knew for a fact that Andrew knew how to open the door- and that Tenith would let him stay inside with just a few compliments and maybe a treat. The fact that he was leaning casually against the stone wall as if he belonged made Neil wary… but not immediately hostile. 

“Feeling better?” Neil asked quietly as he got closer, as if anyone was near enough to hear them whispering. Andrew turned to look at him, hazel eyes boring deep into Neil in a familiarly uncomfortable way. 

“I came back, didn’t I?” 

“What for?”

“Maybe I wanted to make sure you didn’t take the chance and leave while you could.”

“Are we playing your game again?”

“No.” Andrew pushed off the wall and took a couple of steps towards Neil. Despite his better judgement, Neil didn’t step back, or move aside. 

Andrew took another step.

Neil stood his ground.

“Interesting,” The blond’s lips quirked up in the first smile Neil had seen since meeting him there.

“What are we doing?” Neil asked, voice much more even than he expected it to be. He mentally checked to make sure Tenith was still asleep and suppressed the sigh of relief that desperately tried to escape when he found that she was and Andrew took one more step towards him, letting the warmth between them build as heavy as the tension.

“Good question.” Andrew purred, eyes tracing Neil’s face. 

“What do you want from me, Andrew?” 

“A straight answer would be nice.” 

“To which question?”

“All of them.”

“It’s a good thing we’re not playing your game, then.” 

“Good for you, maybe.” Now, Andrew smirked, though it never reached his eyes, and he took a step back, turning on his heel and starting down the hall.

Neil tried not to miss the hand in his hair pressing at the back of his neck, or the way Andrew would usually pull just shy of painfully on it, or the way he would usually relax his grip only once Neil submitted to him, or the gentleness that would follow, allowing Andrew to trail that very same hand over Neil's shoulders and back as he walked away. 

He tried, but he was thankful that Andrew had his back to him as an involuntary hand reached up to smooth the hair at the back of his head that hadn't even been mussed. 

“Are we going to practice?” Neil wondered. He knew it wasn’t quite time yet, but maybe Kevin wanted to go over the new flying stuff with him.

"We're going flying before practice." Andrew muttered. 

"Should I wake Tenith?" 

"Let her sleep. I want you."

"Why me?"

"You sure like asking questions but not giving answers. Just let me have you." Andrew snapped. Neil didn't say anything but followed him anyway. After a long moment of silence, the blond paused again, and turned to Neil. "You can say no."

"Why would I? It's just flying," Neil kept his voice as quiet as Andrews. 

"It's flying with me. With Yardith. Neil, you can just say no." Now, Andrew frowned at him, and Neil offered a shrug. 

"I don't wanna say no. Flying with you isn't so bad." He took a step forward as if to prove his point. 

Andrew took a step back. 

"I don't need your half assed answers tonight, Neil. Just tell me yes or no." He sounded serious, and Neil studied him for a moment longer. Andrew defiantly met his gaze. 

"Do you want me tonight because of what happened today?" He finally asked. He didn't know WHAT happened today, but he knew it was important to Andrew. The blond narrowed his eyes but never looked away. 

"Partially. I need something… opposite from that." Now, Andrew swallowed and Neil could tell he was waiting for a rejection. He took another step forward. Andrew took one back. "What are you doing?" He snapped. 

"Telling you yes." Neil shrugged. 

"Tell me with your words. Don't touch me." 

Neil brought his hands up and stopped moving forward. Andrew took a moment to study him, as if waiting for him to do something dangerous before he frowned again and turned back around, walking again. Neil caught up with him and walked beside him now. "Where are we flying?"

"Just up. I need to see what's mine and make sure everyone's safe." Andrew admitted. 

"..." Neil swallowed the question of if he was still one of Andrews things. People. Riders. He was still on the island. He still hadn't run away. Instead, "did you hear Palmetto is responsible for more islands now?" 

"Huh… how many more?" 

"All of them. All the way to the mainland." 

"Who decided this? Now Wymack?"

"Council. To see if we can fly it."

"And if we can't? Burrows effect all of Pern. We don't have enough dragons." 

Neil was impressed that Andrew realized that even with such little information. Did he just automatically remember each capable dragon they had? "Then we'll get help."

"From Telgar, who will probably be helping us train by then anyway. They'll have the right to occupy us then," Andrew realized, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. Neil watched him. 

"What are we gonna do about it?" Neil asked quietly. 

"According to law, it's as simple as letting those who want to help, help. If Telgar comes to our aide, nothing needs to be done… what are we foxes going to do…?" Andrew thought for a moment as they entered the weyr bowl. "What have Kevin and Dan figured? I bet that's what they were working on with Wymack."

"Start training the younger ones sooner. If the oldest of the hatchlings start training now, join the Weyrlings, we'll have double the fighting strength this time next year. With this year's hatchlings coming up, too. With luck, we can have enough to fly all the islands with full fighting strength. And a queen's wing. I didn't suggest the Queen's wing to Wymach and Dan yet but… it would be possible. It's been done before." Neil suggested. Andrew hummed quietly in approval as they stepped into the changing rooms and started to pull on their gear. 

"Then I don't have to do anything yet. Good job." 

"Me? I didn't do anything." 

"You will. And you got yourself included. With luck, you'll be helping train the queen from your clutch, and Tenith will be in her entourage." 

"How's that me doing anything?" 

"By the time Thread falls, Tenith will have bonded with that queen own way or another. It'll be one more reason for you to stay."

Neil paused, looking over at Andrew. He hadn't intended that. 

"Are you going to run away?" The blond asked, pulling in his shoulder pads. 

"I might not have a choice." Neil looked away, down at his bench. 

"You always have a choice. As long as I'm here, you will always have a choice."

"Am I yours then?" Neil asked before he could stop himself. 

"Do you want to be?"

"I don't know." Neil breathed honestly. Andrew nodded. 

"Yardith is ready."

Neil swallowed hard, but finished tightening his straps and pulling on his armor. When he was dine, Andrew was still watching him, and he paused, suddenly feeling naked, just like that first day. He remembered Andrews scars, and wondered if that had anything to do with what had happened earlier that day. It certainly had a lot to do with why Andrew didn't want to be touched. 

"Yes or no, Neil?" The blond asked him. "You can say no." 

Neil shook his head, and raised his hands up. "I want to say yes." He said, just as quietly. Something like relief washed over Andrews face, and was gone a moment later, as he reached out and took one of Neil's gloved hands in his own, pulling him out of the changing room and into the weyr bowl again, where Yardith was waiting for them both.


	2. Building Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the second game nears, the pressure begins to build. With Allison recovering from Seth's death and Andrew struggling to deal with his personal problems, Neil comes to terms with his own feelings... Then immediately pushes them away again. When Andrew confronts him about it, Neil takes a step closer to the truth, mostly thanks to Tenith and her sass.

The next few days were like a slowly boiling stew in a pot whose lid was too tight. Pressure and steam seemed to build no matter where Neil went, and though things seemed just fine on a cursory glance, they were bound to erupt soon. The problem was, Neil didn’t know where or how. 

The Weyrleaders had taken to testing Tenith and the golden queen from her clutch during practices, carefully giving Neil and the pretty blond girl (Neil recalled that her name was Katelyn) tasks to complete and seeing how their hatchlings responded to the orders. Abby stayed and watched carefully, helping them whenever she could, and teaching them special dragon biology and healing lessons whenever they had a break. 

Whenever one task was completed successfully, Kevin, Dan, and Wymack would come over to make them do it all over again and test to make sure that there wasn’t too much strain or difficulty and determine if it was something they could keep in the training regime or not. Then they would force the young dragons to rest and eat if they were hungry before going on to another task once whatever impromptu lesson from Abby was over again. 

It was exhausting, but Neil noticed that Katelyn never complained and her beautiful gold took an instant liking to Tenith. Neil made a point of staying out of her little gold’s head and Tenith didn’t seem sure what to think about her at first, but respected her as a queen nevertheless. It was really strange to see that Tenith was more comfortable with other humans and older dragons more than the other young dragon- her very own sister- but then Neil had really only ever exposed her to her own clutch during mandatory lessons or those times when she was at the creche and he had Harper classes. Maybe it was a natural side-effect.

Either way, with the little queen there, the older dragons’ attentions were divided whenever they came over and he noticed her turning to speak with someone more than once and see that they were focussed on the cute new queen. He wanted to feel bad for her realizing that she wasn’t the center of attention anymore, but he understood that this was a lesson that had to be learned sooner rather than later. 

That, and it seemed that nearly every test they performed had Tenith outshone by the Queen if it wasn’t based on speed. The gold was bigger than Tenith, even if the beautiful green was almost as large as a horse now, and stronger, too. The gold was just slightly more mature, and handled the commands from her rider easily, even if it was clear that she had a regalness that only a spoiled child could display and still maintain maximum cuteness. 

Tenith said nothing about it, and offered compliments when they were appropriate, but whenever she had the chance to dart off, Neil noticed that she did so. Well, until he overheard Yardith complimenting her about how kind and wise she was to share her spotlight with the queen. He playfully teased her about how brave she was to be at the forefront of the preparations for fighting thread by doing lessons like these and even crooned down at her about how much stronger she would be for it and how much envy she would draw from the other dragons for being so close to the queen, who would one day birth so many dragons that would then go on to save all of Pern.

Even then, the marked improvement of Tenith’s mood and the now jovial conversations she actively included the pretty queen in would have gone without remark from Neil if Andrew didn’t make it a point to walk over to Tenith during a break and give her even more praises for being such a good girl. 

“What are you doing?” he finally asked Andrew, frowning over at the blond. Hazel eyes locked on him, a gleeful storm brewing in mirror image of his Blue dragon’s huge orbs. 

“Whatever I can to keep you.” Andrew responded, shocking Neil just enough to take half a step back. 

“By using my dragon?” 

“You can look at it that way if you want. I would really rather think about it as showing you exactly where you belong, since we’ve already established that you need to be kept.”

“And where is that?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Andrew asked, standing and spreading his arms out, grin wide. Neil glanced around to see if anyone was watching, and Yardith’s chuckle from above startled him into jumping. “Don’t look so terrified, Neil. It’s tiring to keep telling you that you do have options. You never give me a straight no, and when I ignore you to try to put distance between us, you pout. I would have given up on anyone else a long time ago, but there is something just so intriguing about you, Neil. I won’t force you, but you clearly seem to enjoy the attention. All I’m trying to do is let you know that I am here whenever you decide you’re finally tired of running.”

“This seems like a really roundabout way to do it, if I’m being completely honest.” Neil couldn’t help but frown over at him again. Again, Andrew shrugged.

“Well, outright asking you to be mine doesn’t seem to work.”

“Why do you want me so bad?” Neil half hissed at him now, glancing over to see Tenith had pranced over to the golden queen both were spreading their wings wide against the gust of wind caused by Lynth batting a single of her massive ones in their direction playfully. 

“You’re entertaining. And you keep coming back- still haven’t run away yet, despite all the reasons you seem to think you have for leaving.” Andrew said, nothing more than a repeat of his previous answers. Again, Neil was dissatisfied and half turned away.

“If that’s all you want, you already have Kevin.” he pointed out. Andrew glanced over at the dark haired Bronze and laughed lightly. 

“Do you still think you mean the same to me as Kevin?” 

“I’m not dumb- I know Kevin’s more important.” 

“Aren’t you, though?” Andrew asked after a short pause, a familiar slow and pointed blink passing between them. Neil felt his cheeks start to burn at that, not knowing why, but feeling like he had just gotten a huge piece of the puzzle. Before he could ask anything else, though, Renee walked over, smiling pleasantly between them. “Hi, Renee,” Andrew smirked, his eyes slowly sliding off of Neil’s face, reminding him of the first morning Andrew had ever come for him, back when he was still staying with the Weyrleader and Wy’Rhaun. 

“Hi, Andrew,” she smiled, as if it wasn’t strange to greet him after they had spent nearly half the day together in the sky already. “I’m sorry to steal him, Neil, but it’s time to start back.” 

“You’re not stealing me, Renee.” Andrew smiled- and it actually looked kind of happy, now that Neil looked closer. He wanted to say something, but it felt like the conversation had no room for him and now that Renee was there, Andrew was ignoring him completely. 

Neil tried to put that thought aside and not worry about it any more than he had to…

But then Andrew didn’t come for him that night and Kevin cancelled practice.

Neil mostly forgot about it after that, but only because Wymack reminded everyone about the upcoming game.

Kevin and the Weyrleaders seemed to be narrowing down on a starting point for the young dragons despite the fact that and Neil felt stretched thin with all of the things he was being asked to do.

And then Allison seemed to somehow take a couple of steps out of her grieving stupor at the prospect of another game, if only to show everyone just how doubly fierce she could be. It was really almost frightening, especially as the rest of the wing shifted to accommodate her newfound singular space among them. She wasn’t quite herself, no matter how well put together she was, and the long distance stare she too-often had now was too painful to watch.

Dan seemed determined to invite her in and MAKE them work together as a team again, though, so they were all invited out to the town for dinner. It was awkward, and Neil had no idea how he was somehow invited, but Aaron and Katelyn were there, too, so he figured it was just some sort of strange coincidence. 

He wanted to apologize to her- to somehow make up for the fact that his loud mouth at the Harper Hall meeting had gotten her boyfriend killed, but as soon as they got some sort of semi alone time and he brought it up, Dan came over and chastised him for bringing it up. Allison, eyes still not quite as bright as they had been before, still snapped at him and called him a fool for thinking that everything was his fault alone. She and Seth were both adults, after all, and they had known about the threat of those who wanted Kevin back long before Neil came to Palmetto. They chose to go out, and have fun rather than be huddled inside like herdbeasts waiting for a slaughter. Neil tried to apologize again, but she would hear none of it, and ignored him the rest of the night.

Things didn’t really get much better, though, since after that Neil had to study for his Harper classes. He thought he would have some peace and quiet in the library, but Dan, Matt, and Kevin all showed up within the hour, Kevin taking a seat beside him and reminding him too much of the conversation with Andrew to concentrate on his notes. 

He was determined to NOT be the first one to give up for the night, though, as Dan was still researching things about young dragons and Matt and Kevin were studying records of previous Threadfalls. He was so focussed that by the time he was well into his third set of notes, he was totally unaware of the eyes on him until he felt Kevin’s knee against his own. He started, almost jumping up from his chair into a defensive position before he realized that it was just Kevin’s way of getting his attention. 

“You’re nearly as jumpy as Andrew…” he pointed out, eyes locked on Neil in too studious a way to allow Neil to feel comfortable. 

“Neil, how many notes do you HAVE?” Dan asked him instead of allowing him to answer Kevin’s accusation.

“I just have six scrolls…” Neil reached down into the satchel he had hooked over the back of his chair, patting it. “Since the Harper classes are mandatory…” 

“What? But, they’re not for all different classes are they?” Matt wondered curiously, reaching over to grab the latest scroll. Neil noticed how assertively intrusive the larger man was, but had early on seen that that was just his rough and tumble way- he wasn’t a bad man, just sharp around the edges. He nodded silently, waiting to hear what he had done wrong.

“And last night was the first night in weeks that we haven’t practiced at night. You wake at dawn like the rest of us... “ Kevin narrowed his eyes a bit, expression mimicked on Dan’s face. Where his was begrudging respect, though, her’s was nothing more than motherly indignation. 

“You’re taking way too many classes, Neil. You really should only be taking four, at most. You need time to rest up and study- to spend time grooming and bonding with Tenith.” She was already reaching over to take the scroll from Matt and roll it back up. Neil frowned over at them.

“I thought we had to take six.” 

“Only if you’re in a rush to leave the weyr.” Matt shrugged, and Dan elbowed him, missing the accusing look Kevin shot at Neil. 

“Listen, Neil. You really should NOT be taking so many classes. It’s killing you- I’ve noticed how tired and distracted you seem lately, but I just thought that maybe that was just dragonling insomnia added onto the stress of being with the foxes- staying up too late to watch your dragon sleep or sneaking around with your weyrmates when she’s finally out for the count.” she shrugged, and Neil frowned a bit, wondering where he would want to sneak out to while Tenith was asleep. At most, it was out to practice, and that was when Yardith was there to watch over her if she didn’t tag along to play with Andrew while he flew with Kevin.

“I won’t be in trouble if I decide to drop a couple of them, then? I know they’re mandatory, so I just thought that when six were suggested, that was what I had to take...” he wondered. He had to admit, having a few more hours in his day would make his life so much easier! Not to mention, he really did NOT plan on using every single one of his classes in real life when he was running just to stay alive with Tenith later on. If he could drop International Statistics and his introduction to history classes, that would be perfect. As the son of a Master, he had gotten ample Harper lessons on both subjects growing up and could still recite all of the major houses, Holds, and Crafthalls, and their Masters Pern wide without trouble, not to mention properly calculate stocks and proper exchange rates based on cost and demand within each hemisphere. 

“No- of course not!” Dan urged him, easily reaching forward to pat the back of his hand. He tried not to feel uncomfortable and instead let out a relieved sigh. 

“Oh, thank the first egg… Can you help me do that, then?” he asked, hoping to distract her from his hand by holding up another scroll. 

Between Dan, Matt, and Kevin, Neil figured out which lessons he wanted to keep taking and wrote up a withdrawal form for the two dropped classes. Dan lectured him about how he should be getting enough rest and sleep and how he should talk with them more so that they could help him out with things like that whenever he was in trouble. He tried to thank her again, but then she just shrugged and said that that was what wingmates- family- was for. As long as he was under her wing, he would always be watched over like that. He tried not to show how much that bothered him, but he saw the look Kevin shot his way before he finished up the final bit of homework he still had to do.

Still, something felt like it was bubbling, just below the surface. 

The next day, Andrew didn’t show up to practice, and Neil was starting to worry, but when he took Tenith to the pools to bathe and oil her, he spotted the blond lounging with Yardith in the sun. Tenith eagerly went over to talk to them, but Andrew was busy talking with Renee animatedly about something as soon as he saw HER round the corner. They went off away from the weyr together, and Neil tried not to show that bothered him just as much as it bothered Tenith. It was too late to cover it up when he noticed that Kevin had been watching him again, though.

They didn’t have practice after practice that day, either.

The boiling, bubbling feeling intensified, and others were starting to take notice. 

He and Aaron were invited to another dinner on the town, and before Neil could decline, he was all but manhandled into the girl’s common room and sat down with them and the young gold. He HAD to start calling her Katelyn.

Still, he noticed that Renee wasn’t there and earnestly tried not to think about what that meant. What did he care, after all? He repeatedly avoided every attempt Andrew made at claiming him. And anyway, he was trying to avoid anything even close to feelings- for Tenith’s sake. 

Then again, she must already know. She knew everything about Neil, and when he had broken down and told her everything, he had even included secrets about his emotions when it came to Andrew. She already knew that, of course, but saying them out loud made them real and terrifying and they had only intensified after that. Trying to ignore the fact that Renee seemed to easily accept Andrew’s attention even though Neil almost always actively avoided it made no sense, but Neil couldn’t help it. 

“Yea, he’s totally lost in his own world,” he heard a moment later, and glanced around. It wasn’t like he expected to see Andrew, but… Allison smirked and leaned towards him, brows raised. “And he’s back. Hello, handsome. How nice of you to join us.”

“I’m sorry,” Neil shifted, moving a bit away from her. She was too close, and though she seemed a little more stable after her short period of mourning, Neil wasn’t sure how to deal with her now. 

“What were you thinking about?” Dan asked him, handing him a pale orange robe to change into. He noticed that it was a style most green riders chose to wear, and wondered if Allison had lent it to him or if it was all new. 

“Tenith’s getting so big now…” Neil didn’t lie. 

“Tenith makes you blush like that? I thought only Andrew could do something so miraculous,” Allison rolled her eyes, moving back to her own seat and turning to a mirror to apply her eyeliner. 

“Andrew doesn’t make me blush,” Neil protested, but fear was already gripping him. If they could see that, he really was in too deep. He had to keep away from Andrew. If even THEY could see it, maybe that was the reason the crazy blond kept coming after Neil. He could tell Neil liked-- 

No! Neil didn’t even want to go down that path. He couldn’t. He couldn’t afford to.

Tenith couldn’t afford him to.

“Yea, I would deny that, too. That boy’s insane.” Allison shrugged. “But, clearly there’s SOMETHING there.”

“There isn’t--” Neil started, only to nearly jump out of his skin when someone knocked on the door. 

Thankful for the distraction, he completely ignored the deep blush on Katelyn’s face in favor of seeing who it was. But it was just Renee. 

A bloody and bruised Renee. 

“Oh, honey…” Dan hurried to bustle her into the room, shaking her head. “When I saw you two today, I didn’t think it would be THIS again.”

“I don’t know why you keep doing it,” Allison piped up, hopping up and rushing to the cool box to get a block of ice and a poultice Neil knew could prevent swelling and prevent infection just by the smell. 

“What happened?” Katelyn worried, brows raised as she hurried to get a wet cloth and help as well. “I thought you left with Andrew after practice.”

“Did he hit you?” Neil half whispered, noticing Renee’s cracked knuckles as well.

“A couple of times.” the pale haired girl admitted, accepting the gentle cleansing Katelyn and Allison were offering while Dan followed behind with the salve. “But only after I got in a few of my own.”

Neil didn’t know what to say- what to feel. After the way he had reacted over Andrew and now this? Renee seemed to notice him, in particular, the only one who wasn’t busily helping. Even Katelyn was quiet and studiously dabbing at her knuckles.

“Andrew and I are sparring partners.” 

“Sparring…?” Neil couldn’t help but glance down at her necklace- her small stature- her serene expression.

“He’s going through a tough time right now, and sometimes it helps to unload some stress against someone you know you match well with.” She shrugged. Neil remained silent. 

“Might wanna rephrase that. Neil’s gonna get jealous.” Allison halfheartedly teased. Renee only offered a small smile, careful not to split her lip even farther. 

“He enjoys my company for the skills I know, rather than for any attempt at a relationship.” Renee clarified. Neil still remained silent, not sure what he should say but hungry for more information. “I may not look it now, but in my past life I used to be quite rough. I did what I had to do to survive, and earned a lot of skills necessary for that kind of life. I was lucky enough to meet the woman I call my mother now, and I now try to live my life by the light of the first queen’s egg for the good of all Pern, but Andrew’s much more interested in me because I can spar him and he’s not afraid of hurting me. So, when he needs some help and someone to unwind with, I’m more than happy to help him. I don’t always agree with his beliefs, but he’s a very close friend to me. I do whatever I can to help him.”

“Careful, he looks like he swallowed that whole,” Allison continued to bait him. Neil couldn’t take it. 

“Are you okay?” Neil asked.

“We both are.” Renee answered. 

“Are you okay, Neil?” Dan wondered, glancing over at him. 

“He’s just processing the new information. He now understands why he doesn’t like me so much.” Renee reassured her. Neil bristled, but kept it contained. 

“What? You have a problem with Renee?” Allison asked now, pausing to turn around and glare at him. He didn’t miss the way Renee reached forward and placed a hand on her hip to calm her. 

“I don’t understand Renee.” Neil clarified. 

“You could just ask,” she smiled.

“And get answers I’m better off not knowing?” The green shook his head, unconsciously taking a half step back.

Renee only nodded at this, though, and smiled. “In my past, that was grounds enough to have problems. Mysteries are loose ends, and people who you don’t trust are the worst ones to look out for.” Renee explained, and Neil felt fear bubble up again. She knew far too much to be a girl of the first egg. Saved or not. “It’s alright. I understand. But I’m also not ashamed of my past. I have come to terms with it, and it makes me who I am today. If any good can come from who I used to be, of course I’ll use it to help my friends.”

“Does Andrew claim you?” Neil couldn’t help but ask. Renee smiled again and shook her head. 

“I’m his friend. He found me interesting enough to test after his Impression, and once he realized I wasn’t a threat to those he DID claim, we landed on common ground.”

“Are you okay?” Neil knew he had already asked that question but…

“We both are.” She reassured him again, without any hesitation or irritation. Neil fell silent again, and Allison turned back to her face. 

“Well, we can’t go out to town with your face looking like this, love.” Dan finally sighed when they were done, looking mournfully over at the robe she had just handed Neil.

“Don’t let me stop you.” Renee tried to reassure them as well, but Allison was having none of it.

“I have GOT to get out of here. At least come with us down to the beaches. We can have dinner there- build a fire and relax a little. At least before our next game. I need some serious relaxation time after everything.” She wrapped an arm around Renee and the smaller Blue tried not to wince. 

“Alright. I can do that.” she agreed. 

Again, Neil was roped in, and again, he wondered how the girls had manhandled him into going along with it. Still, by the time everything was said and done, Allison had gone off on her dragon to gather firewood, Dan and Katelyn had gone to get the food, and Neil was left alone with Renee to dig out a pit in the sand for the fire. 

The boiling lid was rattling now, and Neil felt the tension in his shoulders. 

No doubt they wanted him to cave in and open up to Renee but he had no desire to. Especially now that he realized just how easy it was for everyone else to read his emotions. He remained silent, purposely keeping his hands in the sand or on Tenith or in the cool night ocean. He didn't need to have RENEE joining in and meddling into his business. Luckily, she seemed to understand and kept quiet as well.

The next day, practice was just as tense as the day before, only this time Andrew ignored Neil and picked fights with Allison until Renee stepped in. 

Neil knew that was only because she was the peacekeeper of the whole group but he couldn’t forget the quip Allison had made about being jealous. 

— Are you jealous because Renee gets to be with him?— Tenith wondered curiously, causing Neil to blush when the gold beside her turned softly whirling green eyes on him, then Katelyn glanced over as well. Did they hear those thoughts, or did they just notice Neil tensing up? 

—No. Don’t broadcast your thoughts so loudly, love. I couldn’t care less who Andrew spends his time with. This is...— Neil tried to lie to her. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway. He didn’t have time to worry about that. This was just the side effect of being in the same place for too long. That was all.

—Is it?— Tenith asked him skeptically, and he got the distinct feeling that she was reviewing all of the memories he had shared with her. —This does happen sometimes. When you like someone… but it’s only been girls before, and your mother would always make sure you learned NOT to be with them. Girls are dangerous…— he felt her examining the girls nearby and comparing his feelings for Andrew with his feelings for them. —This is different—

—Tenith, even if it is, I can’t indulge whatever stupid ideas I might get. It’s dangerous, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl or whatever. People are coming after me- threatening my life. Their lives. Your life. What do you think is going to happen if my father or the Moriyamas come to get me and my friends stand up in their way? They’ll kill everyone even remotely related to me. If I like Andrew, he’s as good as dead.— Neil warned her. She bristled at that, and turned to face him. 

—And what if he likes you, and knows that? And still wants you?— she shot back. Neil stared at her as he felt heat creeping into his cheeks. 

—Andrew can’t. And I’m not something to possess like he wants. He already has Kevin. And he has Renee. And— 

—You are a fool, Neil— Tenith frowned over at him. For the thousandth time, Neil wondered how she could make such expressions with a dragon face.

—Me? Tenith, it’s dangerous, no matter what, and we both know we’ll only be safe for— Neil tried, only to hear Kevin barking orders at him to concentrate as K’holinth landed, already releasing his saddle to march over with narrowed eyes. Tenith let the conversation go, but Neil couldn’t help but feel the eyes on him now. He wondered if she had let that conversation available for all to hear, but prayed to the first egg that she would at least know how dangerous that could be. Mentally, he sent her a warning that they would talk later and not to bring stuff like that up again. A flick of her tail was all the response she gave him that she heard and Neil felt the lid of his proverbial boiling pot rattle and shake with the force of the boiling pressure below.

He thought that was going to be the worst of it- really, he did.

But then Andrew came for him that night, and spent a long time praising and cuddling and loving on Tenith before they could even make it out into the Weyr bowl. Neil thought that maybe he wouldn’t even say or do anything and just let them both be as awkward as ever, which would have really been just fine by Neil. No matter how he felt, he could not let Andrew get so close. 

As soon as he thought that, Andrew glanced up at him. 

“She’s right. You are a fool,” the blond grinned at him. Neil frowned, and moved forward to urge Tenith away from Andrew. 

“If you’re going to be trading insults about me, there’s no reason for you to talk to my dragon.” Neil frowned.

“Who said they were insults? Do you really think so lowly of me, Neil?” Andrew continued to tease him.

“No matter what I think, I need to practice. I’m not going to be any more ready for Thread just sitting around talking to you.”

“Or tucking tail and running. Though I’m sure there are plenty of caves and coves for a cowardly dragonman to huddle in and die.”

“Why are you so concerned if I die or not?”

“I guess I shouldn’t be, should I?”

“Just, why?” Neil asked, uncomfortable. The blond studied him for a moment, hazel eyes soaking Neil in and reminding him of his dragon. Neil had to suppress a shiver when Andrew reached forward for him. The blue’s hand reached up, fingers brushing past his cheek and back up into his hair to take a firm hold there, forcing Neil’s head down until they could stare into each other’s eyes. Neil hated how intimate it was. 

He hated that he had come to love it.

“It’s not a very good idea...” Andrew murmured, voice low and soft- a secret between just the two of them. Neil’s heart raced. 

“It never is, with me,” Neil didn’t know what he was doing- telling them both a truth they clearly knew already. Trying to persuade himself? Or Andrew? To make whatever it was this was stop? Prevent it from starting in the first place? But it was too late for that. 

“Do you think it is with me?” A humorless grin lazily caressed Andrew’s lips, and Neil could feel it more than he could see it, this close to him.

“It can’t be.” Neil breathed. “Tenith…”

Andrew’s eyes laughed at him. “Let me ask you this, Nicholas, Neil- do you want me? Do you want me to have you? To hold you, and make you mine? Your half truths only leave room for hope.” 

“Hope? For me?” Neil wasn’t sure how to take that.

“For you.” Andrew reiterated, and Neil could feel the difference between his own question and Andrew’s affirmation.

He could almost see his own fear reflected in Andrew’s eyes. Then, just as slowly as each time before, Andrew released his hair and trailed his hand down Neil’s shoulder and back. Only once he was done did his grin return. 

“What’s so funny?” Neil wondered, pressing his own hand up into the hair at the back of his neck, missing the warmth. 

“Me.” The blond laughed now, finishing his trek out into the Weyr bowl, Tenith following shortly behind. Neil silently cursed himself for letting even THAT happen with her there. Usually by the time he met with Andrew, she was asleep or distracted or SOMETHING. He knew by now, from context clues and people’s actions that it was highly unlikely that her growth would be stunted by him being attracted to or even sexually active with someone while she was still young, but he wasn’t sure if he could risk that just because he had a little crush. Sure, Andrew was promising him something that was so, so tempting, and being with him felt like nothing Neil had ever felt before- felt safe- but… He reminded himself that the reason Weyrleaders likely let the rumor spread about sexual and romantic relationships stunting a young dragon’s growth was likely for reasons more important than some silly crush. 

Most dragonlings Impressed at very young ages, and greens especially were known to be very sexually active as well as fertile- both dragons and riders. Everyone within a certain radius of a Queen (and sometimes green) mating flight were somehow triggered by the intense passion the dragons felt. Children were much less affected than adults and often just got very giddy and happily played or cuddled in the pure innocence of their youth for a while before going about their day, but more mature people often indulged themselves sexually with the nearest possible person. There was no help for it- unless you locked yourself in your room or were somehow immune to sexual urges. 

There were some who were, Neil had heard. 

If more mature dragonlings couldn’t control their own immediate urges outside of a mating flight, however, there was no way they could control their dragons, and if they got pregnant just before Threadfall, it was dangerous to everyone involved, and demnished the flying strength of the Weyr. Neil couldn’t get pregnant, but that didn’t mean he was willing to let himself be wild just because he was attracted to Andrew. Nor did it mean that he was willing to risk Tenith’s health. The last thing he wanted was to trigger something in HER and leave her in some sort of vulnerable position to be taken advantage of by whatever nearest dragon happened to be there.

It wasn’t like the physical attraction was all there was, anyway. He was already far too deep for just THAT to be what was tempting about the minute blue.

When Neil closed his eyes, he saw the dragon man that had been killed all those years ago in front of him, and heard the high pitched keening that he now knew was the dragon song of death and mourning. He didn’t want that for Andrew. Not for him. 

But Allison’s words echoed in his head. They were adults. They knew what they were doing. 

And Andrew said he would protect Neil. He would stand against all of Pern for this little island and everyone on it. The only decision Neil had to make was how close he was willing to stand by Andrew.

It was terrifying that Neil was already considered Andrew’s and that he was somehow just fine with that even if all Neil wanted to do was run… but…

He swallowed hard as he met up with Kevin and tried his damndest to ignore Tenith happily darting around Andrew and Yardith. 

He didn’t want to admit it, but he noticed that after that those dangerous little moments with Andrew, the clanging, rattling lid was starting to settle, and the enraged boiling was simmering down. 

He knew Andrew couldn’t have been watching him close enough to do it on purpose, but it was just in time, too.

The next day was game day, and it started just like the first had. Neil went to classes in the morning, then was all but picked up by the others and led into the Weyr bowl, where everyone else was already waiting after changing out. Because it was an away match, he had saddled Tenith up with a modified harness and saddle and made sure that she was secured properly so that she could be carried under one of the larger dragons. Usually this was only done with injured dragons who couldn’t fly Between or other domestic animals that needed to be transferred from place to place easily, but with proper encouragement, she and the little golden queen were both reassured and encouraged to come. 

Kevin even encouraged them to try to spread their wings once and memorize the land as they flew so that the ride wouldn’t be worthless for them. Neil didn’t know why the queen had to come, since she wasn’t on the first wing, but then he realized that all the queens and bronzes and most of the whole weyr was filling the stadium seats, all eager and waiting to see them off and join them in their flight to the mainland. 

Neil was so focused on making sure Tenith’s straps were properly secured that he almost missed the conversation as Andrew and Wymack neared him. 

"Really, you should be more worried about these two lunatics." grinned the blond, arms held out to indicate Neil and Kevin, who was standing beside Neil to make sure he was securing the harness correctly. 

"That's what I want to talk about," Wymack said, moving to stand in front of the first wing, holding up a hand so that everyone paid attention to him as their dragons circled up around them to prevent the onlookers from overhearing. "Dan and I spent these last few weeks figuring out the best way to deal with the striker line and our youngest dragons. You know I can't get us a sub yet but we have Neil and this beautiful young queen.” He spared a moment to nod to Katelyn, who blushed. “They can both speak to their dragons the clearest out of their whole clutch and have the best understanding of the practice Exy drills out of anyone not already on the three main wings, so we’ve been having them train and better build their connections with their dragons to help Dan and the rest of us out.” 

Wymack didn’t look at Neil as he lied, but Katelyn did, and her proud smile made him want to be sick. She was such a happily ignorant fool. 

Over the past week, Dan had been working exclusively with them to learn how to speak through their dragons to give orders to the wing, but Neil knew her training was only for Katelyn. The fact that she was coming along and Neil had to help her while also helping the team as best he could doing his own talking to dragons. 

It was too difficult a task but he didn’t have a choice.

Carefully, he instructed Tenith to make sure to keep the little queen busy and have her check on Katelyn ever so often. If they were going to do this, it was going to have to be a team effort. 

Neil offered the pretty blond a quick smile back, before turning back to the weyrleader.

“Kevin's played full halves before, but not since last year. I don't think you've ever tried," Wymack said, and nodded when Neil shook his head at the secret question. Besides the last game, Neil had never gone into a dragons mind like that before. And to do it through a whole game had been exhausting, especially while he was counting the rules and remembering everyone’s positions on the field. 

"Kevin, you can’t play an entire game in the state you're in now. We'll have to work you up to that one week at a time. "In the meantime, we're mixing things up to stay afloat." Wymack glanced at Dan and Renee.Dan took the cue and smiled over at Katelyn, motioning her to come along and get ready to leave with the rest of the small queen squad. It was good she was learning and would be on the field, but that was the extent of how much she needed to hear with the team. 

"Our solution isn't pretty, but it's the best we can come up with on such short notice, so pay attention." The weyrleader’s short scroll was sitting on the entertainment center. He picked it up, rolled a couple inches out, and began reading. "The starting line-up for tonight's first half goes as follows: Andrew, Matt, Nicky, Allison, Kevin, Neil. First half subs: Aaron for Nicky, Dan for Kevin, Renee for Allison." 

"Wait." Nicky shot Renee a startled look. "What?" 

Wymack held up one hand to cut Nicky off. "Second half line-up: Aaron, Nicky, Allison, Kevin, Dan. Matt's on for Nicky, Neil's going to be taking charge in place of Dan giving orders, and Renee's on for Allison again." He let go of the bottom of the scroll and it snapped up as he looked up. "Tell me you got that, because I'm not repeating it." 

"Is that a joke, Wymack?" Nicky asked. "Renee's a goalkeeper and we can’t go out one short for the first half- they’ll kill us." 

"Dan's the only one who can fill in for the striker line," Renee said, "and Allison is going to be touch and go for a while. The weyrleader and I talked about it on Tuesday, so I've had some time to modify our extra gear. I know I haven't played defense since I was a fosterling, but I'll give it my best shot." 

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but it's not you I'm worried about," Nicky said. "If you're going to play dealer who do we have guarding our queen second half?" 

Wymack looked at Andrew. 

Andrew looked over his shoulder as if checking for a third goalkeeper. There wasn't one, so he quirked an eyebrow at Wymack and dragged his thumb across his smiling mouth. "Weyrleader knows my filicity doesn't work that way." 

"I know," Wymack said. 

"What are you telling me to do?" 

"I'm not telling you anything," Wymack said. "We had a deal and I'm not about to renege on that. I'm offering a trade, same terms and conditions as last year. Abby picked the bottle up yesterday and put it in the first aid kit. It's yours as soon as you walk off the court. All you have to do is play. How you play is up to you." 

"They won't be ready in a week. How long do you think you can keep this up?" 

"As long as you can," Wymack said. "So can you hold the line or can't you? Protect your queen?" 

Andrew laughed. "I guess we'll find out." 

Wymack nodded. "Anyone else have questions?" 

Nicky was persistent. 

"Weyrleader, this line-up is insane." 

"Yup. Good luck." Wymack clapped his hands at them to drown out any other arguments. "Let's move. Get your gear and get out of my weyr bowl. I'm starting the flight in ten minutes. If you're not in formation you're not coming with us. Go, go, go." They split up to the changing rooms to find the rest of their gear and do last minute checks of harnesses and straps. 

Their travel duffels were waiting for them on the benches by their lockers. Since everyone else had already changed out, Neil was really the only one they were waiting on to get fully dressed now, but everyone fiddled in their lockers and gathered up any extra tools or gear they might need while they were away. 

Neil picked his waiting duffel up and tried not to let his heart pound too heavily in his chest when he saw the way Tenith’s name had been painted onto his bench. Carefully, he turned a beautiful black riding jacket over in his hands, admiring the bright orange embroidery that adorned his brand new armor. His and Tenith’s names were on one side and a fox paw was on the other. It smelled new. He just KNEW Darbi and Damien had sent to get it specially made with his measurements from before and reminded himself to thank them when he got back.

He'd just come back from the bathrooms and put the last bit of under armour on and tied it off when metal banged further down. Neil jerked his attention back to his teammates, snapping himself out of his own mind as he took stock of his immediate surroundings. He was always at least partially aware of the things around him to keep himself out of any serious damage but he wasn’t above a mistake now and again. 

The sound he had heard was Andrew opening and closing his locker for no apparent reason. 

Across the room, Neil shuddered as he watched, swearing that for a moment, it was Yardith he saw, coiled and waiting on his haunches, huge eyes whirling as his muscles chorded and the tension built. He only did it twice more before Kevin caught the door to stop him. Andrew didn't fight but shoveled gear out of his locker onto the floor. 

"What is going on?" Kevin asked. "You can't last a full game without your medicine, and this week..." 

Neil was glad someone asked, because he had his own serious doubts about this plan. 

Withdrawal started soon after Andrew missed a dose and came in three stages: a psychological and physical crash, violent illness, and insane cravings. Neil had gotten glimpses of the first two stages. He didn't know how long it took for the third to kick in, but Matt once said Neil would be lucky to never see it. 

Withdrawal shouldn't be a problem, since Andrew was required to stay on his medicine for three years as part of his parole agreement, except Wymack let Andrew come off his drugs on game nights. The court was too hectic and Andrew's armour was too thick for anyone to notice when the manic smile left his face. If Andrew could stomach the crash for the first half, he could take his pills during the halftime break and recover on the sidelines the rest of the game. Andrew seemed to have it down to an art form. Neil hadn't even noticed a difference last week- had that really only been a single week ago?

… But…

That was for one half, and now Andrew was expected to play a full game. The obvious answer was that Andrew would have to play with his drugs tonight whether he wanted to or not, but things were never that easy with Andrew. 

"No, probably not." Andrew sounded far too cheerful for someone who was going to spend half of his night in serious discomfort. He crouched and began sorting out the mess he'd made of his armor and uniform. "We'll figure something out." 

"He's done it once before," Matt said, and Neil noticed the bronze was looking over at him. 

"Yeah, last October." Nicky didn't look up from where he was stuffing things into his duffel, but he was grinning as he told his story. "We found out the Harper Hall was going to strip our autonomy if we didn't stop losing. Weyrleader asked Andrew for a miracle, and Andrew gave us one. He made Wymack come up with a number between one and five, and that's how many points he let the other team get before he shut them out. It was probably the most badass thing I've ever seen." 

If his words were supposed to make Kevin feel better about Andrew's chances tonight, they achieved the exact opposite. Kevin's face was a thundercloud. 

"So you'll try," Kevin said through gritted teeth, "because the Weyrleader asked you to." 

Andrew folded his arms across his knees, tilted his head back, and smiled up at Kevin. "Careful, Kevin. Your jealous streak is showing." 

"For eight moon cycles you've told me no. In eight seconds you told him yes. Why?" 

"Oh, that's easy." Andrew stuffed the last of his gear into his bag and zipped it shut. He slung the bag over his shoulders and got to his feet, standing up so close to Kevin he almost knocked Kevin back a step. "It's just more fun to tell you no. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted me to have fun. I am. Aren't you?" 

For someone so small, Andrew made a lot of noise when shoved into the lockers. 

The minute blue was laughing as he crashed into the orange metal. Neil didn't know what amused Andrew more: Kevin's violence or the splash of blood that now stained the front of Kevin's shirt. Neil hadn't even seen Andrew take a knife out, but it was in his hand in the air between them. Kevin retreated from Andrew with a sharp curse. 

"Jesus, Andrew!" Matt said. "Kevin, are you all right?" 

"I'm fine." Kevin put a hand to his chest as if checking the truth of his words. Neil was at the far end of the lockers from them, so he couldn't see very well, but the relative lack of blood made him think the cut was shallow. It was long, but it wasn't serious. It was going to sting when Kevin put heavy armor overtop it tonight, though. 

Andrew stepped away from the lockers and got in Kevin's space again. He put the edge of the blade against Kevin's chest over his heart and peered up into Kevin's face, nothing less than a dragon in human form. 

Kevin looked more angry than intimidated as he stared back. Matt started toward them, maybe thinking he had to break up round two of their fight. Kevin didn't look away from Andrew when he motioned at Matt to back off. Matt didn't stop until he was within lunging distance. There he waited, still and tense, for one of them to make the wrong move. After he'd gone still, Andrew spoke again. 

"Kevin, Kevin. So predictable. So pathetic. How about a tip? A reward for all your hard work, or something. Ready? You'll start having more success when you ask for things you can actually have." 

"I can have this," Kevin said, voice thick with frustration. "You're just being stupid." 

Neil wondered just how ironic the conversation between the two of them was, when he thought about the struggles he was having with Andrew himself. 

"I guess we'll see, but don't say I didn't warn you!" Andrew stepped around him and wiped his knife off on his arm. Whatever else Andrew wore, there was one accessory Neil had only ever seen him take off once before: a pair of black armbands that stretched from his elbows to his wrists. 

Neil found out his very first night in the weyr that Andrew was hiding sheaths under the thin cotton. As soon as Andrew knew his blade was clean, the knife disappeared from sight. Andrew was out the door a couple seconds later, and Neil could feel Tenith and Yardith’s excitement at seeing him again.

"Are you serious?" Nicky sounded exasperated as he picked his bag up and glared at Kevin. "I thought you gave up this fight months ago. You're never going to win."

Kevin stormed over to his locker without answering and began tying off his own bag to sling over his shoulder. Nicky only shook his head and started for the door. Aaron hadn't slowed long enough to watch the short fight, so he was right behind Nicky. Neil watched Kevin for another outburst, but Kevin was venting the rest of his anger silently on the leather cords of his bag, yanking on them as if he wanted to break them. 

The only thing that mattered to Kevin was Exy. He'd been raised on this sport and the only thing he wanted was to outperform every other striker he faced on the court. He pushed his teammates mercilessly and demanded twice as much of himself. Kevin couldn't stand incompetence and he wouldn't tolerate anything less than his teammate's best efforts, especially since Exy was only a sport when it came to the two hundred year intervals between Threadfall. When the silver menace fell from the skies of pern, hatching into parasites that devoured everything living, Exy was a series of drills and exercises that helped train the only warriors capable of protecting the inhabitants of this beautiful planet.

Now that the next Fall was less than a year away, what Kevin hated most of all was Andrew's bone-deep apathy. Andrew had some of the best 'keeper statistics in all of Pern and that was without putting forth a real effort. Kevin had spent the better part of a year trying to get through to Andrew and encourage him to practice and train for the coming Fall as if his life and the lives of everyone around him depended on it.

He wanted Exy to mean something; he wanted Andrew's best performance like a dying man wanted one last breath of air. 

Andrew knew it, and he refused to play along. 

Neil understood Kevin's anger. He'd been equally baffled when he first arrived and saw Andrew fly. It was impossible—should be impossible—for someone so talented to care so little. 

Unfortunately Andrew's mandatory high wrecked his attention span and kept him buzzing too much to honestly care about the game's outcome, and most of the time the only reason he was even up in the air was because he let his dragon fly however he pleased. Playing through withdrawal might actually be the better option, except Neil had tried talking to a semi-sober Andrew about Exy a couple of weeks ago. 

The psychotic blue said Exy was too boring to be worth his while as long as it was nothing but a game. It was one thing if Andrew's psychological issues and medicine made him incapable of trying, but he'd just sold his ‘game’ to Wymack without a real argument. Neil didn't know what that meant, and he didn't know how to feel about it- if he SHOULD feel anything about it.

Matt waited until Kevin stalked out a minute later before looking at Neil. "Well, tonight is going to be awesome." 

"I think you meant to say 'awful'," Neil said, tugging his bag shut. Matt gave Neil a grim smile and closed his locker. He passed Neil on the way to the door and clapped a hand on Neil's shoulder. "Just try not to think about it until we get there. You won't do yourself any favors if you spend the ride stressing out about things you can't change, and you need to spend the time concentrating on Tenith anyway." 

Neil nodded and said, "Thanks, Matt..." 

The young bronze rider seemed to notice how awkward Neil was being and gave him another pat on the shoulder before nodding and turning to leave. Hesitantly, Neil took a deep breath and started for the door. It didn’t do anyone any good to try to stall when they all knew Andrew and Yardith were just outside waiting for him to mount up before they could all fly off.


	3. FIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew gives Neil a third option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a WHILE, folks!
> 
> But, I'm back, and I intend to write a bit while we're all going through this crazy Covid pre-apocalypse here in the US.
> 
> From this point on, though, I'm going to deviate DRASTICALLY from the story line of the AFTG series and I don't plan to write such in depth play-by-plays of the games. If you're looking for that, I'm very sorry! I'm going to start building up more in the Pern world, and play on the interactions between the people more. I hope you all stick with me, and enjoy the story as I build it up.
> 
> Thank you for being patient with me!

Neil really hadn’t known that flying could be so exhilarating. He hadn’t known that he could FEEL the wind the way he did- TASTE the sea! He didn’t know he could HEAR the sounds of a dragon’s heart beating underneath him! He was so wrapped up in the feelings that he almost didn’t hear Andrew, even if he was sitting right behind him. 

“Isn’t your Tenith just perfect?” Asked the blue, his voice echoing in Neil’s mind just as much as it rang in his ears, Yardith mirroring his words playfully. “You feel how she feels right now, don’t you?” They asked, Andrew leaning close but not touching Neil. 

“Tenith…?” Neil gasped, blinking for a moment as his mind seemed to struggle not to double everything. He could literally SEE through his dragon’s eyes if he allowed it. The feeling of working his wings while his arms lay at his side was indescribable, and he found that if he wasn’t paying strict attention, he would flicker between his own point of view and her’s without warning.

“She’s excited, right? More than she’s ever been before? It means she’s easier to connect to.” The blue explained, voice a little quieter now that Neil was paying attention to him. 

“I can… I can FEEL her!” Neil knew tears were filling his eyes, but he tried not to actually cry. He felt more than saw Andrew nod behind him, and THAT was strange, since it wasn’t like the blue rider was touching him.

“Just like at hatching,” Andrew confirmed. “Usually you can easily reach out and hear her, know what she’s thinking and feeling, but when your dragon is feeling anything intense like this, you can feel through her- become her, almost.” 

“Become…?” 

“This is what a dragon man is. During a fall- when you’re flying- or mating.” 

“She’s too young!” Neil almost immediately rejected, blinking hard until he felt that he was only seeing through his own eyes, just enough to turn around look at Andrew, who was staring at him. He blinked hard again when he felt Tenith crane her long neck up to look at the blue above her but beneath Neil.

“When she’s ready, if she wants to, she will. And you’ll feel it. Just like this.” Andrew wasn’t yielding, and Neil shuddered. The blond must have felt it, because he leaned back, releasing the bony knob he liked to hold onto while they flew, giving Neil room. “You don’t have to do anything about it since she’s green and won’t have eggs to hatch anyway- unless you just WANT to encourage her to fly higher and faster, since that will mean she’ll enjoy it and feel better…likely it will also mean she’ll get the partner that she wants, rather than just any blue or brown that flies to try and catch her. Dragons have their preferences, too, after all... but you don’t have to do that, Neil. Nathaniel. You can say no, and close her out. That won’t hurt her, or mean she’s any LESS healthy.”

“She…” Neil swallowed hard and looked forward again, unable to look at Andrew. “If I stay, that means facing the Ravens, before she’s even able to fly on her own. I’ll meet Riko again… my father…” 

“And you think those are things you need to be worried about first, before you worry about if she’ll mate or not?” Andrew wondered.

“I can’t run.” Neil whispered quietly, but he was sure Andrew could hear him. 

“You can,” Andrew reassured him again. “You just don’t want to anymore.”

“If I run, she dies. It’s not about me wanting—“ 

“You don’t want her to die, so you won’t run. Your options are running and letting Tenith die because you can’t take care of her on your own yet, waiting it out and risking Riko and the Moriyamas finding you and killing off those around you until you give up and go to them for whatever they decide they want to do, or…” Andrew paused, waiting for Neil to turn back around. 

“What other option do I have?” It was a challenge, daring Andrew to give him hope.

“You could fight.” 

Neil stared, as if the words didn’t make sense. Suddenly, they hit a pocket of air that was still and quiet, and Tenith let out a squeaky trumpet of glee, holding out her wings and letting the air fill them to make her float, weightless in her harness. Neil felt it, as if he was the dragon himself, and he knew that was affecting his interpretation of the moment. He couldn’t help it, though. He didn’t want to, as he heard the other dragons playfully lift their own voices to encourage her. 

“You could stay with her, like this.” 

Andrew was spewing his too-good promises again, and Neil was too full of Tenith’s joy to reject them so easily this time. 

“You could have her. She could be yours, Neil. You could keep her.” Andrew looked forward at Yardith, who was looking back at them with brilliant and whirling blue/green eyes. “You could keep us.”

“... I…” Neil’s voice was stuck in his throat, and Andrew leaned forward, close enough to kiss. It was the first time Andrew had said that Neil could be the one to do the keeping- as if he could be captured and kept, as wild as he was. “It’s too much… I can’t afford…”

“I’m not for sell- you’re not paying for me. Just like you’re not paying for Tenith. We’re free, Neil.”

“She didn’t have a choice—“ 

“All dragons have a choice. They could decide you’re not for them. They could go BETWEEN rather than be stuck with you. They can go BETWEEN any time they want. Didn’t you see the way she looked for you on the hatching ground” Andrew’s voice was quiet, but clear as they continued through the air pocket. 

“But why…?” Neil swallowed hard, struggling but never pulling back. He didn’t know when Andrew had leaned forward to press their foreheads together but the hand in his hair made him somehow feel… safe? This wasn’t Andrew’s game, but it was the truth.

“She wants to fight. For you- for what’s her’s. Tenith told me she does, and I’m inclined to agree with her philosophy. That’s our choice. I’ll do it from here, where I can keep an eye on everything that’s mine. Tenith will do it by your side, no matter where you go.” Andrew made it sound so simple! Tenith bugled again, as if adding her voice to his now. Neil could feel that was what she meant to do, too, now that she was listening to him. 

“If I stay…” Neil felt Andrews fingers curl tighter in his hair and a shiver ran down his spine. “That means fighting.”

“Will you fight?”

“I’m so used to running… Standing still always means…”

“Then fly, Neil,” Andrew whispered to him, hazel eyes seeming pure blue as Neil stared into them. He could FEEL Tenith flying with them, and knew that this was what it was going to be like. It was exhilarating and dangerous- it felt… RIGHT, though. Completely different than when he was running- or even when he was hopping between dragons during a game!

“How…?” Neil whispered, feeling the pressure building as they neared the end of their tranquil little pocket of air. 

“Trust me. Open up your mind to Tenith,” Andrew encouraged now, tugging Neil’s hair until he turned around and settled back into the proper position in the saddle. The hand stayed in his hair, a gentle pressure reminding him of Andrew’s presence behind him.

“Like when I’m trying to tell Yardith where to go?” Neil wondered. Andrew reached around with his free hand to grab the bone in front of the saddle and Neil could feel him shaking his head. 

“Not like that. You already know how to do that- and pretty decently when you’re on the field, no matter what Kevin says… I don’t have a lot of time, so I can only coddle you a little bit longer.” Andrew explained as he repositioned himself. Neil shifted to accommodate as well, and Andrew reached forward to grab his hands, making him jump a little. 

There was a moment when they both froze, but Neil forced his muscles to relax, and he nodded. “It’s okay- I’m saying yes.”

Neil had no idea why he said it like that- as if he needed to be formal and clear and PRECISE about this exchange of power- but he tried to convince himself that it was just the sudden rush he got when the air pressure returned and Yardith started beating his wings hard again to send Tenith swaying in her harness, her own thin wings flapping hard as if she was helping. 

It certainly was NOT because of the way Andrew’s fingers tightened around his own at the affirmation, or the nearly overwhelming craving he had for such a reaction.

“You feel how excited she is now- she’s breathing hard and working her muscles, feeling the air on her face.” Andrew pushed now, and Neil felt himself flickering to her for a moment. His heart immediately pounded in his chest in response and he mentally pulled away. “No- stay there.”

“I can’t,” Neil breathed, blinking a bit as his vision doubled.

“You’re fighting it. Relax. Give up.” Andrew wasn’t using the open, almost quiet voice he had used from before, but it was just as… good? This time, he was strict and firm, with just a hint of that whip quick snapping he used during their after practice practices. “Just breathe with her- feel her.”

Trying again, Neil took a deep breath, and when his vision blurred again, he tried to force himself to relax. He was trying so hard that he really forgot to breathe himself, until Andrew squeezed his fingers again. “Trust me,” Andrew’s voice echoed in his ears and mind, and it was like a reverberating shock that tipped him out of the saddle and down into Tenith’s harness. 

The surprised squawk that came from the dragonling’s mouth was half Tenith and half Neil, and the young dragon blinked as she looked around, taking stock of her own body as if seeing it for the first time. 

“Good,” Andrew encouraged in his ear, and Neil was shocked that though he could hear Andrew in his ear and feel Andrew’s hands on his own, he could still feel the harness around his own chest and the way the wind was catching on his wings. “Now, I’m going to feed you some images, the way I do with Yardith. This is what you’re going to have to do when you fly- when you bond with her to tell her where to go.”

Neil blinked, but didn’t return to his own body- perspective? He wasn’t even sure anymore! It was like he was two people, and Tenith gave him gentle, encouraging mental hugs as they cohabited their duel beings. 

Then, suddenly, Neil was hovering over Fox Rocks, feeling the sun pounding down on him, even if the breeze was starting to get a bit cool as it blew off the ocean. He could hear the wind through the trees and the happy chatting of the little red beasties below as they darted in and out of their warrens and enjoyed themselves. He gasped as he felt this, his mind struggling to keep up with a third set of sensory input and not break. 

“You’re not just telling your dragon where to go,” Andrew explained, an echo in his mind as he looked around, and Neil was shocked to see the view from Fox Rocks start to shift. He slowly turned, taking in the entire island slowly. As a huge blue head came into view, Neil realized that it was Andrew’s point of view, and he was sharing this too vivid memory with Neil as he sat atop his dragon, hovering in the air with motionless wings. 

“Do you understand?” Andrew all but whispered to him as he closed his eyes slowly, and suddenly, Neil was only Neil and Tenith again. He couldn’t tell if that whisper had been Andrew just now, or if it was a whisper from Andrew at the time of the… memory? But if it was, then wouldn’t that mean that that memory was made specifically with Neil in mind? 

“That’s…” Neil started, half turning towards Andrew to look him in the eye and blinking hard to free his vision and settle into just himself now. “What if I can’t see… remember…?” He tried, and Andrews fingers tightened against his, trembling slightly. 

“Then practice. WANT to see and remember things. You’re a dragon man and all dragon men can do this. You HAVE to do this if you want to stay with us. Do this, and stop running.” 

“I’ll try…” Neil knew it would be hard, and he knew he couldn’t just do it suddenly right now. It would take a long time- maybe years, if it was really as hard as the dragons said it would be. Andrew only nodded, though, and loosened his grip. Neil hadn’t realized how hard Andrew had been holding his hand until just then, feeling the sharp tingle as his nerves fired off from falling asleep. Curiously, he glanced back again and saw that Andrew was staring back. Neil felt his elation from the flight quickly wash away as he cut off his connection from Tenith. 

“Andrew-“

“That’s enough for today.”

“But—“ 

“I said that’s enough. Didn’t you already get your fix? Or do you need more? You fiend.” Andrew grinned as he leaned back. 

“That’s not funny. I just wanted to know if you were okay. You’re pushing back your dose-“ Neil tried again, but Andrew only smirked at him. 

“Even if I wasn’t, you couldn’t do anything about it. Our little moment is over, Nathaniel. Let it go.” 

Neil frowned back at him, determined not to let it get to him. He hated it when Andrew called him that- reminding him of who he was- what he was. 

“You’re cute when you’re being hardheaded.” Andrew shivered a little and turned his face away. “But I can’t play with you right now. Maybe later tonight.”

“If it hurts this bad… why are you doing it?” Neil wondered, finally voicing his concerns. 

“Do I need a reason?” 

“It’s hurting you. So why?” Neil demanded.

“It doesn’t hurt YET. I can bear with this.” 

“Damnit, Andrew—“

“I want to.” Now, Andrew looked back at him. “I’m free to do what I want - and no one can catch me. No one can touch me or Yardith. Are you telling me to give that up? When you’re not even brave enough to claim your own dragon? Don’t make me laugh.”

Neil shook his head and turned around, feeling like a fool for falling so easily into Andrew’s game. “Fine. Suffer on your own, then.” 

Andrew didn’t even bother to answer him and instead just leaned back a bit and relaxed for the rest of the ride. Irritated, Neil spent his time going in and out of Tenith’s consciousness, enjoying the feel of the wind and helping her position her wings so that she could get the best exercise from the flight. 

He purposely did NOT think about Andrew and his change of mood. 

In no time, it seemed, they made it to the other Weyr and Neil scrambled off and unhooked Tenith to let her stretch. 

Two HarperEnforcers waited for the Foxes to unload their gear before leading them to the away wing’s ready room. Neil trusted Tenith to get him there and looked around. Belmonte Weyr's stadium was almost identical to the Foxhole Weyr in the size and build, but it was hard for Neil to see the similarities when the crowd swarming around them wore green. He looked for orange and couldn't find it anywhere. 

After four months at the Foxhole weyr, Neil found the layout of Belmonte's locker room disorienting. The rooms were larger, to accommodate the weyr’s bigger wings, but it felt smaller and backwards somehow. The changing rooms were right inside the door they came in, and the bathroom was separate. 

Neil guessed it was cheaper to have one unisex bathroom than install toilets in both changing rooms. 

There was a room Healer Abby could use in case any one of her riders got injured. 

The last and largest room was for the Foxes to argue strategies between halves and meet the harpers after the game. One of the Enforcers took the back door into the stadium to find the referees and alert Weyrleader Harrison to their arrival. The other went over a checklist of basic rules with Wymack and Abby. Wymack had to wait for the officials so he could turn in their paperwork and roster, so he sent the Foxes ahead to rest a bit and get settled. They had already changed out and were fully ready to go- the flight there wasn’t so long as to tire them out and actually served as a good warm up since they took their time and were careful not to overexert themselves. Longer flights would require them to go BETWEEN but this was just fine for now. 

The wing all headed to the changing room, following the Enforcers who gave them kind words and asked Dan about her dragon and when she next expected to Rise- who the young pretty gold was- how the weyr was, and whatnot. Neil couldn’t imagine people greeting him with some when’s the next time you’re going to spread your legs and give us the next breed of heroes?’ 

But Dan seemed to handle it like this was just another day… which it was, he supposed. 

It only took a few steps in for Neil to see that the changing room was more like a suite and was separated into three parts; two changing rooms with a bathroom between them sporting showers on one end. Even from where Neil had stopped at the little door that branched off to the men’s room, he could see there weren't stall doors, even if you did have to round another corner to get to the showers and that was more private than a lot of other communal baths, he knew.

Neil should have expected this, but he'd forgotten, lulled to complacency by the Foxhole Weyr’s setup. 

The only reason the Foxes had private stalls in the men's room was because Wymack specifically commissioned them when the dig out the weyr bowl. 

Neil forcibly focused on the task at hand. 

First he had to survive the game. Then he could worry about the showers. 

Neil relaxed his death grip on his bag strap and found a spot to check his gear and straps, already missing his bench and Tenith’s name. His teammates were almost done already, but they all sat down and relaxed for a little while as they waited for Abby to check over all of the starting dragons and give them the okay to ride again. They filed out as soon as she poked her head in and nodded. 

Wymack was waiting for them in the main room. 

He had them all line up according to flying order with Dan as the queen in front, followed by Katelyn, though she wasn’t going to be flying. After her was Kevin, with Neil right behind even though he wouldn’t be flying either. He was still on the roster as a striker, and that meant standing behind Kevin and having Allison at his back, right beside Renee as dealers. They had already sort of made up, but he could feel her eyes on him and remembered the way she had teased him before they went to the beach. She knew he liked Andrew and felt comfortable enough with him to tell him, even after he had called out Riko and gotten her boyfriend killed. 

"How long do you think you can keep that up?" Andrew asked from the back of the line. Neil grit his teeth at the mocking cheer in Andrew's voice and forced the memory of their flight out of his mind. 

"Can you crash already?" 

"All in good time," Andrew promised. 

Neil was so determined to ignore him that he hardly noticed the differences in the weyr along the way to the stadium until he realized they were walking down a tunnel to get to the inner court instead of an open path. Neil couldn't see the crowd yet, but he could hear them, and he felt Tenith straining her neck to greet the small crowd of weyr folk that had just arrived from Palmetto Reaches to cheer for them. 

The echoing roar of excited voices drowned out his footsteps as he followed Dan and Kevin into the stadium. The stadium's seats were rapidly filling with green-clad fans. Enforcers dressed in Holder colors and uniformed staff were posted around the inner court and on each of the stairwells that cut up through the stands. 

The Terrapins were already settled on the right side of the weyr bowl, opposite the gathering Fox fans, and seemed to be ignoring them completely, even as the accompanying dragons who wouldn’t be flying swooped low overhead to drop off their riders before gliding away again. 

This Weyr’s First Wing was smaller than Breckenridge's, but still easily twice the Foxes' size. 

Neil twisted his fingers so tight around his riding belt, he heard the leather of his gloves creak against the metal mesh inside. "Any advice?" Neil asked. He didn't think he'd get an answer, but Kevin glanced over at him. 

"You're in for all of first half, so you have to pace yourself. I don't want you to force a score in the first twenty minutes unless the Queen’s right there in front of you. Pass, don't shoot. Keep the ball moving. When my replacement comes out, go as hard as you can with the people up front until the break. 

"You'll have halftime and the first twenty minutes of second half to rest. Get your wind back, center yourself with Tenith, then get back on the court, and give me everything you have focusing on us up front. If I think you're holding back just because your brain is tired I will throw you off the court myself and ground Tenith for another year. I want you dead on your feet when the final buzzer sounds." 

"What about Katelyn?” He wondered curiously, glancing up the line at her. 

“Don’t worry about her. Dan has her riding tagalong with Lynth. Just stay out of Lynth’s head and you won’t bump into her. She’s going to make sure Katelyn and Reli are standing with Wymack and Wy’Raun, so they can watch out for them.”

“Okay," Neil said. He knew it was a touchy subject, but he couldn't help asking, "Do you think Andrew's going to take his medicine for second half?" 

"No," Kevin said sourly. "He pushed the last dose up thirty minutes. He thinks he's going to ride it all the way to the end." 

Neil looked over his shoulder for Andrew, realizing now that he hadn’t even seen the blond go for his ‘pushed back’ dose yet. 

Last week Dan said Andrew timed his missed dose for a half-hour before serve. His energy started fading during warm-ups and he started the slow slide down right around when he hit the sky. The slump lasted maybe an hour and fifteen minutes tops before he started getting sick if he didn’t have something else to pump into his system. A match had two forty-five minute halves and a fifteen-minute break. 

Penalties and serves added a couple minutes to the clock. 

It didn't matter that Andrew had pushed the missed dose- even if it was to the actual first serve; the game was too long for him to hold out. Andrew had to know that, but he didn't look at all concerned. He was still riding his medicine's high and talking animatedly with Renee off to one side, his hand casually brushing at Ker’la’s blue flank.

"Bring it in, Foxes," Wymack called. Orange moved in his peripheral vision as Neil turned toward Wymack. 

Neil distractedly looked over as the Vixens as they - the pretty Holder girls who were mostly first and second daughters of the Lord Holders and alumni of the Harper college of Palmetto, or foster sisters of such- started to file into the stadium and take their places.

The cheerleaders' special seats were only twenty feet down from the last of the Foxes' three benches, but Neil couldn't hear their chatter over the rest of the noise, especially seeing the huge glass pane that separated them all. A couple of lower ranked and commoners of Belmont’s weyr shouted lewd remarks and gave wolf whistles. 

The girls completely ignored it in favor of checking each other's trimmed skirts and elegant hair. 

Because they were moving around so much, it was easy for Neil to see the one girl who was holding still just in front, separate but no less elegantly dressed despite the black leather riding gear she wore over her robes. Katelyn turned her handheld flag sporting the Palmetto flag over and over in her hands as she stared at the Foxes, letting the long banner twirl over her gold Reli’s neck even as she responded to one girl from her saddle, hardly even turning her head to do so.

"Hi Katelyn!" One of the other queens called as soon as their small pack landed, a shimmering half moon of golden among the garish orange of the Palmetto fans. She smiled brightly and waved back, her attention snatched just as easily as Aaron’s had been, Neil noticed, following the twin’s gaze from the holder girls over to the queens as Katelyn made her way over on a trotting Reli.

“See you after the game, Katelyn! Reli!!” Nicky yelled with an enthusiastic wave. Aaron elbowed him for that, but Katelyn only turned her bright smile over to them and waved back. Nicky gave Neil a wolfish grin as Neil stopped beside him, carefully grabbing onto Tenith and mounting up into the saddle for a better view. "Katelyn is Aaron's girlfriend." 

"She is not," Aaron said. "Knock it off." 

Neil considered that, remembering the way Aaron and Katelyn always seemed to be invited to the girl’s nights with him. He thought that they had just been roped in as well but if it was planned by Dan and the others and that really was true… but then why would Aaron want to hide that? Even Andrew had admitted once that his brown would grow so big that he could catch a queen one day. Why couldn’t that queen be Katelyn?

"She would be if you'd just ask her out," Matt said, turning to join in the conversation now. "What's the hold up?" 

"Oh." Andrew slapped his fist into his palm as if the answer had just occurred to him. He flashed Matt a wicked grin but answered in German. "Maybe he's afraid she'll die on him like the last woman he really loved." 

Suddenly Neil had an inkling exactly why it could not be her.

Aaron shot his brother a vicious look. "Fuck you." 

"Golden Queens, Andrew," Nicky complained. 

"I'm going to guess that was completely inappropriate," Matt said, looking between the cousins. "Do I want to know?" 

"Do you think we want to tell you?" Andrew asked in Common. 

"Stow that," Wymack said. "Last I checked this was a Wing meeting, not a gossip circle. We're in the sky in ten. Dan's going to lead you in a couple of laps to feel the air. If any of you so much as look at the Terrapins on your way past, I'll let you swim home from here. Good? Then get going." 

Dan and Lynth set the pace with Matt and Marthe at their side. The rest of the Foxes followed behind them in pairs. Neil expected to be left to warm up with the ground crew to run laps, and he wouldn't have minded, but the wing only gone a few steps when Andrew and Kevin moved. 

Andrew made a running jump up onto Yardith and the blue dragon did a sort of half flip around to circle Neil just long enough for Andrew to pull him out of his own saddle and up into Yardith’s. Neil didn’t even want to ask how Andrew knew he hadn’t been tethered to the saddle, and dared not ask.

Kevin picked up speed to make it to K’holinth and mounted him as well, pulling up at the same time and lifting up into the air almost in tandem. 

Neil looked over his shoulder at Andrew, then down to Tenith, who was burgling loudly in cheer as the rest of the fox fans cheered as well, excited to see the little display of aerial prowess already.

"If you trip over your own tail I won't pick you up," Kevin said. 

Neil faced forward and decided not to ask who he was talking to. 

It felt good to fly again, even after spending so long in the saddle, but Dan stopped them after two laps. They stretched by the benches until the referees signaled them to enter the sky in their invisible grid. Andrew dropped Neil off without a word and he hurried over to Tenith, hopping into her saddle again and hugging her neck as close as he could. It wasn’t that he was scared or nervous or anything. It was just that it was easier to concentrate on hopping between dragons when he was holding Tenith and knew she could support him. 

—Of course it is. I am the only one who can catch you when you fall if you fly with them like that.— she said almost too casually. 

“Yes, yes, I know. And I’m so grateful to have such a beautiful green by my side. I should praise the heavens with your name.” Neil could feel her beaming proudly, and the rumbling trill of her juvenile trumpet marked her laughter at his joke. 

— Naturally— she grinned in his mind, turning her head back to look at him with one large whirling green eye.— you were so worried about Andrew. Yardith says he will not leave, and they will fly together today. Yardith is VERY excited for that, and wants you to watch closely. It will be after you’re done, so you have no excuse—

“You and Yardith sure do talk a lot.”

— He is very kind to me, and fun to play with. He likes to play with you, too.—

“Does he? I thought he just had fun playing WITH me.”

—Yardith would never hurt you. You are Andrew’s.—

“How comforting, Tenith. I’m someone ELSE’S property again. I don’t really care for that idea, if I’m honest.”

—Fool Neil.— Tenith chided him, and Neil poured into her warm hide, knowing she could feel it more than see it as she ruffled her wings, repositioning them against her back.—Do you think Andrew doesn’t cherish you? You’re his precious Neil! No matter how much you scare him!—

“Scare…?” Now Neil sat up, eyes wide. “Tenith, that’s not funny—“

— What’s funny about this? Everyone Andrew loves leaves him, or hurts him. You will, too, but he can’t hold you close if you don’t want him to. He’s scared you’ll die like the fool you are and take me with you BETWEEN. I’m not scared of that, of course.— Tenith used her haughtiest mental voice and tilted her chin up to look down at Neil condescendingly. — But I would like to stay here with everyone and keep flying. That’s so much fun! And I like Andrew. He says he will protect you for as long as you let him!—

“This… why does he tell you these things?” Neil half whispered, half wondered in his mind. 

—He tells YOU, too! You just don’t listen to him! It’s not a secret! You’re just so scared, you won’t let him! You want him, as much as he wants you, and he’s yours to take! Fool Neil!— 

“Tenith—“ Neil started, but a bugle from above caught his attention and he saw Yardith staring down at them both. 

—Pay attention, Nathaniel— Andrew snapped in his mind, causing his cheeks to burn. Andrew was the only person Neil knew who could speak directly to him through his dragon, and he did it so casually! Clamping down on his stray thoughts, Neil repositioned himself on Tenith’s saddle and took a deep breath to calm down. 

— Come here— Yardith grinned down at him now, his mental voice sounding the same as Andrew’s even if Neil could tell who was who. 

Forcing his mind to the game about to start, Neil took one last deep breath before he let himself go and connected with Yardith. 

This time it was much easier, and he was flying with Yardith in no time.

“Welcome back,” Andrew cooed to him playfully now, and when he gave Yardith’s neck a stroke, Neil felt it in his mind, too. 

—Why can’t I touch Yardith but I can ride around inside his mind like this? Isn’t this worse?— Neil sighed. 

“No. Focus or I’ll kick you out. Isn’t this game the thing that’s so precious to you?”

—…— Neil wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He WAS there for Exy but Andrew made it sound like a dumb reason to be so excited. Neil knew Andrew hated the idea of a practice like this done just for sport when people would really start to die before the year was even up from the real deal, but to him it sounded like Andrew was poking at more. Then again… he was coming off of his medicine, and sometimes it seemed like he just liked to be contrite just to push Neil.

Dan broke formation and flew up on her beautiful Lynth to meet the Terrapin queen at half-court for a coin toss. Dan won their team first ‘serve’, so the Terrapins chose to start at home court. The announcer read off team statistics when the queens went back to their positions, each making an elaborate detour to fly low over the heads of the crowd and then up to ther Star Rocks, the stone structures positioned long ago to help each Weyr view the ominous Red Star of Pern and know exactly when Thread would start to fall. The Watch Dragon positioned there bugelled out to them and the crowds roared in response. 

The announcer called the Terrapin's starting line-up with over-the-top enthusiasm and introduced the Foxes with polite detachment. 

Neil was impressed despite himself, but the abrupt switch in tone was an effective reminder to the Fox wing: they were far from home and friendly territory. 

Neil relaxed with Yardith, allowing the dragon to focus in on the announcements and other players as they were introduced, and when the blue checked out the backliner called last, he let Neil know that that was the one Neil needed to focus on marking and keeping from the game. 

Herrera’s green had at least a whole foot wingspan on even Hemmi, and his tail was a foot longer as well, so he'd have a longer reach. Neil knew whoever he chose to battle that would have to settle for being faster and more cunning. Neil felt Yardith smile approvingly at him in his mind and watched the rest of his team join him. 

Allison didn't look at anyone as she went to the dealer's spot. Matt's Marthe brushed wings with her Rey'na he passed and settled onto far-fourth in a straight line back from Neil. 

Neil was glad to have Matt on 'his' side of the court, but he knew what it meant. Matt was the Foxes' strongest player, and Neil was the weaker half of offense, even if no one on the other team knew he was there. 

Matt was there to clean up behind Neil's inevitable messes as he hopped in and out of each dragon, nudging them here and there as a 'third' set of eyes.

Andrew was the last one announced, being the closest to the queen. He let Yardith spin and twist in his aerial square, and Neil wondered how playful the blue could get while still adhering to the rules of the game. 

He hardly had time to think much about it, though, as the whistle was blown and the game began.


	4. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil struggles through the game, but can't stop the ever burning question of WHY Andrew would put himself through such pain just to play when he says Exy isn't important to him anyway. When he finds out that his demons lurk in shadows closer than he first predicted, what will Neil's choice be?

The game started rough and didn't get easier. 

Neil tried to follow Kevin's advice but it was frustrating holding himself and the other dragons in check, even if it was really more like they were following the instructions of their riders and pulling back while Neil reassured them from inside not to jump no matter how antsy they were. 

He tried not to think too much about how similar the feeling was to just sitting in the weyr knowing a storm was brewing on the horizon and being told NOT to run for the hills, no matter the enemies building at the border. This was a game- a practice for the real deal of Thread falling at the end of the year. He wasn’t running from his problems in the air right now- he was outrunning and outsmarting the defense. He liked the rush of this- he enjoyed the feel of a perfect score and the pressure and the triumph. 

The REST of his life was a frightening mess, not this.

This was just Exy, and the only thing he needed to fight was the defense 

Neil needed the power and control of a fierce game. 

By the time he started to feel the mental fatigue of hopping from dragon to dragon, he was also starting to realize that his lessons with Kevin were paying off. Since the hatching, Neil spent four nights a week learning precision drills from Kevin, and after that, he spent hours until bedtime up in the air with Andrew and Yardith, working on every other skill under the sun. 

The Terrapins were leading three to one until Kevin scored at the twenty-three minute mark. All of the dragons paused as the referees conversed and Neil blinked back into himself, checking on Tenith and resting for as long as he dared. 

Wymack used the possession to send out his substitutions.

Neil wasn't inhabiting any dragon’s mind when the order was given, but he could FEEL Yardith’s mirth ripple through the wing and glanced up with Tenith’s near greed for a score hit his mind like a rocket. Quickly, he relaxed himself and flickered back to the first wing, settling in alongside K’holinth to see what was going on. 

"Destroy him," rumbled Lynth in the bronze’s head, and Neil honestly wasn’t sure he had ever felt anything like it before. It was similar to bloodlust only… more like battle craze? Tunnel vision? lt like K’holinth had been waiting for this all his life, and his QUEEN had just given him the order.

The game after that was fast paced and intense, and Neil understood why Kevin had demanded he train so hard, and insisted that he would be bone tired at the end. Even if he wasn’t doing anything other than watching out for the dragon’s backs as they darted around and played through the air, Neil was exhausted being on constant alert and forcing the dragons to react to their surroundings in split-second intervals without interfering with their riders’ commands. 

When Dan whooped at him, it was so loud it echoed off the court walls, alerting him to her gold’s whirling blue-green eyes being focussed down at him after a particularly risky play he helped with resulted in a goal. 

Neil slowly extricate himself from Ker’la’s mind and wheeled around. Dan swooped Lynth down and Neil felt the exhilaration as Tenith raised her still semi-transparent wings for them to brush at just the right angle as the huge dragon passed. 

The buzzer overhead cut Lynth off before she could do anything more than let out a fierce bugel of pride, but Neil was sure Tenith couldn’t even notice. Even if it was Neil doing all of the work, she radiated vengeful pride so much, he was sure she thought it was all because he was HER rider. 

Neil smiled quietly, having no doubt that she was absolutely correct.

He tilted his chin back up, intending to retrain his concentration on the dragons above, but Dan pulled his attention back to her. 

\--That was perfect-- she said through Lynth, then gave him a mental smack to the back of the head. Neil couldn't hide all of his wince as Lynth sent him a VERY vivid image of Dan putting her finger in his face. --But don't do something that reckless again. We can't replace you. Hear me?-- 

\--Yes, Dan.-- 

\--Good. Now let's show these bastards what's what.-- 

It was easier said than done, but they fought all the way to halftime. 

When the clock ran out they'd pushed the score to four-even. 

Wymack ushered his team off the court while their dragons wheeled around in the air and made their way to the far side of the weyr bowl for water from the lake, only adding to the chaos of a riled crowd. 

Wymack pointed the riders toward the locker room but stayed behind an extra minute to smile at the Harpers and lead Katelyn back across the field to the Holder girls she had been standing beside at the start of the game. 

Neil hadn’t actually DONE anything physical but it took every mental muscle he had left just to keep his left from shaking as he struggled to make it to the locker room with the rest of the team. 

The Foxes spread out into a loose circle in the locker room to shed extraneous gear and stretch, and Neil noticed that Abby was nowhere to be found. More likely than not, she was out by the lake checking on the dragons and would be in to check on their riders as soon as they were settled. 

That was the first rule you learned as a dragon rider- your dragon ALWAYS came first. If you were both injured, you sucked up YOUR injuries and tended to them first and foremost, convincing them the whole while that you were perfectly fine and would last forever and a day, if only to see their tiniest scratch lathered in numbweed and sewed up with the gentlest of Harper hands.

The riders themselves looked beat but sounded lively, no doubt excited about their comeback as well as keeping themselves peppy for their dragon’s sake. They chatted about their quick thinking plays, sounding cautiously hopeful for the second half as they carefully avoided talk about injuries. Dan and Matt were even laughing about something rude a striker had said to Matt. 

Neil looked around the circle at them, soaking up their enthusiasm, but his attention caught and held on Andrew before long. 

Neil had seen Andrew go through withdrawal before, but not like this. 

It had always been late at night when exhaustion had set in or down in Columbia with drugs and alcohol to soften the edge. In those sorts of backdrops Neil couldn't really appreciate the dead stage Andrew went through. 

Everyone warned Neil that Andrew didn't care about Exy, but some part of Neil refused to believe that. The pieces didn't add up right, especially when Andrew willingly came off his euphoric drugs for games. 

Something strange was going on. 

But Andrew stood a silent stone in their midst, looking a thousand miles away from all of this, even if Neil knew he wasn’t talking with Yardith. 

He was a vacuum his teammates' rowdy cheer couldn't touch. 

"Stop it." Neil didn't mean to say it. He didn't even realize he'd spoken until his teammates' conversations petered off. 

Dan and Matt sent him curious looks, and Neil could feel Tenith searching his mind and piecing together his thoughts to understand the sudden spike in distress. 

Renee glanced between Neil and Andrew, whereas Aaron didn't look up at all. Kevin put it together faster than anyone save Tenith, since he felt the same nauseous anger toward Andrew's apathy. The look he flicked Andrew was accusatory. 

Andrew slid a bored look Neil's way. "I'm not doing anything." 

"Exactly," Neil wanted to say, but he knew it was a senseless argument. He didn't have the right words for that gnawing feeling in his stomach and it was his fault for being so naïve. He gave a frustrated shake of his head and let it drop, instead opting to let his mind focus on comforting Tenith. 

Nicky opened his mouth, hesitated as he reconsidered his words, and then clapped a hand on Neil's shoulder in either comfort or encouragement. 

He left his hand there but directed his too-cheerful words at the rest of the team. "Hey, so we're actually doing much better than I thought we would." Wymack chose that moment to walk in and he scowled at Nicky's words. 

"If you really think that, I’m gonna have to revaluate your place on first wing before Threadfall. This kind of game isn't going to work for us, and today is the last time I'll tolerate it. You have got to start creating point gaps in the first half- and that’s going to translate into LESS burrows at the leading edge of Thread. You need that cushion and your dragons need that confidence when it's your second wind against the last few hours, then again for clean up. This is just a game now, so it’s just scoring more than they are right now, and keeping your energy until second half, but you have to remember this isn’t just some game- it’s practice for the real thing." 

"He's right," Dan said, all golden and regal in the blink of an eye. "We need to push harder earlier. We hold back because we're trying to pace ourselves for a long night, but playing catch-up is a killer, and it WILL kill come Threadfall. Holding back just because you’re tired or want to last longer is going to let Thread through, and Palmetto can’t afford burrows. It’ll devour our island faster than we can flame it out if we let it fester. We need to play smarter and balance this out somehow." 

Wymack nodded and looked across the room. "Andrew?" 

"Present," Andrew said. 

Wymack interpreted that unhelpful response however he wanted to and snapped his fingers at his team. "Come on, stretch it out. Your dragons should be just about done by now, so it’s your turn." He walked a couple steps away and called down the hall, "Abby?" 

"Coming," Abby said from out of sight, and showed up carrying two jugs. One had water, the other a chilled honey drink that would help revitalize them for the second half. 

She poured some of each for the Foxes and made rounds to pass them out. 

She came to Neil last and stayed with him, settling down on the unmarked stone bench beside him and reaching up to feel the tenseness of his neck and shoulders under his leather armor. "How are you doing?" 

Neil drained both cups before answering, thankful she hadn’t skipped over him even if he wasn’t actually up in the air.

"I'm fine." 

Nicky fist-pumped in triumph. "Thank you for being so predictable, Neil. You just scored me ten bucks with two words." 

Matt looked up. "Are you serious? Who the hell bet against you?"

Nicky jerked a thumb at Kevin. 

"There's a sucker born every minute." 

Kevin looked furious, but that anger was directed at Neil. "You are an idiot. Your dragon is EVERYTHING. If you’re tired, if you’re hurting- if you can’t take it, you tell her. You ALWAYS put your dragon first. Have you ever thought that maybe she has something to reduce stress or help dragon men in particular?" 

“But I didn’t actually DO anything.”

"Mental injuries are not a joke. They are not something to gloss over. No injuries are. If you get hurt out there, you do something about it. You take it easy, you have Coach pull you, you ask Abby for help—I don't care. If you ever say 'I'm fine' about your health again I will make you rue the day you were born, much less met Tenith. Are we clear?" 

Neil opened his mouth, thought better of arguing, and said, "We're clear." 

"I did warn you," Dan said, unsympathetic. "I think Kevin's threats are more effective though." 

Abby eyed Neil. "I'll ask again, then. Are you okay?" 

"I'm—" It was too automatic a response; Neil bit it off when Kevin took a threatening step forward. He huffed in annoyance and dug for a better answer. Tenith was so helpful, he wished she was nearby so he could give her all the eye ridge scritches she could take!. "My brain is just sore. I feel like it’s been yanked back and forth- and I can’t stop seeing flashes of color, like I’m still flying… My right eye keeps twitching… and it’s a little harder to see from that side with most of the dragons. So long as I can keep my mark off my right side I'll be—okay." 

Matt laughed at the near-miss. "I don't see this experiment ending well, Neil." 

Abby gave him a pointed look, but then turned back to Neil. “That’s not completely unhead of. Sometimes it happens when you’re with your dragon and they get injured. I saw that nasty right hit earlier in the game- were you riding along when Herrera slammed in?” she asked, and Neil nodded. “It’s a phantom pain- your neurons firing off to try to heal and protect against the pain the dragon actually IS feeling from that hit. Because your body is just fine, your brain doesn’t know how to deal with it and is giving off chemicals to try to heal things it doesn’t need to. It’s one of the most common problems for dragon riders. Try to fly with Tenith until it’s time to go back up, and make sure to take careful note of her body. Since she’s closer to you- your OWN dragon, it will override and resset your brain, so you’ll know that you really aren’t hurt. Tenith is fine, and so are you.” Abby urged him quietly. 

Neil wanted to point out that he couldn’t fly with Tenith yet, but when he glanced up, Andrew was looking in his direction. Not AT him, but close enough. He nodded silently, looking away.

"Some people are just hardwired to be stupid," Wymack said. "Now stop yapping and listen up. We have a lot to get through."

Wymack started with the run down of the second half as soon as all attention was on him again, and Neil carefully listened, determined to at least hear this before he dove headfirst into Tenith’s being. 

By the time everyone was back on the field and up in the air, mounted on their dragons and waiting for the referee to call the start of the second half, he was happy to admit that he did feel a lot better. More… Himself? It was ironic, since he really had only been making himself feel more TENITH than anything the whole time. Still, as soon as he was back in his own body and taking stock of the first wing, it seemed all of the worries he had had before the whole game started came rushing back. 

"Why does Andrew do this?" Neil asked, unable to stay quiet any longer. "If he doesn't care about Exy, what's the point of going through this every Friday?" 

"Would you want to be crazy high every day of your life?" Matt asked, leaning over Marthe’s side and half asking the question through their mental link rather than yell over at Neil. 

"He spends the entire time winding down and getting sick," Neil said. "Is it worth it?" 

"Maybe it is," Renee said with a smile from Ker’la’s saddle. "You'll see." 

Something about that made Neil VERY nervous.

The foxes won by a miracle play from Yardith and Ardanth, and Neil had to reassure Tenith for the second time that sound really could not get loud enough to shatter bone- not here- even if it felt like it.

Matt's triumphant roar was echoed and magnified by Marthe, Wy’Rhaun, and Lynth nearly harmonizing alongside him and Neil looked up, needing to see the final score to believe it. Relief was almost enough to shake him from Tenith’s saddle despite his straps, but the heady rush of victory pouring off of each and every dragon in the first wing put the breath back in his lungs. He looked across the court for Kevin and his bronze K’holinth, but Kevin was already dismounted and striding toward the goal and the bellowing golden queen.

Neil turned a bit more in his saddle so he could see Andrew again, but the sight waiting for him took some of the edge off his excitement. 

Andrew was half slumped just held upright in his saddle with his helmet still pulled down low over his face to shield his face as Yardith hovered just above the ground. It was eerie how he could just hold himself there, even if there seemed to be no wind at all. 

Neil heard Dan and Lynth’s excited voices as the subs were allowed onto the ground court after the other dragon’s had landed, but he didn't wait for his teammates to catch up with him. 

He leaned forward and Tenith darted like a green bullet, snaking and twisting through the crowd after Kevin until she reached the goal right after Kevin did. 

Kevin didn't have to ask what was going on. 

He'd lied to cameras for years and he knew how to buy Andrew time, and Neil was astonished at how great a job Dan and Lynth were doing it as well.

The gold spread her wings up and out, shaking them as the sun glinted off of them and music began to rise up from the Harpers and the celebrations started, easily grabbing everyone’s attention as Karelyn and the other Holder girls and younger queens all surrounded her, making a miniature golden sun among the quickly forming crowd in the center of the weyr bowl, even as every Palmetto bronze in attendance quickly circled up around them in a ring of protection, their wings also spreading on Lynth’s silent command.

Kevin stopped in front of Yardith as the blue finally touched down and lowered himself to his haunches. Neil watched as the bronze reached for Andrew's riding straps, adding to the illusion that Andrew was fiddling with them to try and free himself and get down. Andrew let go of the leather with one hand and gestured. Kevin gestured back as if they having an actual conversation. The only sound either of them made was the desperate gasp of air through clenched teeth as Andrew tried not to get sick in front of the crowd.

Neil was more disturbed by the silence between them and their dragons. 

Kevin undid the most complicated of the riding straps, then reached down to unclip Andrew’s boots. Neil winced at the sight of Andrew all but slumping from the saddle and down into Kevin’s waiting arms, but the blond didn’t fight him. He didn’t even make an attempt to swing. The rest of the first wing fell in around them, bringing the celebration to their beloved wingmates and forming an impromptu barricade around their fallen goalkeeper. 

Matt smacked shoulders and helmets in excitement and bared his teeth in a jaw-breaking grin. 

"That's how we do it! That's how we do it, Foxes!" 

Andrew let go of Kevin at long last and got to his own feet, but he was obviously unsteady. Neil expected him to fall, but Nicky slung an arm around Andrew's shoulders and yanked Andrew close to him. It let him take some of Andrew's weight without it being too obvious what he was doing. 

Andrew looked ready to say something about the unasked-for help- and Neil wondered what made it okay for Kevin but not for Nicky- but Nicky didn't give him a chance to argue. He pumped his fist and whooped. "That was awesome! We are going to own this season!" 

"That was sloppy," Kevin said as he shifted off his helmet and gloves. "We barely had it."

"Oh, shut up, sour face," Nicky said. "Save your grouching for the ride back and stop spoiling our moment of glory." 

"Seriously." Matt gave Kevin's helmet a vigorous rub. "Would it kill you to smile when no one's paying you to?" 

"Come on," Dan said, and Lynth gave a proud bugel to draw the attention of the Palmetto weyr to her, a whole dragon’s length away from the riders of the first wing. "Let's give these guys our condolences and get out of here." 

The wing shuffled into line as fast as they could, and the Terrapins grudgingly formed their own line further down the court. They passed each other, slapping hands, then crossing their arms so that one fist rested above their hearts before turning to salute towards the Star Stone and offering a chorus of 

"For Pern!” that would have been much more fitting had they actually survived a Threadfall together instead of just flickering around in the sky trying to catch baskets of ribbons. 

The Foxes filed off the ground court as quickly as they could and swarmed their weyrleader. 

Andrew broke away in the commotion and set off for the locker room, and Neil noticed how Tenith was right beside him, one wing half extended as if to shield him from the sun now that she was tall enough. She had to tuck it in to go inside, but Neil felt an odd mixture of relief and… 

He turned his attention away, knowing he could do nothing about it right now. 

Instead, he focussed on the weyrleader. Neil had never seen Wymack smile like this. It was small but fierce, as angry as it was proud. "That's more like it. Draw straws and figure out who's helping me fend off the Harpers. The rest of you get your sticky, stinky asses to the showers. We'll talk shop on the bus." 

"Renee and I will handle it," Dan said as they headed to the locker room.

"Neil, you can use the girls' shower while we're busy." Neil stared at her. 

"What?" Dan frowned at him, so Matt explained. "There aren't stalls here." Neil had noticed, but he hadn't thought his teammates would. That they had, and that they were doing something about it, knocked the wind out of him. 

He tried to answer, but he didn't know what to say. The best he managed was, "Is that really okay?" 

"Kid, you're killing me," Nicky said. "Why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?" 

"It's really okay," Dan promised, ignoring Nicky and looking Neil directly in the eyes. Neil tried to thank her, but she waved it off with a breezy, "Nope. None of that. Go. Just go!” 

Neil nodded, thankful that she was so willing to brush it off but knowing that he would have to pay her back or it just wouldn’t feel right for him.

By the time everyone was back safe and sound in Fox Weyr, Neil realized that though Andrew had been silent the whole ride and pretty much just held on by way of his straps and leaning against Neil’s back, he was in no way worse for ware. Tenith had been strapped to Wy’Rhaun for the return trip, and mostly just chatted with Katelyn’s gold Reli the whole way, and Neil had time to relax and enjoy dipping in and out of her consciousness as his own mind rested. He was surprised how easy it was to go in and out now, though he would never admit that each time he successfully managed to merge, it was with the thought of Andew and Yardith’s echoing ‘trust me’ in the back of his mind. 

Maybe that was why he lingered after all of the dragons’ harnesses were put away and they were all taken down to the mineral pools for baths. Tenith was well praised, oiled, and bathed, and when she and Reli insisted they were ravenous after such a long flight, Aaron and Nicky suggested they would help take them. 

Katelyn just happened to tag along, for Reli.

Neil was tempted to as well, but now that he knew just about everyone was in on Aaron and Katelyn’s dating secret, he did not want to be left alone with Nicky, no matter how the green seemed to think that one little apology was going to make everything right. When he started to head towards the weyr opening, though, he almost wished that he had. 

Andrew and Renee were walking close together, whispering between each other animatedly. Andrew looked fine, but something about his mood told Neil that he wasn’t on Felicity.

Thinking to escape an awkward walk back slowly trailing the couple, Neil decided to turn the other direction and make a run of it. He needed to stretch his legs anyway, and going back around and down to the Misty Sands would land him closer to Abby’s Den and even if he HAD just taken one, he was never opposed to hopping into another shower. He could sneak in, borrow some robes from her, and then take his time re-dying his hair before going for dinner. Maybe he would spend some time with Tenith before bed. Today had been pretty mentally straining, but now that the game was over, Neil was feeling restless.

He knew that was bad for his own internal thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was end up trailing back to thinking about Andrew and Renee.

Maybe that was why he was so startled to step out of his shower and find Andrew there in Abby’s Den, setting down a fresh pair of clothes for him. The blond didn’t even look up when Neil froze at the door, towel now clutched between nearly white knuckles. 

“Did you forget? I already know what you look like.” Andrew took his time carefully picking out the under shirt from the pile of clothes, then the underwear. When he finally glanced over at Neil, his eyes lingered on his hair, then narrowed in on his eyes. Neil purposely looked away, knowing that Abby’s special soap had washed most of the Sightroot and a lot of the hair dye away. He not looked like he had a slightly rusty brown hair and his eyes were bordering on a corlor Neil didn’t dare describe to himself.

“How did you know I was here?” Neil asked instead of trying to confront Andrew about his looks.

“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are. Any time you see me with Renee, you turn and run the other way. After seeing you start running, I figured your clean nature would override and… that…” Andrew took a step closer and motioned to Neil’s hair. 

“Abby’s soap…” Neil tried, not really knowing what to say to Andrew. He knew why Neil dyed his hair. He knew WHO Neil was! If Neil didn’t dye his hair, anyone could see him and know who his father was- not that many people of Pern had the trademark red hair, and with no Sightroot or hair dye, Neil looked just like his father!

“Yes, yes, I know you’re a coward running away from your past.” Andrew waved a hand and held out the underclothes for Neil to change into. “But I wondered if you’re running away from it to protect yourself, or those around you?”

“What kind of question is that? The people I’m running from are the ones who involve those around me- you told me to stay, and that it wouldn’t be a problem. You would protect the people around me- all of Palmetto--” Neil started.

“I did. And I am. But I also asked you to fight.” Andrew shrugged as he took a seat, watching as Neil started to dress. He wanted to feel embarrassed by Andrew’s eyes on him, but something about them screamed that he was using a more critical eye than just trying to check Neil out and that made it infinitely less embarrassing and more nerve-wracking.

“Andrew…”

“I’m sick and tired of watching you slink around here, ducking and dodging every little spook and scare as if they can actually hurt you. You’ve survived this long on your own- and even longer with your mother. You’re the butcher’s son. Do you really think that anyone who knows this doesn’t know you’re already bloody? We all know who you are.” Andrew leaned forward, and handed Neil the pants. He noticed that they were a deep blue, trimmed with a lighter grey. Not anything like the usual style Andrew seemed to enjoy. 

Neil’s heart started to pound in his chest, but he pulled the pants on anyway, drawing the laces up the front securely. “I have never hurt an innocent person. Anybody that… Anyone who fell by my hand would have killed me first.”

This seemed to please Andrew, and he finally handed over the tunic and sash, a lazy smile playing on his lips. “I know. That’s why you’re coming with me tonight.”

“Where? Are you okay to go anywhere, after today? You’re not on your medicine-” Neil started, hurrying to pull on the last of his clothes. As he pulled the tunic over his head, Andrew stood and walked over to him. 

“You kept asking me why, why, why, and you just seemed so damn worried about me…” Now, Andrew slapped Neil’s hands away from the sash he was looping into a lazy knot and undid it. He carefully lined it up, tucking Neil’s tunic into place before he started to wrap it properly. Neil purposely looked behind Andrew now, determined not to let his mind race. He had no idea where this situation was going, or why Andrew so insisted on helping him. “I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and SHOW you why. Exy isn’t important to me. I don’t care if we win or lose a game- it’s just ribbon in the wind.”

“You know, I would love it if you just gave me a straight answer for once instead of riddling around.” Neil finally snapped, his nervousness riling him more than it should. He could feel Andrew’s hands stop and his eyes snap up. Almost savagely, the blond reached up and yanked his chin down until they were eye to eye.

“Then you give ME a straight answer for once. Will you or will you not fight with me to protect Palmetto?” 

Neil swallowed hard, and Andrew narrowed his eyes for a moment before he let go, letting his hands go back to Neil’s sash, where he had added a matching braided sash cord and was making an intricate bow with it. Neil wondered if that was necessary, but then he noticed that Andrew was wearing a nearly identical outfit.

“At Impression, there was a man who knew you.” 

Neil remembered, but couldn’t have placed the man if he tried. 

He also remembered that Andrew had gone off with the man and came back with wet sleeves and the scent of the ocean.

“There have been a couple of other people who have been lurking around the docks looking for you, too. It seems that after that, your little stunt with the boat from Columbia drew more attention than you thought it would, and then Rico’s appearance at the Harper Hall and your induction as a dragon man made a few ripples. People took notice of your handsome face, and remembered you.”

“Are they here?” Neil felt his blood run cold, but Andrew made no move to comfort him.

“I’ve been dealing with them. With Renee’s help, we even got them talking, and learned that they weren’t just here for you. We have traitors in Palmetto. People stealing our goods and selling them to an unknown buyer from the docks. It didn’t take too much more digging to realize that the goods being stolen are goods that would be a HUGE help to a small hold just starting out, and the traitors selling our goods are the same ones who’ve been on Wyrleader’s watch list anyway. Not full members of the hold yet, but with just enough access to do damage.” Andrew continued.

“Renee…?” Neil remembered how she had come back from ‘sparring’ with Andrew. Had that been a lie…? Or did they really spar, just for situations like this?

“Keep up, Neil. Stupid isn’t cute on you either,” Andrew snapped. “We found out that the same ones who are selling our goods are also the ones who were sold on coming in and taking Seth out. Rico never had to send in his own men, and having insiders take him out explains why no one saw anyone suspicious. They were using our own people against us. We have a good weeding process for the ex-criminals here, and most of them really are trying to go the golden route and follow the law, but ever so often we have a handful of idiots we need to cut off at the root before the infection spreads.”

Now, Andrew looked up again, and let his hands trail from the finished knot up Neil’s front and around his neck. “So, I’m asking you.” Neil suppressed a shiver as Andrew ran his fingers through the still damp hair at the base of his neck. “Are you going to fight with me? Or keep running from your problems like a little bitch?”

Neil swallowed hard and considered. If he fought, usually that was followed by booking it out of there immediately- the location was no longer safe. He had left a trail. 

But Andrew was asking him to fight and stay. 

“What’s your plan?” he asked after a moment, and this time he couldn’t hold back the shiver that raced down his spine when Andrew’s fingers tightened into fists and he was pulled down to press their foreheads together.


	5. Murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil finally commits, and deals with the reality of that decision with Andrew’s help.
> 
> Trigger warning ;
> 
> There is murder in this, and Andrew and Neil start to deal with the emotions that brings up.

Neil couldn’t believe what Andrew had told him. 

Here he was, hiding-but-not-hiding at Palmetto, in the Fox Weyr with his yearling dragon, pretending to be a fledgling dragonman and Andrew had told him that they were going to go and do something to jeopardise it all. In order to protect it all.

But succeeding meant going back.

Not just going back to a time in his life when he wasn’t a dragonman. 

Not just going back to a time in his life when he wasn’t on the run. 

Succeeding meant going back to all of those years when he was learning lessons from his father. 

Succeeding meant taking those lessons to heart and using them, just as they were intended.

Only… 

What Andrew had told him didn’t really line up with what Neil’s father had told him- what Nathaniel’s father had told him.

Andrew had told him to take the weapon and use it, just like his father had. But Andrew didn’t want to take anything from anyone. Not really. What Andrew wanted to do was to take BACK what was his own. What belonged to him in the first place. 

Neil’s father just wanted him to take and take and take even what wasn’t his. Especially what wasn’t his. 

Andrew just wanted to protect his own. 

Still…

“These men… You’ve been finding them since my Impression…?” Neil asked, glancing behind himself to Andrew and biting his lower lip. Andrew reached forward and tugged his chin, making the lip come from between his teeth.

“Not since your Impression. Since before your Impression, but the first one I got a hold of was at your Impression. I got enough answers from him that night that I was able to track down his friends.” Andrew ran his hand back around Neil’s neck and let his fingers run through the hair at the back of his head. “I tracked them down to the docks. Which was why I was so disappointed in you for not realizing that you could literally ask anyone ELSE to take you back to the island from Colombia.” 

“Seriously? You never told me that- how in the hell was I supposed to know that? How is that my--” Neil started, only to wince when Andrew tightened his grip and pulled his hair.

“For someone so damn smart, you sure are dumb. If you want to track a runaway, you do it by the docks, and through the dragonmen. The least you could have done was put up some sort of disguise…” Andrew loosened his grip and ran his fingers in small circles, massaging Neil’s scalp. “Then again… I suppose this has been good enough for you so far, hadn’t it…?” 

“Not anymore, I guess…” Neil murmured. 

“Mmm…” Andrew let his eyes run over Neil and the green had to suppress a shiver. When a small grin threatened to pull across Andrew’s lips, he swallowed hard, and waited for the blue rider to continue. “I’ll let you keep it a little longer… But it won’t do you any good when Rico sees you again. He already KNOWS who you are.”

“Wow. Thank you so much.” Neil couldn’t hide his sarcasm, and the grin on Andrew’s face shifted into a smirk. 

“You’re so cute when you’re sassy.” Andrew let his hand drop and Neil tried hard not to read too much into it. “But I need you to focus, instead of derailing me. The reason I mentioned the docks in the first place was because the man who approached you at Impression has friends who work there. I noticed some things were off, especially with Darbi’s stocks. Asking around let me know that it wasn’t just her orders that were coming in short, or going missing soon after arriving. Nearly every large business around the island has had problems, and an outsider we never saw before came to Impression without a weyrling to support but could recognize you and made a straight line for you as soon as he got close enough. That lets me know that not only is he from outside, but he has detailed and recent information on the inner workings of the weyr. Questioning him let me in on a lot of information that even the Lord Holder doesn’t know about.”

“There are people working with them outside of the island? Why? Because of me?” Neil worried. 

“Narcissist. Not because of you. I told you- They’ve been working since before Impression, which was the first time anyone outside of the First Wing and Darbi even met you. And it’s not unusual for an Island to work with people outside of itself. It’s the only way we can survive. We NEED Imports AND Exports. Palmetto produces a lot of things that are unique to this island and people pay a lot of money for. We use that money to buy things we can’t produce for ourselves. Food. Some clothing. Materials for building and survival. Our dragons provide a lot of services all over the island and for the surrounding communities as well. Basic economy, Nathaniel. You should know this.” Andrew smirked again.

“I do,” Neil wasn’t sure if he was irritated that Andrew felt the need to remind him of his past as the Master Butcher’s son or not, but he did appreciate the nod Andrew gave him.

“People like him are taking advantage of that need, though, and the fact that this island is made up of past criminals who not only know how to swindle and smuggle, and who might not be able to pass up the opportunity to do it again to get a headstart in a new land that won’t keep questioning them once they’ve been proven to really want a better start for themselves.” Now, Andrew frowned and narrowed his eyes as Yardith banked right just enough to keep on the current of air high above the docks, his blue scales blending in flawlessly into the night sky, leaving nothing but the absence of stars as evidence of his presence. 

“There was a group of new hopefuls for the island who came in a few months ago. They’re still on probation, but that wasn’t enough to keep them from doing whatever they want. Seems like they have all the money they need, despite being half Shunned, and half nobodies from nowhere. Paying for silence only works for people who aren’t loyal,though, and most people here are IMMENSELY loyal to Palmetto, even if not to the Foxes. Seeing criminals doing the same things that they’re trying to run away from and start a new life without makes the islanders here resentful towards them, so it was more than easy to find out who the traitors were. They’re posing as dock workers and farm hands- menial laborers who aren’t trusted with much more than hauling and heavy lifting. Still, they have enough ins and knowledge amongst themselves to figure out how to take advantage of us.

“They’ve been stealing supplies and pirating incoming shipments, and I think I know which captain is behind it. If not, I’m still confident that even just disrupting their operation and letting them know that dragons are watching them will be great. And give us reason to bring it up at council with evidence.”

“But…” Neil winced as he felt Yardith level out and all but float in the air again, wings unmoving yet somehow holding the air underneath to keep them hovering. “If we go down there and attack them like you said, the evidence will be against us. We will be the murderers. Yardith… Your probation. You’re not even supposed to be off your Felicity right now.”

“Coward. Runaway.” Andrew spat the words and Neil swallowed hard. “Don’t tell me I have to add snitch to that list?”

“I’m not saying-”

“Then FIGHT, like you said you would!” Andrew growled. “The only way there would be anyone left to tell would be if you were too cowardly to even finish the job you said you wanted to help me with in the first place. I know once I go down there, I’m going to take out anyone who stands in my way. As far as I’m concerned, if you know there are stolen goods being loaded onto a ship and you still hang around helping, then you’re guilty. If you can stand back and be more worried about being caught when I’ve told you time and time again that I’ll protect you than you are about the people who are actually stealing from you and your dragon and your island, then I don’t want or need you anymore.”

Neil swallowed hard as he felt Andrew stare at him.

“Are you going to run away again? I need an answer that’s not wishy-washy, and I need it now.”

“I’m not going to run away.”

“Then are you going to fight?” 

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I’m going to fight, Andrew.”

“Then stop complaining and listen to me. I know you’re just playing dumb and trying hard to weasle your way out, but I need someone to come with me and fight with me and I chose you.” Andrew’s voice was low and even, and held that authority that always made Neil feel… calm? He supposed that was a word for it, if he had to choose just one.

“You can’t just say that and expect me to change overnight.” He tried one last time, even if he knew Andrew was doing his best to force him to make good on his earlier promise. Andrew reached forward and forced him to half turn to look back at him.

“We worked on trust. All I need you to do is trust me. I CAN just say ‘trust me’ and expect you to do it.”

Neil fell silent. He knew it was true. He knew, and he understood that there was no reason for him to be so rebellious, and yet here he was, trying to weasel his way out because that was what he was so used to.

“So, I need you to come down here with me, kill all the traitors, interrogate the last one or two people left alive- which is hopefully the captain- and then come home with me. Can you do that?” Andrew asked, refusing to let Neil look away. 

Neil tried to anyway, until Andrew leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together.

Finally, the green rider stilled, and took a deep breath, calming down and forcing himself to commit. “Yes.”

“Good,” Andrew smiled, and the fingers at the back of Neil’s head loosened so that he could finally look away. He bit his bottom lip as he turned, though, and Andrew caught his chin again. He froze as the blond stared down at his mouth, and swallowed hard when he realized that Andrew wouldn’t say anything at all. He was waiting for Neil to do what he knew he should. Self consciously, he released his lip, and watched as Andrew licked his own. “Good.”

“...” Neil forced himself not to draw attention to anything he was doing and instead settle in to listen to Andrew’s plan.

“There’s a shipment going off tonight. If we catch them when they pull off, we can get them red handed. We’re going to get them as soon as they’re finished loading everything.” 

“And kill everyone on board?”

“That’s my plan.”

“And then what?”

“Then we get rid of the bodies, and give the goods back, of course.”

Neil frowned softly and leaned away from Andrew enough to frown back at him from the saddle. 

“You look like this is the first time you’re encountering a calculating serial murderer.” Andrew grinned.

“You know, you’re right. I really should NOT be surprised, considering it’s you.” Neil pressed his lips together, but didn’t bite his bottom lip this time. He watched as Andrew watched him, though, and wondered if Andrew would end up kissing him soon or not.

He quickly forced that thought away, and chided himself for even thinking about it in the first place.

“Okay, you gave your plan, but we have no idea what the layout of this ship is, or how many people are on board or what the shipments are. How are we going to fight all of the people that it takes to man a ship, all by ourselves?” Neil wondered now.

“Listen to Yardith.” Andrew grinned, and Neil could feel it more than see it, when Yardith nudged him playfully.

“Oh…” he murmured as the image of the ship’s blueprints manifested in his mind, a memory from Andrew to Yardith just to transmit down to Neil. Then, just as easily, Yardith swiveled his long neck down and aimed his eyes down at the boat. Neil could see just as clear as day through his eyes, and realized that Yardith could tell exactly how many people there were. Above deck, anyways. This was so much easier than Neil would have expected!

“Yes. ‘Oh’. Now, come on. I’ll have Yardith drop us on the docks and we can board.”

“I don’t have weapons.”

“I saw that.” 

“...” Neil frowned down at his hands, already remembering the feel of hot and sticky blood between his fingers.

“I won’t let you go in unarmed, even if you are just a pretty fool.” Andrew was laughing again, and Neil wondered if it really did make him that happy, to tease and joke like this. He didn’t have too much time to mull over the answer, though, as Andrew gave the order for Yardith to swoop down. 

Before Neil knew it, they were already standing on the docks, both armed and all but marching towards the boat. 

He could already smell the coppery tang of blood in the air.

One blink, and it seemed like they were on the deck. 

The feeling of red hot blood splashing across his face intensified and Neil blinked hard to clear his mind.

Another blink, and they were coming up on the first smuggler.

“Hey! What the hell, who are you?!” someone called, and the smuggler they were walking up to so casually span around, eyes wide and short sword drawn far too quickly.

“Drop your weapons!” Another voice called.

“Fuck you!” Andrew sang back and Neil was once again shocked at how quickly he could move. 

The slow-motion scene didn’t seem to care for continuity at this moment, however, and time sped up to nearly double the speed. Neil watched as the short sword flew from the first man’s hand, and narrowed his eyes as another man raced forward. The glint of metal in the bright moonlight forced him to move, and his own dagger was out and wet within seconds. 

Neil had admittedly been hesitant- even reluctant- to take the twin daggers when Andrew had presented them as soon as Yardith dropped them off and all but floated back up, silent as the deep dark night. They were beautifully carved with JUST enough of a curve to leave a wickedly lethal wound that would be too hard to close, especially if twisted. The hilts were twin laughing foxes, their mouths opened to savor the blood that dripped down from their enemies. 

Now, he was more than happy to have them, especially as he spotted a second man already stabbing down towards Andrew, who had taken down his first victim but couldn’t turn fast enough to block this new man with Neil’s first victim’s body in the way. Shoving hard on the chest of his first smuggler, Neil dislodged his first dagger and made the incoming attacker stumble back. Taking advantage, Neil rushed forward and knocked the swinging blade away with a bloody fist before he stabbed down into the man’s exposed neck. Gurgling filled the air, but Neil stabbed in a second time to end it before swiping out and spinning around. He had felt more than saw the man that was trying to come up behind him and got a lucky slash across his face. 

Neil had just enough time to see the white of the man’s exposed cheek bone before he noticed Andrew’s blade jutting out of one side of the man’s neck, the hilt lodged firmly in the other.

The duo had just enough time to take a breath as they heard a strong voice start to yell, and Neil could only assume he was the captain from the way he snapped out his orders. Neil’s very first smuggler was still groping at his chest where Neil had stabbed him, but that hadn’t prevented him from grabbing his sword again and struggling to his feet. Carelessly, Andrew flicked his blade and watched as the man went tumbling down before he stepped over the corpse.

“Good job, handsome,” the green dragon rider encouraged playfully, even as Neil tried hard to catch his breath, mind still reeling. 

How was Andrew okay with this?!

How was any of this okay?! 

Neil didn’t have time to cope.

Another five men were barreling towards them, and the man who Neil was sure was the captain was running in the opposite direction, towards a door that no doubt led below deck.

Neil didn’t have time to even THINK.

He saw Andrew twirling the blades in his hands and heard him laughing in taunt. There was no other choice. Andrew had made their goal clear, and Neil was in battle mode right now. They had to interrogate the captain and kill all the rest, and the captain was the one who was giving the directions. If anything, he had to ensure that they got the captain to keep them from pulling away from the dock. Neil was sure that if they did, Yardith could just swoop down and get them, but it would be a hassle to get them back to the dock and unload the goods, then. 

He took off, blades out and swinging to deter anyone from catching him. Three men tried, but one got his outstretched fingers detached from his body and the other two got stabbed viciously in passing. By the time Neil was past them, the captain had already made it to the door and Neil could see just beyond it to the stairwell he had suspected was there. The green rider was just fast enough to stab the fleeing man, but the captain was much larger than Neil and shoved him hard back up the single step he had taken down.

Neil was just lucky enough to avoid his own blade then, but spared no time snatching it up off of the blood soaked deck and scrambling after him again, blinders on in the heat of the moment.

He was so caught up in the moment that he didn’t even notice that Andrew’s laughing had turned into something less taunting and more manic. 

The blond was spinning, and had killed two men already. Two more attacked, but both missed him while a third rushed in. Andrew continued his spin and used his leg to trip up one of the two who had initially tripped him. The man tumbled into the other two and Andrew used the chance to shove the closest one overboard, using his shorter stature and lower center of gravity to propel him over the side. He was a bit too occupied, though, and missed one of the men who had regained his footing. 

The man was too close, and grabbed at Andrew’s robe. Nothing but the blue’s quick reflexes saved Andrew’s life. He span fast enough for the blade to miss his spine and instead grazed his arm and lodged into his side. Andrew twisted away and dropped down and away before he span around and stabbed his own twin daggers straight into the offender’s inner thighs, causing his legs to spasm as blood spurted out. 

Andrew stood, only to realize that he had already taken out all of the other threats above deck, but Neil was nowhere to be found. A quick check with Yardith let Andrew know that Neil was below deck, recklessly engaging the captain.

Yardith also informed Andrew that Tenith was not happy about this, OR the fact that she was left out of yet ANOTHER boat ride. She did not enjoy that at all.

Grinning to himself, Andrew took the time to instead check his own injuries. If Tenith was still coherent enough to be sassy about missing a boat ride of all things, then that meant Neil was just fine. 

In fact, below deck, Neil was throwing one of his daggers across the room. It lodged into the throat of one smuggler while Neil kicked another back into the wall. He ran forward to follow up the attack and submitted a lethal undercut into the man’s ribs, yanking his dagger out just far enough to insert it back in at another angle several more times. When the man went limp, Neil yanked his dagger out just in time for a third attacker to pull him back. 

It was obvious the man was trying to pull Neil back into a hold of some sort, but Neil kicked him in his knee, forcing it to buckle backwards and dropped down just enough when the man’s grip loosened, maneuvering himself to be able to flip the man over. Neil stabbed the man’s foot as he struggled to scramble away, forcing him back down. Another few stabs were left in the back of the man’s leg, then his hip, lower back, and the side of his neck for good measure. 

By the time Neil glanced back up, the captain was already across the room, and going for another door. Growling in frustration, Neil forced himself to his own two feet and raced forward, yanking his second dagger from the throat of the first downstairs smuggler on his way. Blood and guts made the going slippery, but Neil was so single-mindedly focussed on his task that he hardly noticed. 

What he DID notice was the sound of crunching bone as he tackled the captain and pinned him to the floor of the captain’s quarters to hold him in place. 

That, and the sound of Andrew’s approaching footsteps. He had no idea HOW he knew it was Andrew, but he did, and he was more than thankful to know that it was him. 

Still, knowing that didn’t seem to help at all. Neil still jumped when Andrew reached out and touched his hair. He span around, the sound of the captain’s screams still filling his ears, but Andrew was faster. He grabbed Neil’s arms, keeping him from doing anything he would regret and yanking him up and away from the still flailing captain. He forcefully moved Neil up and away, all but shoving him into the corner and forcing him to take a few deep breaths. 

It took a while- too long, Neil was sure- to calm down, but by the time he was breathing evenly and able to cope with what had just happened, Andrew had already helped him back up the stairs and into Yardith’s saddle. He wanted to ask what was going to happen with the captain, but he knew he was in no place to ask that, and he knew that once he couldn’t hear the man’s screams anymore, the answer couldn’t be good.

What was good was the fact that Andrew was soon back, and wore an extremely pleased expression on his face. He encouraged Neil to help pack up all of the cargo, and with less finesse than brute force, they had Yardith all but yank the deck apart to get to the goods before they unpacked everything in neat piles on the docks.

Everything was still hazy and out of focus for Neil, even when Andrew announced their task done. It wasn’t until they were up in the air and Yardith had nudged the boat out into the deeper open water and finished the final chore of sinking the ship far enough out that it and its crew would never be found that Neil could finally breathe. His shoulders finally relaxed when they were up in another air pocket and Yardith’s wings finally stilled, holding the air in their mysterious way. 

“Are you better now?” Andrew asked, and Neil only just realized that Andrew had his hand in his hair and one arm around his middle, holding him tightly even if he had on his riding stripes. 

“I… I am.” he nodded, and Andrew reached around, trailing the hand from the back of his head around to his chin to make him lean back and look over. “I am, really.”

“What do you need?” Andrew asked, giving him an inquisitive look. 

“I just want to fly for a while.” Neil swallowed hard and tried to look away, but Andrew wouldn’t let him. The hand on his chin tightened a bit, enough to be uncomfortable, but not enough to hurt. “I just need to be away for a minute. I’m not running.” 

“Come home with me.” Andrew commanded, and Neil knew that he couldn’t get away with not giving him an answer this time. 

“I will. I will, I just need a minute… For gold’s sake, I just killed like five men. I… I’m a murderer. I killed- for… for…” He struggled, trying hard to remain calm. 

“For what’s yours. It’s nothing you haven’t done before.” Andrew was so calm, Neil couldn’t help but relax a bit. What Andrew was saying was true, after all. Neil HAD killed before. Multiple men. He already had blood on his hands. 

“Not like this- we just walked in there- just attacked them…” Neil wasn’t sure he could just let that go, but Andrew wasn’t trying to sugar coat things.

“Yes. We did. But, they attacked us first, you remember? That man would have killed you, and the resources they’re taking from us are the same resources that are not only due us as dragon men, but resources that can help the whole island survive Threadfall. They knew that, and continued to steal from us.” Andrew’s fingers loosened just enough to be comfortable again. “Would you rather I let them go?”

“No.” Neil for sure didn’t want that. If there was one thing he did NOT want, it was that. 

“Good,” Andrewhummed quietly. After a moment, he gave Neil another squeeze.

“I just killed people…” Neil repeated, and Andrew said nothing. “I… I know I did it for these… for my new home. This is what I’m trying to protect…” Neil glanced to the side and pressed his lips together as he saw the lights of Palmetto on the horizon. “If we didn’t take them out they would have kept stealing from us. They would have taken tithes meant for dragon men to help survive the Fall… or businesses or the Lord Holder. I know that the simple fact that they’re here in Palmetto means they’ve been given a chance to start over regardless of their previous standing in life. It’s called Second Chance Isle by some people. I know that if they were caught breaking the laws red handed like we just did, they would eventually be executed, too… I know that if we let the justice system do what it’s supposed to, there would be too much time between then and now for things to keep being stolen- for the real crooks to go free… for more people to be roped in. I know that…”

“You know that, but?” 

“I hate killing… I… I know I can. I know when I have to. I know that if Riko comes, and takes me-“

“He won’t.”

“I’m SCARED that if he does, I’ll be killing for him, then!” Neil couldn’t help but cry out, feeling his whole body starting to shake again. Andrew tightened his grip and his shivers slowed down again. “That I’ll be just like my father… what’s the difference between him and me? Why do I have to be the one to kill?” 

Andrew was silent for a while, and Neil thought that maybe he wouldn’t answer. 

“The fact that you don’t like it is what makes you different, Neil. That, and you have me.” Andrew’s arms around Neil’s middle tightened. “The reason why you have to be the one to do it, though, is simple. You can. You’re fucked up enough to be able to. Just like me.” 

Neil was the one to fall into silence this time, and Andrew let him, even while Yardirh rose up above the clouds and lazily drifted over the air currents, keeping the wind from beating over them as much as possible. They were silent all the way up until they could see the weyr bowl directly below them and hear the sounds of celebration far below, even in the middle of the night. 

“Are you ready? Or do you want to fly some more?” Andrew asked quietly. 

“I’m ok now…” Neil admitted, taking a deep breath. 

“Hungry?” 

“A little… I should check on Tenith…”

“She’s fine. With Lynth right now.”

“...” Neil took another deep breath and nodded. Andrew let Yardith hover for about thirty minutes before they finally dropped, carefully spiraling down to the lakes. Even through the silence, Neil was grateful for Andrew’s presence. It wasn’t until Yardith was all clean and oiled and Andrew has lead them to the showers, and then to Abby's den that Neil spoke. 

“I don’t need a healer.”

“But you need some time to relax. Be alone eat in silence. If you go back to your weyr, Matt and the girls are going to ride your ass till you say you’re sleepy and it’ll be a stretch to keep them from even tucking you in.” Andrew pointed out. Neil couldn’t stop himself from blinking in shock. Andrew has a good point.

“Okay…”

“Just trust me tonight.” Andrew said quietly, eyes echoing Yardith’s.

“I do.” Neil breathed, and he was thankful for the hand that made its way into his hair and gently squeezed.


	6. You Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew and Neil finally have a talk they've been putting off for a while, and Neil comes to terms with what it will mean to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDITED)
> 
> Hello all- I know it's been forever. I know it's been FOREVER. But hear me out... I'm sorry. And I love you. So here's some happy fluff- well, as happy and as fluffy as Neil and Andrew can get.
> 
> (((I added more to this chapter!!Enjoy Wobbly Knees Josten!!)))

Neil wondered, vaguely, if he would ever get used to the feel of coagulated blood slowly peeling away from his fingers as he rubbed them together with soap and water- if he could ever really NOT find it funny that blood did, indeed, wash off your hands. Sure, by the time you finally got it off, you had probably scrubbed your hands so hard that they were red just from the friction, but it wasn’t like it was impossible to get the warm stickiness off. Just… difficult.

Maybe as difficult as it was to glance up in the mirror and see Andrew beside him as he carefully avoided his own reflection.

Maybe as difficult as it was to breathe every time he remembered the choices he had just made.

“What do you need?” Andrew asked him in a quiet voice, and Neil blinked, realizing that he had somehow managed to finish washing his hands, take a much too-hot shower and dry off before making it back to his bench in the changing rooms. 

“Why isn’t Tenith talking to me?” Neil asked back instead, blinking rapidly to moisten his dry eyes. He had been staring at her name for a while now, unaware of how focused he had been.

“She’s with Lynth right now.” 

“But earlier- I know she was talking with Yardith… but I didn’t hear her this whole time… Why isn’t the talking with me? She’s not asleep.”

Andrew was quiet for a while, as if weighing his words.

“Neil, she’s been trying to talk to you. You shut her out.” Andrew’s voice wasn’t soft- his tone wasn’t gentle… but it wasn’t as hard and as firm nor as condescending as it could have been. It was just… stating the facts. “She felt you in stress and couldn’t find you in the weyr. She reached out and could feel you, but not talk to you, so she went to Lynth. She’s fine- talking with Yardith and Ardanth and Lynth.” 

“But not Hemmi.” Neil didn’t know why he felt the need to say that- it was really irrelevant. 

“Tenith never talks to Hemmi anymore.”

“Yea… She’s okay, though?”

“She’s okay.”

“Are you okay?” Neil felt his eyes flicker up to Andrew’s chest, realizing that the blue rider was sitting with him on the bench, though he was faced to the side, so Neil could only see his profile.

“I’m never okay, Neil.” The honesty shook Neil a little, and he blinked, letting his eyes flash up to Andrew’s face. “But I’m not bad.”

“...Me either.” Neil whispered. “I’m not bad.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I want to stay.” Neil said after a long time- or maybe it was just a few seconds. He couldn’t tell anymore. 

“Then stay.”

“I’m a murderer- I just killed men. Lots of men.”

“So did I.”

“There’s no way Riko and his family won’t notice and come for us- they’re already playing petty council games.”

“If they come for us, they’ll have to admit that they were looking out for the goods- which were ours. Stolen from us.”

“They’ll find some other reason.”

“Let them.”

“If I fight…” Neil fell silent now, and Andrew looked over at him.

“If you fight, I’ll fight beside you.”

“Why…?” Neil turned away now, unable to look at Andrew. “You want me- want me to give myself to you- to trust you. I just don’t get why. I’m trouble- and there are people after me-”

“So is Kevin. Kevin is actually worse. You just run away.” Andrew said, voice still quiet and low- not gentle or sweet, but not hard or angry either.

“So then why don’t you just keep Kevin and let me go?” Neil could hear the whine threatening to filter into his voice and swallowed it down.

Andrew was quiet for a while, still and calm, too much like Yardith with his unflapping wings floating in the air.

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “When I first met you, I knew you were dangerous. I didn’t want you to have anything to do with me and mine. I wanted to kill you.” 

“I could tell.” Neil sighed, and wondered why THAT was what put him at ease and let him relax his shoulders. Andrew seemed to stiffen, however, and though the glows were dimming due to the late hour, Neil could tell the back of his neck and the tips of his ears were getting a little more red.

“But you’re interesting. You don’t want to do what you don’t want to do. You do whatever you do want to do. You tell me no- and listen when I tell you no. You have boundaries.” Andrew frowned at the locker across from him and Neil swallowed hard. “You didn’t just give me your trust- but you trusted me when it mattered. You don’t let me take anything from you that you don’t want to give.”

Neil took a deep breath, wondering if this was some sort of round-about confession from the minute blue.

“I’m not just something you get to claim like a lost doll… but I’m also kind of lost, too. It’s not like I don’t want to stay… or figure out what trust even is.” Now, it was Neil’s turn to feel his heart do a strange flip-flop and he shifted again. He was uncomfortable- stiff- but not the same way he had been before.

“Trust is hard.” Andrew whispered now, as if it was a secret. Not something to be shared lightly.

“Yea… but…”

“But.”

“But I want to stay.”

“Then stay.”

“And I want to fight.”

“Then fight.”

“And if I stay, and fight, I want you to be mine.”

Time seemed to stand still, and Neil wasn’t even sure the words had come from his own mouth. He didn’t know where they came from, really. Sure, there was something that whispered quietly in the darkest depths of even the farthest hidden corner of his being, but under all of the layers and fake names and personas he had created over the years, he wasn’t even sure if it was real or not! To have it tear itself free and dare to escape by way of his lips was pure treason! 

Neil didn’t even realize when he stood, or where he thought he was going, riding boots only half laced up, but he felt it when Andrew looked up at him. FELT it, rather than saw it. 

“Are you running again?” came the quiet accusation, as if Andrew was just waiting for it, and not at all surprised to see it happening right now.

“No!” Neil snapped, and knew his own face was red as he whirled around. He had to look away at the surprised expression on Andrew’s usually passive face. 

“I’m not running away- I just- Andrew, I just said I wanted you- to have you and keep you and help protect you the way you protect me and be with you and- and everything and you just sat there! I’m embarrassed, alright?”

“Right. Because that’s really not the kind of asshole move YOU would do, Neil.” Andrew said dryly, and Neil was vividly aware of each and every time ANdrew had flirted or teased or asked him to stay.

“I’m not running away, I’m just…” Neil struggled, knowing he was being hypocritical.

“Running.” Andrew reiterated, features settling again as he studied Neil’s face closely. “Like a frightened little rabbit from a fox.”

“I’m a fox, too.” Neil found himself growling the words, and turned back around, needing to look away from Andrew. Now that he was called out on it, he knew he couldn’t just leave- even if it wasn’t actually running.

“You want me?” Andrew asked after an uncomfortable amount of silence. 

“I just don’t think that me staying should only be one sided- you keep saying you want me, you need me to trust you- I’m yours. But I’m not just some pushover or damsel in need of protecting. I’m a green, but I’m not just some--” Neil started to rant.

“I never thought you were.” Andrew was frowning- Neil could hear it in his voice.

“But I need to protect- to … to hold onto people.” Now, Andrew was serious again, and Neil turned halfway back to him, wondering what it said about him as a person that he couldn’t look Andrew in the face now that they were having such an intimate conversation, but he could stare any crazed madman wielding a weapon with no fear.

“And I don’t want to be treated like just some possession to keep and tidy away.” Neil unfolded his arms, but then didn’t know what to do with them, so he folded them again. “Besides, you already have Kevin, and before you said that I’m different than him. I’m a fool for thinking you want me the same as him- so maybe I am. Maybe I need you to spell it out for me- or maybe I need some kind of compensation. Maybe I need someone to keep, too, before I stay.”

“Jealousy is cute on you, but don’t overplay it. Kevin isn’t the same.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t feel like a compliment, but I think it was supposed to be…?”

“Do you?” Andrew asked, standing slowly. Neil knew the blue wasn’t talking about Kevin anymore- he was asking if Neil needed someone to keep before he stayed, and he tried to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine for no reason at all.

“I don’t know yet.” Neil admitted. “But…” he paused as he watched Andrew start to dress himself. He had also taken a shower and had been sitting in nothing but a towel and his arm bands as Neil zoned out- as if dealing with Neil was more important than even getting decently dressed first. “But I’m a murderer. A monster who can kill. I know how to… to do things other people can’t. And according to you, the fact that I don’t like it, but that I CAN and WILL do it means that I’m qualified TO do it. But I’m not…If there’s nothing that’s mine- that’s solid and real- then I usually just throw it away and start over. Burn it and leave it in the sand and pick up the things that ARE and keep going until I feel safe again.” 

Neil felt himself shivering and wondered what was making him come out with this unsolicited truth in front of Andrew at a time like this. He wondered, vaguely, if it had to do with the fact that he could feel Tenith gently prodding at the back of his mind to be let back in since a while ago. Here mere presence in his mind was giving him the security and peace of mind to relax, it seemed. Maybe Andrew was putting him on an edge he hadn’t dared challenge since before his mother passed, but Tenith was there was outstretched wings to catch him as he tipped over and fell HARD.

He swallowed and struggled to plow forward as Andrew watched him from across the room. “Running means surviving. Staying and fighting means death- I’m committing myself to dying here. I- it might not be… the kind of death I’m thinking of. Maybe I won’t be found out by Riko and the Moriyamas. I might be able to stay here and learn how to fly and fight Thread and die in the skies, going Between with Tenith. Or I might grow old and die… die here, in a bed somewhere, too crippled and frail to save myself from my own heart running out of beats or something… But- staying here means dying. Fighting with you means death for me.”

“A true dragonman should hope to die in the sky.” Andrew responded, and Neil could tell it was just a filler- some absent words that were meant to fill the void as he gathered his thoughts.

“When I was with my mother- the Mary all the dragons talked about- the only reason I ran was because I was with her. She… When she died, I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I didn’t really have a reason… Sure, I didn’t want to die, but really, I just didn’t want to be caught by my father and forced to do things the Butcher crafthall wanted me to do. I didn’t want to kill innocent people or people who didn’t want to pay thugs and crooks. But I didn’t really have a real will to live…” Neil’s eyes flickered down to Andrew’s arms and the blond’s fingers twitched as if he could feel the glance.

“But having someone to fight with gave you a reason?” Andrew wondered. Neil nodded. 

“If my father caught me… after my mother was dead, I already decided…” 

Silence fell between them and Neil watched as Andrew’s fingers curled into fists.

“Is that why you ran like hell when Wy’Rhaun found you?” the blue baited.

Neil shook his head quietly. “It was a dragon, in the middle of a crowded Gather. I was running to make sure nobody saw- what the dragon could do. Thread is about to fall- we don’t need people running scared of dragons eating them the same way they eat Thread.”

“Dragons don’t eat Thread.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I was running then because I wanted to fight on my own terms. Without innocent people getting in the way. Used as bait.”

“Would you run now?” Andrew asked after a while.

“I told you, I’m staying-”

“If Riko came, and took someone hostage. Anyone. Me- Kevin- Damien? If Riko was here, and took someone hostage and told you to come with him so that they wouldn’t suffer? Would you?” Andrew asked, and waited as Neil’s mind buzzed with the possible answers.

“I don’t know.” Neil finally answered, blinking hard.

“What if I was by your side? Or if I was- yours?” Andrew asked, voice clipped at the end as his shoulders raised just a bit, as if just saying it was something to make him jump. Neil’s mind buzzed again, and he felt his heart do the flip-flop thing again as he looked away. 

“I…” Neil felt his mind stop working, as if there was a sudden clicking pop, and everything went blank.

“Did your mother ever get caught?” he heard Andrew ask.

“... Once…” The word came unbidden to Neil’s lips.

“Did you go back for her?” 

“Yes.” 

“And she was yours?” 

“Yes.” 

“Am I yours?”

Neil took a deep breath, and he felt more than saw Andrew do the same. “Yes.”

“Then you’re mine. And I’ll come back for you. Fight for you. Protect you.” Andrew was looking away as he said it, and Neil was thankful for that- he didn’t want the crazy blue to see the expression on his own face! “But I swear, if you leave me, I’m going to hunt you down and kill you like the frightened little bunny rabbit you are, Nathaniel.”

“I hate it when you call me that.” Neil finally admitted, turning away again.

“Then stop acting like a little bitch. The Neil I know isn’t anything like the idiot Nathaniel.”

“Do you think you know me?”

“I think I have you. Finally.” Andrew snapped back.

“I’m the one who has you.” Neil retorted, unwilling to be outdone. 

“Yes.” Andrew’s scoff was enough to relax his shoulders, and he knew that the moment was over. “Now, do you want to deal with Matt and Dan tonight or do you want to sleep at Abby’s?”

“I don’t…” Neil frowned, only to glance over just as Andrew stepped away from his locker, already wearing his riding jacket.

“Or you could come with me.” Andrew meandered over to Neil’s locker and pulled down his riding jacket. “I’m going to fly.”

“Fly?” Neil wondered, glancing up as he started to dress himself more fully, intending to be up in the air.

“Just up. I need to see what’s mine.” Andrew nodded, leaning back against the lockers to watch Neil. 

“So…” Neil was determined not to feel awkward about this. “What does being yours mean? You said I’m different than Kevin- and Renee said she’s not yours.” 

“You asked Renee about me.” Andrew said it like a statement, not a question, and Neil looked away, pretending not to hear Tenith chuckling in the back of his mind. She was almost audible- if he actually took the time and listened, he could feel her- hear her- but this was a dangerous conversation and he wasn’t sure he wanted her to overhear it just yet. 

“I didn’t understand Renee. When she came to the girls’ room all beat up…” 

“Sparring. She’s my partner. Goodness, aren’t you a jealous one?” Andrew all but purred.

“How can I be jealous? It’s not like being yours means I’m your boyfriend or anything.” Neil felt sarcasm daring to bite through. “It just means we fly together- and attack evil smugglers together, and sometimes you toss me off your dragon.”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Andrew asked him, voice bored but eyes boring holes into Neil.

“Not if you ask me like that, I don’t.” Neil only had so many tools of evasion at his disposal.

“I don’t want to play a game when it comes to things like that. I need a clear answer.” Andrew said, voice sounding low and bored, but Neil glanced over at him again when he heard the tap of his metal riding shoes against the stone floor. 

“Well… What does it mean to be yours? I don’t… really know what a boyfriend is supposed to do- or a wyrmate or whatever it is you call it.” Neil finally admitted, tying off the last leather strap and standing awkwardly. 

“Not a boyfriend then.” was Andrew’s reply.

“Well, there’s Tenith. I don’t want to compromise her with- anything like sex or whatever.” Neil frowned, crossing his arms. He didn’t miss the way Andrew stalked forward, hazel eyes almost blue in the low glows setting the room to an eerie tone. 

“Is that where your mind immediately goes? Sex?” 

“You’re the one who said you would blow me-” 

“And I meant it.”

“But Tenith is too young. Even if it’s not true that I’ll stunt her growth or hurt her or anything, I don’t want her to feel- that.”

“How noble. But I approve.” Andrew shrugged easily.

“What?” Neil blinked over at him in surprise.

“Don’t look so shocked. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” The blond looked so angry that Neil had to raise his hands in mock surrender.

“That- that’s not what I meant. Just, don’t you want to do stuff like that? Or else you wouldn’t have asked me. Are you really okay with having a boyfriend that doesn’t want to do anything like that for more than a year? That’s how long it takes for dragons to mature, right?” Neil tried to explain. Andrew’s narrowed eyes made him wonder if he had somehow said the wrong thing. It was a long while before he realized that Andrew must have been thinking, and noticed the dusky pink that tipped his ears.

“I didn’t chase after you like a damn fool out of my mind just because I want to suck your dick, Neil.” Andrew finally said, jaw tight. Neil blinked over at him, feeling like his mind was made of molasses. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.” He protested, confusion twisting his face as Andrew turned away from him, showing off the blush that ran across the back of his neck.

“I hate that face you’re making. Shut up.” Andrew repeated, grabbing his helmet and almost angrily tossing Neil’s over at him.

“Again, I never said a thing, Andrew.” Neil couldn’t help but grin now, tucking his helmet under his arm. 

“I’ll wait for however long it takes- I don’t even care if you’re never ready, Neil. I’m not keeping you on the condition that you’ll put out, so get that stupid fucking idea out of your pretty little head. The minute you let me walk all over you and use you however I like is the minute you become nothing to me. It is NOT a good look on you.” Andrew growled.

“But when I am ready?” Neil wondered curiously, following Andrew out of the locker rooms and towards the weyr bowl. 

“Then you can give me a yes.” Andrew frowned, watching Neil from the corner of his eye as they walked side by side.

“What if I already have a few yeses I wanna cash in, then? That I’m already sure about? But no more?” Neil wondered curiously. Somehow, there was a sort of easy exchange of power between them- when Andrew was embarrassed or unsure, Neil felt more confident and wanted to take charge- to tease and coax and reassure him back to equilibrium just the same as Andrew seemed to like to do for him. 

“Not tonight.” Andrew grumbled, pausing just as they stepped out into the weyr bowl to see Yardith curled in on himself, tail wrapped around with his head resting as if he was some sort of large feline. After Neil answered with nothing more than an accepting and companionable silence, the blond growled and turned to him. “Come here.” 

Neil blinked in confusion, but grinned as he took a step forward, easily letting the helmet that he had been about to put on fall to his side as his free hand reached up to close the distance between them. 

“Don’t touch me.” Andrew warned, and Neil had to snap the questing hand back, tucking it behind his back and hooking it into the crook of the arm holding his helmet. He was a little shocked, but not at all disappointed when Andrew took a step forward to close the gap between them, yanking his hair with firm fingers and pressing their foreheads together to glare up into his eyes. “Not tonight.” 

“Alright,” Neil could hear the breathlessness in his own voice and tried hard to will his heart to stop beating so hard just from a simple touch. 

“But that doesn’t mean not forever- if you want. But we both have to be okay with it.” Andrew laid down his hard line, and demanded Neil understand. Only when he got an awkwardly jerky nod did Andrew relax his fingers, carefully rubbing small circles into his scalp as an apology. “Tonight, I just need to fly- to see what’s mine- before I have to take the Felicity again. But when it’s time- I’ll tell you yes.”

“Okay…” Neil breathed again and felt Andrew slowly relax against him. “I’m yours.” 

He didn’t know why he felt the need to say that- why it brought a prickling heat up his cheeks and down the back of his own neck, but he loved the way Andrew shivered slightly at the words- the way his pupils dilated just slightly as he processed the words- the way his fingers twitched back into a loose fist at the back of Neil’s head.

“And you have me, you absolute fucking idiot.” Andrew growled, finally pulling away as he trailed his hand from the back of Neil’s hair and dragged it slowly over his shoulders and back before all but marching towards Yardith, who was now watching them with whirling multicolored eyes.

Confused yet somehow hopeful for the first time in forever, Neil wondered if he was happier about the fact that he had someone to fight by his side again, or the fact that Andrew had finally FINALLY said that it was okay for Neil to have him.

\--You ARE an absolute fucking idiot, Neil.-- He heard in the back of his mind, the very last piece of the puzzle to fall into place in the form of Tennith’s voice and the comforting resonance that vibrated through his soul at the feel of it after a long night.

Grinning, Neil tucked on his riding helmet and made his way over to Yardith, watching as Andrew gracefully vaulted himself up into the saddle. He never even considered hesitating as he reached up to take the offered gloved hand, eager for the feel of the strong arms he knew would encircle him and keep him safe in the saddle as they rose above Pern and dipped in lazy circles through the clouds to carefully document their small island- their home.

\-------------

The next few days were…

Strange.

Andrew came for Neil in the mornings, to the surprise of everyone, and while he didn’t run with Neil and Tenith, he did make Kevin start running with them, while he lazily rode above with Yardith. He came for Neil at lunch, and while he didn’t always join Neil, sometimes they did have lunch up on Fox Rocks. At night, after the after practice with Kevin, instead of teaching Neil spacial coordination, Andrew took him up into the sky and they flickered Between to all sorts of different places on Pern. Neil never knew Andrew had visited so many places, but each and every time Andrew leaned forward to grip at the bone ridge in front of the saddle and sent the coordinates through Neil to give to Yardith, it took his breath away. 

It was a new sort of freeing to know that he had all of the coordinates of any of the largest holds at his disposal and yet know that his home was Palmetto. 

By the fifth night, Andrew had stopped giving the directions to Neil and instead let Neil choose where they were going. Neil got so carried away flickering here and there that he didn’t even know half of the night had passed until he felt Andrew shiver against his back.

“A-Are you c-c-cold?” Neil chattered, and knew that the scoff the blond gave him in response was well deserved. 

“Stay.” Andrew grumbled after a moment, and Neil was shocked that his teeth weren’t chattering, too. “Between is a cold place- you can’t keep going in and out and not expect to freeze your ass off.”

“S-S-sor--” Neil tried, only to feel Andrew lean back a bit. The air was warm, since they were over a desert hold close to the equator, but Neil still shivered and half turned to see why he was moving. When a blanket draped down around him, held just inches off of his shoulders by Andrew’s leather clad arms, he couldn’t help but blink curiously.

“Stop staring. Yes or no?” the blue grumbled, frown etched into his lips, but not reaching his eyes.

“Yes.” Neil breathed, just shy of feeling his teeth chattering again. When Andrew leaned forward again and wrapped the blanket around them, Neil was shocked by the gentleness of the motion. “Can I lean back?” he found himself asking after a moment. Andrew shifted behind him, and Neil felt his legs moving against the riding straps before he lifted his arms from around Neil and gave him room.

“Go.” came the quiet comment, and Neil relaxed, leaning back against Andrew’s firm chest and trying hard not to shiver when Andrew’s arms circled under his own and held him by his middle, hands splayed out against his chest and stomach, holding the blanket in place with tension. Neil’s skin jumped at the touch, and he couldn’t help but jerk a bit at the feel, even over the leather. Andrew froze against his back, hands lifting immediately.

“No- it’s alright. Just…” Neil cleared his throat and shifted a little to get more comfortable.

“You should say no if you don’t want me to touch you.” came Andrew’s biting response.

“I wouldn’t let you if I didn’t want you to,” Neil snapped back, and waited for Andrew to replace his hands. When the blond just remained stiff and still, Neil let out a puff of annoyed air and rolled his eyes. “It’s a ‘yes’, Andrew.” 

It still took a moment for Andrew to finally touch him again, but by the time he did, Andrew’s body had relaxed at least enough to not be a rock solid wall. Not that Neil had been complaining about that, either. 

He tried not to think about how much he liked Andrew’s solidity against his back.

“Did you talk any more with Dan about training the hatchlings?” Andrew asked after another drawn out moment in which warmth finally started to seep back into Neil’s bones. 

“Yea, and we were working with Kevin to rewrite some of the old traditional training manuals. The original dragonriders pretty much did everything by trial and error for generations, but once they got everything down- after they rediscovered Firestone and the Golden and Green Queen Reigns, they were pretty much unified in what the limits of training young dragons was.” Neil explained.

“You read through all of the manuscripts and worked with Kevin to help rewrite them?” Andrew asked, but it hardly sounded like a real question. He must have already known the answer.

“Yea…”

“When can we expect the first flight?” 

“Soon.”

“Are you ready?”

“Tenith can already glide- she opens up her wings when we’re running in the mornings and started to glide down when she can. I’m doing everything I can to keep her from jumping out of the weyr whenever she visits any of the other dragons.” Neil sighed.

“I asked if YOU were ready.” Andrew repeated stalwartly.

“Kevin said I would be once I could guide a dragon to any place without help. I’ve been doing that all night.”

Silence stretched between them and Neil counted the seconds, noticing that Andrew had stopped moving and didn’t even breathe for more than a minute and a half.

Then, finally, “A truth for a truth. I hate it when you avoid my questions. It makes it impossible to take care of you. Just tell me no.”

Neil pressed his lips together and stared out at the starry night sky, noticing that the second moon was already high in the sky.

“A truth for a truth?” he finally whispered.

“Yes.”

“I’m scared.”

Silence stretched between them, and Neil took a deep breath, feeling the way Andrew’s arms shifted to accommodate the expansion of his ribcage. 

“Everything is going too good. Things are too right. And now, I have a way to leave. Which always meant being safe. But I don’t want to.” He finally said, voice shaking in a way that had nothing to do with the chill from before.

“It’s too hard to tell it’s real.” Andrew agreed, and Neil swallowed hard as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. Since the last game and the slaughter on the boat after, he hadn’t dyed it. It was slowly but surely fading back into its usual red, and Neil had a new habit of yanking at it as if that would rip it out or something when he was frustrated. Andrew reached up to stop his hand, the warmth transferring from his stomach to the top of his head. “Stop it.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Neil admitted.

“You don’t have to do anything- but fight. With me.” Andrew said, and Neil could hear the tightness in his voice.

“Yea- I know that.” 

“You- have me.” Andrew’s voice was still too tight and Neil frowned, turning his head to look over his shoulder at him.

“And you have me- I’m not leaving.”

“You’re prone to cold feet. A coward.” Andrew frowned, not looking at him, and Neil felt the personal attack as it was. 

“Not this time.” It was all Neil could promise.

“I don’t have any anchor to you- you just said that. Things are going too good, and if you don’t want to stay, there’s nothing keeping you.” Andrew bit out. It sounded painful when Andrew forced out a quiet, “Truth. I hate it.”

“A truth for a truth?”

Long minutes passed before Andrew nodded.

“You’re the most terrifying thing about this whole thing.” Neil finally admitted, turning a bit more in the saddle until Andrew’s hands fell down to his thighs. Neil stallwardly ignored their warmth and double checked that Tenith was still asleep. 

“So then you’re scared of me?” 

Neil hated the empty resonance in those words, and narrowed his eyes.

“No. I’m not scared of you.”

“Tenith is right about you.”

“I’m NOT scared of you, Andrew. You said you would protect me, and I trust you.”

“But I’m the most terrifying thing?” Andrew’s eyes finally slid over to Neil, and a muscle in his jaw worked.

“Because now I know I’m going to do everything in my power to keep what’s mine- and you’re mine.” Neil felt Andrew stiffen against him, but didn’t back down. “And the last time I was responsible for someone else, I couldn’t keep them safe. I wasn’t strong enough. I’m never strong enough- that’s why I’m scared.” Neil finally admitted. Underneath them, Yardith rumbled and beat his massive wings once. Neil knew that the strange blue could remain floating in the air for entire minutes without beating- hovering within some strange magical space that was gravity defying and made no sense- so he could only assume it was the blue’s way of shifting uncomfortably without deigning to speak to them.

“You work too hard. And worry about inevitabilities.” The blue rider eventually said, looking away from Neil. “If you can’t protect me, that means I wasn’t able to protect you, too. And that means we’re both dead anyway. Dead dragon men don’t have to worry about anything but Between, so what’s the point?” 

“You make double suicide sound so romantic.” Neil sighed and relished in the twist of Andrew’s lips.

“Truth. You are terrifying, too. Not even Felicity can erase you, but you’re always looking for exits.” 

It was a truth Neil couldn’t deny. He didn’t even try to.

“If I leave, it’ll be with you.” 

“Disgusting. Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.”

“It’s not a promise. It’s the truth.”

Andrew sighed, and finally looked back at Neil, hazel eyes calculating and cataloging something Neil himself wasn’t even sure of. Then, finally, “We have another game soon. It’s closer to the Ravens and talk has been loud about the missing ship and sudden appearance of the stolen goods.”

Neil winced at the forced change of topic and turned back around, relaxing in Andrew’s arms. He tried hard to ignore the way goosebumps rose on every inch of his skin when Andrew trailed his hands back up and hugged him around his middle again. He couldn’t ignore the way his skin jumped, but he was determined not to comment on it. “What are we going to do about it?”

“More goods have started to go missing again. And the new ship is almost done being built.” Andrew said instead of answering.

“It’s only been a few days- how did they get a new ship built that fast?” Neil frowned.

“It was already being built. Three were already being built.”

“Do you think it’s so they can start taking more goods?”

“I think that if the Ravens have been skimming a little off of the top since Kevin showed up or even before- since Palmetto is such a small and controversial weyr anyway- it wouldn’t be a stretch to think they would have enough people and money to support them building a small fleet. And trade is essential for any weyr. Trade by way of ships even moreso for a weyr by the ocean, and doubly so for a weyr that thinks too highly of dragons to allow them to be used as pack mules.” Andrew chuckled at the same time Yardith rumbled and Neil felt the doubled tone down to his bones. Again, he ignored the shiver that ran down his spine.

He couldn’t ignore the way Andrew leaned up a bit and wrapped his arms tighter around his middle, tucking the blanket closer. 

“If that’s true, then would the Raven’s claws be too deep inside of Palmetto to do anything about? Doesn’t that mean the whole island is compromised?” Neil tried to concentrate. Andrew hummed, an amused sound that was copied playfully by Yardith as the dragon beat his wings again.

“No- I have a couple of ideas who is the one giving them access. After we took out the ship, a few stragglers raised their heads, and Renee and Ker-la have been taking them down. They all have a few people in common.” Andrew explained easily.

“Are we going to- get them, too?” Neil wondered, and was proud of himself for not choking on the sour words.

“Not yet.” Andrew shook his head, and Neil felt his breath against the curve of his ear. 

He ignored it. 

“Why not?”

“We have a game coming up- closer to the Ravens.” Andrew repeated, as if Neil was incredibly dense and needed it spelled out for him. Neil sighed and turned his head to look back at him again, only to realize just how close they were. 

Andrew returned his gaze, expression blank, as if just waiting for Neil to grasp the meaning behind his words.

“Concentrate. Stop staring.” He snapped after a moment, and Neil frowned, looking away again.

“What does our next game have to do with the criminals? Are we just going to wait for after the game like last time?” Neil wondered now, trying not to think about how Andrew clearly was NOT thinking about the same things he was. 

“We’re going to wait for who’s really behind it all to meet up with Riko so we can make sure we’ve got the right one, Neil. Honestly, I thought it was the hair dye that was making you so slow- or the sightroot. Now I’m just disappointed in myself for hoping.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny. If you didn’t like me, you would just throw me away.” Neil grumbled, and ignored the low rumbling underneath him as Yardith responded to them. “How can you be sure the suspect is going to meet up with Riko? That Riko will even be there?”

“The main culprits aren’t dragonmen, and their finances don’t add up. They’re all doing SOMETHING, but I can’t be sure what it is until I have proof. And if they’re not dragonmen, they’ll have to meet Riko somehow. They can’t send out drum messages, and two of the three don’t have dragonettes. If it’s the third, then Riko already knows more than we can hope to guard against and we’ll have no choice but to fight to the death… but I doubt it’s him. It’s too convenient for it to be him. But if the other two want to meet Riko, they’ll have to ask one of our dragons to ferry them to the game- call in favors, since Riko’s dragons aren’t welcome in our skies. And Riko’s going to want to be at the game to see you and Kevin.” Andrew said, words making too much cold sense.

“He can’t really attack us in the middle of a game, though, can he?” Neil felt his body stiffen up and Andrew’s arms loosened from around him, dropping back down again to give him space to escape if he wanted to. 

Neil ignored it.

“He can. And he will, if he wants. But it would be stupid.”

“So he’ll try to get us alone?” Neil wondered.

“He’ll probably just talk to you- get a rile out of you in front of the Harpers.” Andrew admitted. "At least while he's at the game."

“He… Does he know who I am? Already?” Neil wondered, a familiar fear rising under his skin.

“Probably.”

“But he can’t take me back?”

“I won’t let him.”

“You’ll have to watch out for Kevin.”

“Don’t trust me?”

“I do…”

“I can’t tell if you doubt me or if you’re just jealous of Kevin, still.” Andrew’s hands were stiff on Neil’s thighs, and it was taking everything in his arsenal to ignore them.

“I do trust you, I’m just scared, too. What the hell am I supposed to do if Riko doesn’t kill me, but goes after everyone around me? Before the game? After the game? Remember Dono?” Neil tried to explain. He could feel Andrew narrowing his eyes at him.

“No one liked Dono, or Seth. And that was their choice to leave- they knew the possibilities. And Riko isn’t the most dangerous person in the world. He’s a spoiled rich boy with a dragon and no concept of what he CANNOT have.” Andrew’s voice didn’t pitch or rise, but Neil could tell he was angry. “He doesn’t keep anyone- he possesses. Owns.”

Neil wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he reached up to run a hand through his hair again. Andrew reached up to stop him- again. This time he didn’t let go of the hand, but he didn’t gently hold it, either. It was a warning- he could tell Neil was feeling anxious. “He does NOT own you.”

“He thinks he does- if I was supposed to be a foster with him, like Kevin and Jean… If he has scrolls to prove it…” Neil swallowed hard.

“Even if he does, he can’t change it now. Kevin severed his contract with the Ravens, and you’re a dragon man of Palmetto. He has no hold on you. Don’t make me keep repeating myself, Nathaniel.” Andrew growled.

“My name is Neil.” 

“Then act like it.”

“Fine.”

“I’m yours- so what are you so damn worried about?” Andrew snapped, letting go of Neil’s hand but not returning his touch to Neil’s thighs. The green tried not to miss it behind those words.

“I just hate fighting- you told me that was what made me able to do it- why can’t I just hate it, but trust you, too? I can be worried and scared and still stand by your side.” Neil growled.

“Without shaking like a leaf?” Andrew asked, frowning down at him. “You’ve been trembling since I brought it up, and you’re not cold anymore.”

“I’m not shaking because I’m scared anymore.” Neil snapped before he could stop himself.

“Anymore?” Andrew’s brows pinched into an angry looking scowl of confusion.

“You’ve been touching me.” Neil wondered, absently, if he would ever learn to close his mouth.

Andrew’s hands snapped away from him and he leaned back, shifting back enough to separate them. Disgruntled, Neil half turned in the saddle now and rolled his eyes at the carefully blank expression that had painted over his face.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you to. You’re just making it hard to concentrate on a life threatening situation- and even if I was trembling, my hands don’t shake when I’ve got a weapon in them. If you’re worried, then just wait and watch. I fought with you once, and I stayed. It wasn’t easy, but this is me, dealing with what’s coming up on us. It’s not easy for me, but I’m yours.” Neil explained as best he could. 

He watched as Andrew watched him, and tracked hazel eyes as they catalogued his every movement. 

“Golden queens, I hate you sometimes.” Andrew finally breathed, looking away. Neil felt himself relax a bit more, lips quirking up as he realized that Andrew wasn’t going to argue with him or deny the confession.

“It’s still a yes for me.” Neil smiled, half leaning forward.

“Turn around,” was all the response he got for that.

“Will you still touch me again?” Neil wondered, clocking the way Andrew’s jaw muscle worked.

“We’re on a damn dragon, Neil. What do you expect me to do to you? Right after having a conversation about a rich idiot out to destroy our home?” 

“We already agreed to defend Palmetto with our lives- not that it’ll mean much if we don’t survive this next game. It’s settled- nothing we can do about it now, right?” Neil still didn’t turn around. He saw the way Andrew’s lips twitched in an attempt at a sneer.

“When you’re not running, you’re damn exhausting to keep.” Andrew’s jaw worked, but he never looked back at Neil. “Turn around. I’ll kiss you when we get home.”

Neil’s whole world stopped, and he knew that he was staring- knew that his reactions must have been confusing for Andrew. But, here they were. Not quite boyfriends-- not weyr-mates-- not really anything, but partners in crime and warriors who had promised to die side-by-side in a war against bigotry and power before the first Thread even fell from the sky. 

But Andrew had said he would kiss Neil.

And that made Neil’s heart pound in his chest in a way he didn’t think it EVER would.

Andrew’s firm fingers on his jaw made him look away, and he shifted in the saddle until he could turn back around. Without being told, he fed the image of the Fox Weyr mineral lakes Yardith, the image more vivid than any other destination ever had been. 

By the time Andrew had tucked the blanket back against the saddle and reached around him again to grip the ridge of bone in front of the saddle, Yardith had verified that he had enough to go Between, and Neil could feel his muscles work beneath them. Yardith beat several times before he let his wings fold and his body tip forward into a lazy spiral. Neil’s breath caught as he felt the world shift, then flicker out from around them and the familiar cold of Between enveloped them once more. He counted his breaths, and grinned to himself when the feeling of Nothingess vanished, replaced by Andrew’s strong arms around him as they reappeared above Palmetto. 

Yardith continued his lazy spiral down, taking his time wheeling around to the perfect spot in front of his favorite lake. Neil wanted to turn in the saddle and immediately lean over to kiss Andrew then and there, but Andrew leaned back and unhooked Neil’s riding straps, all but shoving him down out of the saddle. Grinning, Neil took his cue and hopped down, already tugging off his helmet and gloves. 

Andrew ignored any and every topic that even tangentially related to kissing or even touching Neil as they bathed and oiled the smug looking Yardith.

Neil couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and contented himself with soaking up any and all information Andrew deigned to share with him about the upcoming game and who the suspects for the smuggling and theft were. 

He didn’t dare ask about the kiss he had been promised just yet in case it made the blue change his mind. 

\--Andrew will not change his mind, Neil.-- Yardith’s voice echoed through his mind as he and Andrew finally made their way to the weyr bowl, and Neil nearly tripped on his way into the hall to the changing rooms trying to look back and spot the dragon. Yardith was already winking into Between by the time he could peek around Andrew, though, and the blue rider just froze where he was, glaring. 

“Move.” Andrew eventually growled as he pushed past Neil, carrying Yardith’s saddle and dropping it off in the equipment closet on it’s rack. 

Neil wasn’t sure why that made him grin, but it did, and he was content to wait another half hour as they showered and changed and made their way towards the weyr. It wasn’t until Neil made it to his door that Andrew spoke up, and it made Neil’s heart pound in his chest. 

“Don’t invite me in.” 

It was like Andrew was the one who was hearing thoughts now, and Neil frowned, turning around to look at him. Only when he did was he acutely aware of the absence of anyone else in the hall and the way the glows had been all half turned, dimmed to conserve energy and light the halls in a gentle glow that left it feeling cozy and warm. 

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“You might as well have. I know what I’m doing.”

“Looks to me like you’re stalling.”

“Or being rational. I couldn’t leave you like this at the weyr bowl- or even in the lockers. You have no idea how you look right now.” Andrew growled, and Neil swore it was in Yardith’s voice. He instinctively checked that Tenith was still asleep. 

“What?” Neil couldn't help the way his lips twitched up, and wondered if it was a nervous tick he would have to train out of himself. “What do I look like right now?” he wondered. He almost reached a hand up into his hair, admitting to himself that he was a little nervous until Andrew lazily swatted his hand hack down. 

“Fuckable.” 

The word mercilessly filled the air between them, and Neil swallowed hard against it. 

“Shut up.” Andrew growled when Neil opened his mouth again. Neil’s teeth clicked when he shut it again, and he watched as Andrew’s eyes locked on his lips. “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Neil said immediately, and Andrew’s lips curled in a snarl. 

“You CAN say no.” 

“I don’t want to. I’m saying yes.” 

“I hate you.” Andrew growled, taking a step forward. 

“But you’ll kiss me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yes?”

“Yes. So shut up.” Andrew snapped, and before Neil could even think of another smartass remark, Andrew’s hands had reached up to cup his face. “Keep your hands to yourself.”

Neil pressed his hands against the soft fabric of his night-time tunic, feeling the soft threads press against his outer thighs just as Andrew’s surprisingly soft lips crushed against his own. If Neil had had more than just half a breath in his lungs, he would have probably made some sort of sound. 

A gasp, maybe?

A whimper?

Hours later, when he was still replaying the scene to himself instead of sleeping, he was glad he was already half breathless- he didn’t think he could embarrass himself any more than he already had. 

In the moment, however, Andrew’s strong hands brushed back into his hair, taking firm grips there as his body pressed Neil up against the heavy door and held him there. Despite the blond being shorter than Neil, he was all that was holding the green up at the moment as his legs damn near turned to jelly and his knees shamelessly started to tremble. Neil KNEW he was stronger than that, but having Andrew THERE was breaking every single rule of solid truth Neil possessed. 

“Breathe.” Andrew spoke the word into Neil’s lips, then immediately licked a hot stripe against them that made it an impossible command to follow. As soon as Neil opened his mouth to try, Andrew dove in, hot tongue quickly dominating and leading Neil in an entirely new dance before the green had any hopes of learning the steps. 

In all honesty, Neil knew he was hardly any good. How could he be, when he had hardly even kissed more than a handful of times in his whole life? 

His teeth knocked against Andrew’s when he tried to kiss back, and his breathing was so uneven and ragged that he nearly choked himself before Andrew pulled his face away, an unreadable expression gracing his features. Neil took the chance to hungrily gulp in air, drinking in the vision of Andrew’s spit-slick, reddened lips as dessert. 

“Again?” Andrew asked once Neil caught his breath, and Neil could only nod. “Talk.”

“Yes!” Neil gasped, and even to his own ears, it sounded needy and desperate. Andrew’s eyes flickered all over his face, searching for something before his thumbs reached up and brushed against Neil’s ears. Feeling how cool they were, Neil knew that his ears must have been as red as his hair was quickly turning, and looked away. 

“Again?” Andrew asked him, voice pitched lower as he leaned in, pressing his forehead against Neil’s and tightening his grip in Neil’s hair. 

“Yes,” Neil replied, a bit more evenly this time, fingers shaking where they pressed against his pants. 

Andrew took an impossible step closer, fitting his own body so flush up against Neil’s that the green’s mind went fuzzy at the edges even before their lips met again. “Breathe.”

This time, the kiss was just as hard, but Neil remembered how to take in a deep breath through his nose, cursing himself for the way his whole body shifted against Andrew’s as he did so. Andrew only pressed closer, one leg slipping between Neil’s to steal his hard earned breath yet again. As Andrew’s tongue invaded Neil’s mouth a second time, the blue made deliberate, slow patterns as if to map out every inch of Neil’s tongue and didn’t stop again until Neil shivered against him. 

Neil had no idea how long it was, or how in the WORLD he hadn’t ever had a kiss like that before in all his life, but when Andrew pulled away, he was thankful that the hall was empty and dimly lit. 

There was something sinful about the way Andrew licked his own red, kiss-swollen lips, then drug his sleeve across his chin, still staring Neil down the whole while. 

“Go to bed,” Andrew ordered, and the roughness of it left no room for Neil to refuse. 

It still took a while to remember how to stand up straight and open the door, but Andrew mercilessly watched him the whole time. 

All Neil could think as he made his way over to the ledge where Tenith lay to almost numbly curl up against her side and tug a wing over himself like a blanket was how thankful he was that she was still so deeply asleep that she never even stirred when he did so.


	7. He Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil can't help but savor the memories of that night- can't help but steal a glance here and there when he can- and he can't help but notice the way Andrew is actively making moves to seek him out more and more, too. Will they be able to enjoy their newfound not-relationship or will Neil have to face the truth face to face? Even if he does, what can he do with a too-young green and a heart full of something that shouldn't even exist in the first place?

Neil wasn’t sure how he made it through the next couple of weeks. 

The days were long, sated only by the fact that Andrew came for him every morning, a half smirk just barely visible on his lips as he praised Tenith and all but ignored Neil for entire minutes at a time before turning to him as slowly as he could and giving the green the most agonizingly slow good morning greetings just to piss him off.

And the fact that as he slowly glided above while Kevin and Neil had their morning run, Yardith kept up a stream of lazily playful teases to urge Neil and Tenith to go faster or try harder.

And the fact that at lunch, Andrew came to find him again, even if he didn’t really have the time to share said lunch. At least he walked Neil to the dining commons where Dan, Matt, Renee, Allison, and Kevin were. He and Aaron hardly joined them, but Neil found the curious stares they managed to snatch between themselves well worth the slow moments they had to walk through the weyr together.

Those were almost as much as the kisses Andrew pinned him to the wall with once every so often if Neil added them all together. 

Almost.

What satiated Neil the most was the odd time he could hear Andrew’s ‘yes’ and feel his soft lips crushing down hard onto his own in a blissfully rough kiss that always left his legs feeling weak. The simple fact that Andrew only did it ever so often and more often than not forced Neil to stop and breathe and cool down just when the kissing was getting good only made those rare moments even more special. 

Neil never complained- mostly because he didn’t want to end up being too excited and wake Tenith with his eagerness for physical contact- but he couldn’t help but want more each and every time Andrew commanded him to head inside and go to sleep.

At least by the end of the first week, Neil had gained enough willpower and learned enough of Andrew’s mouth to kiss him back without embarrassing himself. 

Neil dared to let himself look forward to the mornings and slow lectures and practices and after practice practices just so that he could spend his late nights with the minute blue who quite literally stole his breath away with the simplest of touches.

He should have known better.

Those blissfully long days did nothing to save Neil from the cold stripe of fear that painted itself down his spine on the day of the game the following game day when he was jerked unceremoniously early from his before-lunch lecture by the pure, unbidden FURY that shot through his mental link with Tenith.

\--He’s HERE!! He’s looking at ANDREW-- Tenith hissed at him, and Neil was already barreling out of the lecture hall towards the weyr bowl, completely oblivious to the sounds of the Harper in charge of the lecture or the curious gazes of all of the students had been actively avoiding until then.

Before he even got there, he felt the somehow familiar mental voice of a dragon he barely knew.

\--So THIS is Neil, son of Mary, who speaks to dragons?- Came the too-gentle voice, drifting down from the huge bronze standing halfway down the path from the lecture halls to the weyr bowl.

Neil felt his blood run cold as Yamor turned slowly whirling eyes down at him.

“How do, Yamor,” he felt himself all but shaking as he grit out the words. Yamor tilted his head curiously, then slowly- very slowly, started to lean down.

“Touch him and the last thing you’ll know today is the cold of Between, Bronze.” Andrew’s voice was like heaven drifting out from behind Yamor’s bulk, and Neil thought his blood would set on fire from his veins.

“Yamor has a mind of his own sometimes.” The lazy but stiffly cut words dropped from Riko like an accusation and Neil felt something like guilt radiate from Yamor before the bronze gave a slow blink of his inner eyelids and raised his head again.

\--It is good to see you are still alive, Neil, Son of Mary who speaks to dragons-- was all Yamor said after that, and Neil couldn’t spend any more time wondering about why in all of Pern he was so gentle and caring when Riko was… Riko.

\--Yamor is not the problem here, Neil!!-- Tenith hissed, and Neil could hear her still-young spitting hiss come from somewhere near where Andrew’s voice had come from. Desperate to see her, Neil unceremoniously clamored over Yamor’s thick tail and raced to their sides, not even sparing a single glance to Riko.

“Oh good- he’s at least got manners to bow to his betters.” Riko was drawling, and Neil could feel his stare even as he finished his almost impulsive check of Tenith’s hide, standing from where he had dipped down to check under her wing. She had grown so large that she could easily glide nearly a whole quarter mile fully saddled and loaded down with full bags of firestone, and was growing beautifully, but the last thing Neil wanted was for her luminescent green hide to be marred because of some stupid Weyr’s first son of their queen’s Bronze. 

“If that’s what you call a bow, no wonder Kevin left your wing- tradition like that would be wasted on his pedigree.” Neil was snapping in retaliation as he straightened himself from where he had been half bent to check under one of Tenith’s still translucent wings. He had to thank the golden queens that Andrew was still standing on her other side, and Riko hadn’t deigned to move from his position leaning against Yamor. 

He didn’t miss the swath of black leather Riko held draped over one arm- or the tense set of Andrew’s shoulders as he folded his arms. 

\--Why is he HERE-- Tenith hissed again, eyes an angry orangish-red flashing through with silver. Neil found it a little disturbing that she could put so much fury behind a single thought, but he couldn't deny the pride that swelled in his chest nevertheless.

“Kevin WAS certainly trained better than you, that’s for sure… But that’s only because I had so many years to properly groom him. It’s only after he was allowed to leave that he caught on to so many poor habits. Laying down with foxes, and getting up with fleas- that sort of thing.” Riko frowned, still studying Neil and all but ignoring Andrew. It was as if he was waiting for Neil to remember the rules to a game he had played years and years ago.

“Clever of you, Riko. You’ll have to lend me the scroll you read that one from some day.” Neil knew he was digging himself a bigger hole, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t just let Riko swoop in like he owned the place.

“Naturally, Nathaniel. I’ll have a drudge leave a copy in your weyr for you tonight. It’ll be ready for you after your welcome dinner and fist lessons. Something to soothe you to sleep.” Riko smirked, and Neil could feel his blood run cold. 

Riko intended Neil to leave with him tonight. 

Here. 

Now. 

On a game day.

Did that mean he knew Neil was vital to the game? Or was he just some disgruntled rich brat with a possession fetish?

“Oh- no one’s told you? This one is Neil, and he doesn’t belong to you,” Andrew half sang, grin much too wide now, and still stretching. Riko’s cold eyes flickered his way, irritation clear in the set of his jaw.

“You know, I wasn’t sure about that, either- until I had someone do some digging for me after we spoke with the Harpers-”

“Gold forbid you get your own hands dirty.”

“I found what I was looking for.” The clip in Riko’s voice was sharper, more pronounced and clearly declaring his accent for all to hear- if there was anyone other than just the few of them around. “Nathaniel. You’ve been running for much too long. It’s time to come home.”

“His home is here- haven’t you heard? Didn’t you hear? Or don’t you listen to me?” Andrew casually sang back, reaching out to drape an arm over Neil’s shoulders. 

“I don’t need to listen to a half baked blue like you, Andrew. You’re nothing but a thorn in my side, just waiting to be shown exactly where your place in life is.” Riko spat, narrowing his eyes before he took a step forward. 

“Seems to me like if my place was anywhere else, I wouldn’t be here. I’m exactly where I need to be- isn’t it YOU who needs to remember where your place is?” Andrew’s knife was out before he even set his foot down onto the path. “You’re a dragon man, the same as me- maybe a bronze- but then…” As Andrew’s smile grew slowly, Neil could hear the distinct sound of displaced air as Yardith appeared.

He hovered over them, still and ominous. He was smaller than Yamor, but no less lethal, his mouth open in a grin that should never belong on a dragon as he rumbled low in his throat, eyes whirling quickly and ominously as he stared down on the scene. 

Neil knew he should have been afraid, but all he could hear was an echoing --Trust me, or die-- 

“Nathaniel, you were promised to me as a fosterling, and you never served your time. You’ll come with me, and serve it if you know what’s good for you and all of Pern. This little island can’t hold you- and Andrew can’t hold this island.” Riko’s voice tried to cut into him, but with Yardith’s eyes slowly blinking down at him, he was almost unfased.

Almost.

“I really don’t think you know the art of the sell very well, Riko. It’s a good thing you’re not a merchant’s son. I don’t see what I get out of this deal- and anyway, being a fosterling isn’t a sentence. It’s not some sort of indentured servitude. I’m not your drudge.” Neil growled, and heard Tenith’s angry bite rolling off his tongue. He was always so proud of her, but feeling her by his side now made him wonder why he ever thought she was too fragile to stand with him in his time of need. 

“You are MINE, Nathaniel, whether you know it or not. It’s already been decided.” Riko narrowed his eyes, and tossed the black thing in his arms at Neil’s feet. 

The green’s blood ran cold as he noticed that it was a weyrling's riding jacket- HIS riding leathers, no doubt. Only, where the smooth black leather had once been blank under Tenith’s name, a bold, symbolic raven had been burned, and the rivets filled with a bright red. He had been told that a dragon’s leather jacket was supposed to be a representation of who they were. Lots of dragonriders had their life’s story painted or sewn or even burned into their leather jackets, but Neil had yet to have anything done to his. He was still new, after all, and all he had had to his name was Tenith. It had seemed fitting to wear her name proudly at his back- as well as the fox paw over his heart when he zipped up the jacket. 

It had been missing from his locker that morning, but since he and Andrew had spent a long night flying and practically sucking each other’s faces off in the stone arch of his doorway as Tenith slept, Neil had just assumed he had been so kiss-dazed that he lost it somewhere in his blankets. He had been about to spend the lunch hour searching for it with Andrew’s help, hoping for a respite from the prying eyes of everyone in the weyr who knew he was a dragon rider- and on first wing, to boot. 

At the time, he had just been thankful for the chance to forego the bold symbol of his position in the wing.

Now, he felt the guilt gripping his gut for being happy it had been gone. 

Seeing that blank canvas marred by the very image he had been running from his whole life was a nightmare come true. Neil could smell the dyes wafting off of it, and noticed that the brilliant orange trimmings and embellished sewing were now all a deep red, likely still damp. The whole thing looked like it had been soaked in blood. 

He swallowed hard, somehow feeling utterly violated by the sight. He had to force himself to look up, and thought he would be sick, seeing the knowing smirk on Riko’s face.

“You know, I recall you claiming Kevin as yours, too, but look where he ended up. You can’t OWN people, Kevin. Slavery died with the old world. There’s no room for it on Pern. Even the dredges have their freedom. The laws put in place after Fax’s rule ensured that.” Andrew sighed, moving forward and pointedly stepping onto the jacket to cover the raven. Riko only growled.

“Nathaniel.” Riko frowned after a loaded pause in which he stared off with Andrew. “Don’t make me remind you why. I hear the southern isles aren’t nearly as full now that Thred’s falling soon. Those not being kept for severe crimes are left to go home, and try to make their own way, provided they follow the laws of the weyr they’re beholden to. If Palmetto tosses you out because of a sunken ship and its crew, you might find yourself in a similar situation.”

“Don’t threaten him with his father. If he’s not scared of you, why would he be scared of a butcher?” Andrew rolled his eyes. 

Riko didn’t say anything, but his eyes slowly cut over to Tenith, and Neil thought he would faint despite all his bravado.

The bronze rider vaulted onto his dragon in the next moment, and Yamor took a graceful leap up into the air, buffeting dust and debris all over them before suddenly blinking out, into Between and leaving them with nothing more than a cold gust and mouths full of dirt to remember them by.

Only when Andrew moved to stand in front of him did Neil realize that after he spat the dirt out and rubbed his eyes free of sand, he was still just standing there.

“He doesn’t own you.” The blond growled tightly.

“Yea…” Neil couldn’t help but swallow hard as he stared down at the black leather at their feet. 

Andrew growled angrily and tossed it up into the air, savagely pointing until Yardith belched an angry spew of flame at it. 

Neil absently wondered if he had recently eaten firestone or if he had just come from practice and hadn’t regurgitated the residuals. It couldn’t have been comfortable to hold the stones in his throat this whole time. 

“That’s just about all I think he’s worth, Neil.” Andrew snapped, still pointing at the burning strips of leather.

“He knows who… where… Shit.” Neil ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“It’s not over, yet. I have you.” Andrew snapped at him, as if angry Neil was even worried in the first place.

“Yea- I know. You said that before-”

“Do you know, though?”

“Of course I know.”

“Of course my ass. What do you think ‘I have you’ means?”

“It means you’ll die for me, Andrew.” Neil couldn’t help but snap, and Andrew fell silent as Tenith nudged into both of them. “Fuck, Andrew, I don’t want you to die for me.” Neil managed after a long pause, and hated how his voice broke and his chest clenched in the all too familiar panic of being responsible for the death of innocence.

“That’s my choice.” Andrew ground out, hazel eyes boring into Neil even if the green was bowing his head and trying to hide. Neil KNEW Andrew was upset that he still hadn't fully grown to understand the weight of those words, but he didn't know what else to do at this point.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to make it…” Neil sighed as he leaned into Tenith and hid his face. He pointedly ignored the way his lips kept twitching upwards at the edges in the all too familiar tick, or the way his hands still shook as he tried to calm himself down. “I’m fine… Just let me be pissed off for a minute.”

“You’re not leaving?” Andrew asked after an impossibly long moment, voice no longer tight and angry. It wasn't sad or resigned either, though, so Neil knew he wasn't in the green yet.

“I’m not leaving.”

“Okay.”

“Where’s Kevin? If Riko’s here, you should check on him.”

“He’s with Lynth and Dan.”

“You’re not going to make sure he’s okay?” Neil asked, peeking his head up as Yardith rumbled above them, then winked out.

“Yardith is going to be with them and K’holinth. Riko’s not that dumb to go and antagonize a golden queen.” Andrew scoffed.

“You don’t even want to check on him?” Neil wondered, looking over to him.

“I need to make sure you’re okay first.” Andrew was shameless, and offered nothing but a shrug. “You’re prone to running, and I haven’t found your anchor yet.”

“I’m not running.”

“I can see that.”

“I’m not going to. I just didn’t expect him to come and… just… Fuck. Everything I’ve been running from is RIGHT HERE.” Neil turned his face away again.

“What do you need?” 

“I don’t know. Time?”

“We don’t have time- at most we have an hour for lunch. Pick something else.”

“I don’t know anything else.”

“Kisses?” Andrew asked. 

Neil froze.

He could feel Tenith snake her long neck around to glance over at Andrew curiously, and realized this would be the first time she was awake for them having any sort of conversation around their non-relationship so candidly.

“I don’t need you to bribe me with kisses. I’m not staying just so you’ll kiss me.” Neil finally said, and purposefully ignored Tenith’s disappointed rumble.

\--You could still kiss him, even if it wouldn’t make a difference-- She helpfully pointed out. --You LIKE to kiss Andrew--

“Mind your own business, Tenith.” Neil whispered to her.

\--You ARE my business. And his kisses make you feel safe.--

“It’s not the kisses that make it- that make- It’s not the kisses.” Neil hissed, and was thankful Andrew was far enough away that he couldn’t hear everything.

“So is that a yes or no to the kiss?” the blue drawled, crossing his arms. Neil noticed that he had HIS riding leathers on and advently ignored the way his muscles pulling the black and orange fabric tight around his shoulders made Tenith tilt her head interestingly. She was nothing but a traitor. 

“No.” Neil frowned, and pretended not to hear the indignant scoff Tenith gave him, or the way her forepaw shrugged him off, pushing him closer to Andrew. The blond raised an eyebrow as the green nudged and prodded Neil until he was turned around and facing Andrew with nothing between them. Neil tried to push against her, but she was much stronger than him, and bigger than a full grown horse and a half now, not even including her tails and wings. 

It felt like there was no escape, and Andrew gave him an amused smirk that did unspeakable things to Neil’s knees.

He blamed the recent scare from Riko.

“I don’t need your kisses right now, Andrew.” Neil half hissed, as if speaking the words any louder would shatter something delicate between them. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking away as his fingers got to the nape of his neck and he remembered the feel of Andrew’s hands there. 

“Okay. What do you need, then?” Andrew didn’t even spare a moment to accept that, and moved on to what he could do to help. 

That was what Neil liked about him.

“I need to know what to do- how to keep everyone here safe- from Riko, and my father, if he gets out from exile. Riko’s men already took out one dragon and his man. What are we supposed to do if they find out about us and take out more? Children? Queens?” Neil took a deep breath and raised his eyes to meet Andrew’s. “I have no clue how to protect Palmetto. Any other time, the answer would be running- taking the trouble with me. But this is… my home.”

“All you have to do is everything you’ve been doing. Riko’s only making these threats in person now because he knows he can’t make any other play. Think about it- he spent all of his own personal time and effort just to make a scene for you. That means we’ve already cut off any other avenue of access he has. He’s a rich boy who can’t stand doing his own dirty work. I’ve been keeping his spies off you- Dan has been keeping his political plays in check- and Kevin isn’t giving him a second glance, he’s got his head so far stuck in the sand from terror. His only hope was to see if he could scare you enough to put a leash on you.” Andrew explained, voice low and steady.

“But what does me doing what I have been have anything to do with protecting Palmetto from Riko?” Neil frowned. Andrew started to turn and walk down the path, waving at Tenith and Neil to follow him. 

“You weren’t listening to Yamor?” Andrew wondered curiously.

“What? Besides him just being weirdly kind? He didn’t say anything to me.”

“What good is your talent if you don’t even use it?”

“How am I supposed to know to listen in on the dragon of the biggest asshole I've ever met- the son of a literal mafia that owns my own mafia family?”

“You beautiful idiot.”

“Wh-what?” Neil almost tripped over his own two feet, but Andrew never stopped walking. 

“Yardith said he kept chatting about how many golds we have here. Almost enough for a Queen’s Wing. At the Raven’s Roost, they don’t keep many queens- more greens than anything- and very few browns, too. Most likely because they have some ridiculous idea that it’s easier for the Bronzes to subjugate the greens and blues and if they snatch up the golds young enough, then a life with ravens is all they know- with no competition from a more aggressive or larger brown for the gold.” Andrew shrugged as he made a turn, and Neil noticed that they were headed towards the feeding grounds rather than the weyr. Briefly, he felt panic grip his chest as he wondered if it was okay for Tenith to eat from the local herd… but Riko had indicated that his father wasn’t out of jail yet, and Neil KNEW Riko wasn’t dumb enough to have a dragon die by poisoning if he was the last one to have seen it alive, especially not after a confrontation like that.

“Like Aaron?” he wondered curiously instead.

Andrew narrowed his eyes a bit and angled a glance over at Neil. “Aaron could- fly for a queen.” The silence that followed was tense and awkward. “Probably not at this weyr. He would have to establish his own…” 

“He’s a good leader, already. Takes really good care of the weyrlings when he’s in charge of lessons. There would be at least a wing’s full that would follow him and that’s all that’s really needed for a weyr.” Neil pointed out. “If the mainland is willing to relinquish hold of all the islands from here to the coast, there ought to be at least one of those islands big enough for a hold. And there are at least three islands that are practically made of firestone- that’s a decent export, not to mention the likelihood of finding even more ores and precious gems alongside that when you start digging-”

“Let’s do what it takes to save THIS weyr before we talk about my brother and his potential to betray it all.” Andrew finally drawled, turning his attention back towards Tenith, who was playfully gliding down one steep hill, using her wings to guide her along the curve of the path with a delighted squeal. Neil felt his heart race just to see how easily she was doing so, even fully saddled.

“Sounds good. So, you want me to be in a queen’s entourage and help protect her, with Tenith?” Neil suspected, changing the subject back fairly easily.

“Reli. She’s the youngest- and the daughter of a holder. It would be the best catch and give Riko one more in with Palmetto. He would have his own small hold AND Palmetto, and no one could contest him. Not if he married in.” Andrew shrugged.

“I thought the laws after Lord Fax tried to claim multiple holds prevented anyone from doing that. It’s illegal.” he frowned, shaking his head. 

“Dragon law within the weyr states that whoever flies for the First Queen gets claim of the weyr. If he takes Reli and flies her, he will be weyrmaster. And if he marries the daughter of a holder- if her father hasn’t legally taken her from his will yet, which I know for a fact Katelyn’s father hasn’t, and he has a child…”

“Then his kid will be the heir? And unless the kid claims a dragon, they’ll hold all the legal rights to Palmetto… but Katelyn isn’t into Riko. If he takes her, that’ll be rape. If he TRIES to take her or Reli, both Aaron and Ardanth would fight to the death. And might win- Ardanth is as big as K’holinth- if not just a little smaller. And Aaron fights like you when he’s pissed.” Neil bit his bottom lip, thinking hard. “Riko would be better off thinking about some other way to fill his weyr and get himself a queen.”

“He can always just take whatever young green’s available.” Andrew drawled lazily as they made it to the hunting grounds and he could lean against the fence. 

“I guess, he could just snatch all the bystanding greens- but it’s not like greens live in a vacuum. If he tries to take them, their dragons will call their partners. And greens aren’t called amorous for no reason. It would be a war. No dragonman can be forced to go to another weyr.” Neil did remember that much from his lessons.

“Mmm… Unless he takes a willing green and their dragon before they had a chance to chew firestone. A green’s clutch is smaller than a gold’s and doesn't have nearly as many bronzes and golds, but it can fill a weyr. Not to mention, the weyr would be full of dragons Kevin would WANT, thinking they’re easier to force into submission like in the Nest. You could be the second Queen Green, if he had his way.” 

Silence fell between them at Andrew’s casual words and Neil glanced up at him, worry in his eyes as he thought about Tenith. His eyes trailed over to her, and Andrew reached out to place a hand on the back of his head.

“She’s not ready to chew firestone yet. Not for another couple of weeks at least. You can’t force her, or you really WILL stunt her growth. And make it so she can’t ever flame.” Andrew said, as if reading Neil’s mind.

“Then what can I do to protect her? Sounds to me like you’re just coming up with a thousand different ways for Riko to fuck us over, Andrew. There- what- how in the hell can I keep Riko from attacking and keeping my Tenith? Katelyn’s Reli? You told me to fight- that’s fair- but Tenith- Yamor is so much bigger than her!” Neil almost panicked. Andrew’s hand on the back of his neck tightened. 

“I know it’s a lot.” And Andrew actually managed to sound sad about that, even through his ever present half smirk that indicated he was still on Felicity. Even through the entire encounter with Riko, he never seemed to quite be able to wash the manic grin away. “But you have me- and I have all of Palmetto. Riko won’t risk a war- but he’ll try to bully everyone into doing what he wants. All we have to do is what we’ve been doing, and make sure we have our own records. Telgar proper isn’t going to let the Ravens make them look bad. Now, let Tenith get her fill, then we’ll get you fed and to your next class. You share it with Katelyn, don’t you?” 

“Yes… Yeah.” Neil took a deep breath and nodded, admittedly comforted by the hand in his hair. 

“Just protect her and watch over her till the game- and when you get to the game, just do what you’ve been doing and help us win. That’s how you can protect Palmetto. That’s what you’re doing to fight, right now.” Andrew reassured Neil.

And so that was what he did. 

Neil sat beside Katelyn, and listened to her chat about Aaron and half mentally watching as Reli and Tenith played together in their own daytime dragon classes. He handed her off to Aaron afterwards, and didn’t miss the tense, concerned pinch of the other Minyard’s brows when he did so. 

When it was time for the game, Neil strapped Tenith in, and felt the rush of her excitement as they flew over Palmetto and blinked Between to arrive at the rival’s weyr. They flew over that land as well, making a show of their strength before landing and being greeted by all of their fellow weyrmates that could travel dragonback to support them. There were a few non-weyr, and when Yardith rumbled at him playfully, Neil noticed who was approaching the waiting Riko and his little group of black and red leather clad minions. He had to admit, he was ashamed to realize that it was the kind woman who had given him a ride across the water to the weyr when he had first tried to escape Andrew and his dragon’s bane. He ignored Andrew’s teasing in the back of his head as Yardith relayed that at least now they knew it wasn’t the dragonette creche and they could stop by there on the weekend and make sure Neil was properly outfitted instead of having to sneak around here and there.

Instead, Neil concentrated on the game and ignored Riko’s watching eyes. He ignored everything in favor of trying his best to help his weyr win. Overall, it wasn’t so bad- they just barely won- but the thing that really set the night apart was when Riko approached Wymack and Dan. Neither of them sounded rude, but Neil could hear everyone’s dragons involved. Yamor did not seem to care at all- he was concentrating on trying to entwine his neck with K’holinth who seemed to be trying very hard not to enjoy the affection before Ardanth barrelled between them and shoved K’holinth back towards the waiting circle of fox dragons. Lynth and Wy’Rhaun were absolutely livid at the audacity of the tiny human who dared think he deserved access to any one of THEIR hatchlings. Reli was crowded in with the other queens pretty soon, and Neil was just thankful that the harper that WAS there didn’t try to break out in song then and there. He was sure that with more time to think and commit the scene to verse, though, the tale would make its way around Pern pretty soon. 

It probably didn't help that Neil called him out on disturbing the peace, preying on another weyr, trying to coerce a young girl against her will, and trying to steal dragons for a weyr he probably couldn't even keep since he hadn't even been able to keep Kevin and K'holinth despite being ranked so high among all dragonmen in all of Pern. 

All Neil could do after Dan and Renee finally pulled him again from the Harper with his mouth hanging wide was sigh and try his best not to think too hard about what had happened as they all made their way back home.

He failed miserably, and wasn’t at all surprised when Dan asked him to stay after showers for a talk, or when Andrew was the one who was actually waiting for him in the locker room, arm full of clothes for him. 

“How bad is it?” Neil wondered as he finished toweling off. Andrew handed him his undergarments first, silent until they were fully on. 

“Renee found another ship- the one that was supposed to replace the last one we destroyed in the fleet- full to the brim with Shunned women and children. Dan and Wymack had been informed that the ship wasn’t ready to sail yet and would take another month at least to be ready to go.”

“How long would it take that ship to sail around to the coast nearest Telgar? Drop them off and come back?” Neil worried.

“A month or so.” Andrew confirmed and Neil felt himself curse. 

“So what? Now we have to deal with another defect crew? I thought we got them all.” Neil couldn’t help but wonder if the darker robes he was being given now were for another scorched earth mission.

“No. Dan and Lynth already dealt with the crew- and they weren’t from the island.”

“Dan? Is she in on this, too? I mean- this?” Neil swallowed hard as he imagined Dan doing what he and Andrew had done to the smugglers before. It wasn’t hard to.

“Naturally. She’s the Queen. It is rare that she ever has to get her hands dirty like this, though. She didn’t have a choice about sending a message to Riko, though. Apparently, he also came today to take a look at his latest recruits for the weyr and try to sniff out any who might be young golds right off the bat.” Andrew hummed as he offered Neil his pants and long tunic.

“He didn’t get any, did he?” 

“No. He’s lucky he didn’t. Lynth was pissed.” 

“I bet…”

“He left empty-handed, Neil.”

“I know.”

“That probably means he’s going to be livid, and come for you again. Soon.”

“I know.”

There was an awkward silence between them as Andrew watched Neil lace up his boots, and Neil struggled to understand it. He could tell Andrew was upset, but it wasn’t at Neil. He could also tell that Andrew was trying to say something but needed the time to do so- and after spending even more time with him over the last few weeks, Neil could also feel that that was just another contributing factor to Andrew’s anger.

So, he remained silent and waited for Andrew, keeping his eyes cast away from the blue until Andrew moved forward and took a seat on the opposite end of Tenith’s bench.

“Wymack says it’s fine for you to sleep in his apartment again. It’s almost time for you to get your new weyr anyway.”

Neil considered these words, and what they meant. 

Riko was after him- knew who he was and where he was and what he was hiding. Being stupid enough to keep sleeping in the same bed was like asking for Riko to sweep in through Tenith’s ledge and try something. He could wink into existence, do whatever he wanted, and wink out before most dragons would even understand what was going on.

But going back to Wymack’s place meant returning to the same stage he was in before this whole mess started. It might be nice to tuck in under Yardith’s wing again, but Andrew’s stiff posture let Neil know that this wasn’t something he wanted, but deemed necessary- or at least a lesser of evils. Cautiously, Neil glanced up to Andrew’s face and saw an unsmiling mask with a storm of angry hazel blacing behind the eyes.

“Is that my only option?” Neil wondered quietly.

Andrew was silent for a while, but never turned away from Neil, as if he had something to prove.

“Dan seems to think you should sleep over at Abby’s.” 

There was something in those words that didn’t quite add up and Neil nibbled on his bottom lip to try to figure it out. 

Andrew’s thumb was on his chin within moments, tugging it out from between his teeth.

“What do you think?” Neil asked, watching as Andrew watched his lips move. “I feel like a child being fought over in the middle of a custody battle.”

“I think you’re smart enough to be able to choose for yourself.”

“Then what if I choose to sleep in your weyr instead?”

The silence that followed felt like time stood still, though it must not have taken too long, since Andrew only made one slow blink up from Neil’s lips to his eyes before he dropped his hand.

“I take it back. You’re actually just as stupid as I always suspected you would be.”

“Why am I stupid? I need to be away from my weyr, and temporarily move into a weyr where Riko can’t find me and I’ll be safe. Where Tenith will be safe. Doesn’t your weyr fit that description just as much as Wymack’s or Abby’s?”

“No.”

“You wouldn’t ever let anything happen to us.”

“But I would ruin you.”

Andrew’s snappy response came so fast that Neil knew he had it prepared. 

“You wouldn’t.” Neil snapped back, indignant at the way Andrew looked away from him.

“I would.”

“I would stop you before you could.”

“You would try.”

“I would stab you to death before I let you hurt me, Andrew.” Neil was serious and the way Andrew’s shoulders stiffened let him know that at least the blue was taking him seriously as well. 

“Neil-”

“I'm yours.” Neil cut in, carefully leaning forward and placing his palms flat on the bench between them, a leg on either side so that he could look at Andrew full on. “I trust you with my life.”

“You’ll trust me till you die.” Andrew frowned over at him.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? If it’s by your hand, I’ll just pull you to Between with me. You're mine, after all.”

“You really are a fool.”

“I’m smart enough to see the way you hold yourself back. Especially when it comes to anything to do with physical things and other people.” Neil knew that now wasn’t the ideal time to bring this up, especially with Dan waiting for them, but he had no clue when else to bring it up.

“I have my reasons.”

“I know you do. I’m not asking you to tell me what they are.” 

“And you’re not half as ready to have me touch you as you think you are, either.” Andrew snapped back at him.

“So what, me spending a night in your bed means I’m asking you to fuck me?”

“Isn’t it?”

“You know it’s not.”

“You don’t know what.”

“I do. And I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. Even if you think you might.”

“You’re too fucking stupid to be so fucking pretty, Neil.” Andrew sighed, and closed his eyes. Neil watched as the blue’s long lashes rested on his cheeks and admired his beauty close up. It was so rare that he got to, and just knowing that the pinch between Andrew’s eyes was caused because he was trying so hard NOT to hurt Neil when the whole rest of the world seemed hell bent on doing the exact opposite was endearing. “Stop it.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re looking at me like that again. After we JUST talked about how my self control really isn’t enough to deal with someone as stupidly fuckable as yourself. Stop it.”

“You don’t have to say yes.” Neil replied after a moment, relenting and leaning back so that Andrew wouldn’t feel crowded. Hazel eyes snapped open and immediately locked onto Neil’s icy blue ones. “You can say no.”

“Then where would you sleep?” 

“With Wy’Rhaun. I’ll be a little tense, but I can manage.”

“You trust me more than Wymack.” It wasn’t a question but a statement and Neil knew he didn’t have to answer.

“Or I can just pick a bed in the healing hall with Abby. It’s big enough for Tenith to get into the room still, so we can manage.” Neil nodded, and watched as Andrew watched him. “Or I can just find one of the empty weyrs and sleep there. You don’t have to say yes. You can say no.”

“But you still want to sleep with me?” 

“I still want you to be the one who keeps me safe.” Neil corrected him. “I’m yours, Andrew. I’m done running.”

The silence that filled the air between them was heavy, and Andrew was clearly contemplating what to do next. Neil gave him the time he needed, and didn’t dare move until Andrew did. 

“Come on. Dan is waiting. She’ll want to talk about what the smugglers had to say, and Renee will probably need to brief us on what we’ll need to do this weekend.” The blue stood and Neil nodded, rising after him.

“What do you think she’ll say?”

“Renee? Or Dan?”

“Renee. Both.”

“Renee is going to tell us that we need to go onto high alert and start using the buddy system for guards and all security as well as notifying all higher class citizens and weyrfolk so we’re not caught off guard. Tell everyone else that it’s to prepare for Thread and have the dragonettes from the weyr running checks through the skies to keep an eye out for strange activity. Dan is probably going to tell us that only a couple of smugglers were recovered and that only one or two made it back to Riko. She’ll say it was an accident.” Andrew said all of this with the finality of law and Neil nodded again. 

“So she sent a messenger. He’s going to come after us hard.” Neil sighed.

“He’s going to try.” Andrew agreed, but the manic smile that had been gone from his face ever since Neil stepped out of the showers was making it’s slow but steady return to Andrew’s lips and Neil knew that whatever it was that Riko was planning would have to be one hell of a gambit if he had any hope of beating the foxes.


	8. Yes From Us Both

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Andrew struggle to navigate the next step in their relationship as they deal with the next couple of weeks at the weyr. As they cope with a new way to keep Neil safe, Andrew reveals his own fears about being unable to keep Neil safe from yet another monster- himself- and Neil tries his best to reassure the blond that he is NOT leaving. Not for fear of Andrew Minyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS
> 
> and warnings for the chapter ahead!
> 
> There's a few kisses, a little sexual tension. The boys chat about what's really okay and how sometimes words aren't enough. They're exploring the dynamics of their relationship and that's a hard conversation to have. Please be careful as your read this chapter if that makes you uncomfortable.

Neil didn’t want to think about how he had told Riko off and called him out in front of a Harper for the worst crimes on Pern since Lord Fax.

He didn’t want to think about how Riko haad come to Palmetto to oversee the smuggling of women and children on a ship that was supposed to be built for the betterment of Palmetto- much less about the fact that those mothers were mostly Shunned, citizens from holds all over Pern who had committed some atrocious crime so bad that they had to be cast out from all society.

It was so close to the First Fall of this new pass that any Holder who cast out those women and children had to know that they would die. Thread was a heavy paracytic rain that fell from a passing comet over the skies of Pern and as it fell it hatches into writhing, wriggling masses that looked too much like thick ropes of silver silk. It had a voracious appetite and devoured every living organism it encountered within mere seconds. It didn’t matter if that was a plant, an animal, or a child huddling in its mothers arms. There would be nothing left of either, and unless Dragon men flew through the skies, burning up the silvery menace before it had the chance to fall onto the ground and burrow itself deep in search of food and sustenance, there would be nothing left of Pern either.

Neil didn’t want to think about how Riko and his men had no doubt caught those women and children on their way to Palmetto, one of the only places on all of Pern who would take in Shunned despite their crimes and give them shelter and a new start, and had diverted them onto a stolen vessel and intended to reroute them to his own Weyr for whatever terrible existence a Shunned would have to endure just for the sake of being protected. 

He didn’t want to think about how Riko had, while on his little mission to overlook the women and their children as if they were livestock to be inspected for usefulness or productivity, paused for just long enough to let Neil know that he was found out and warn him to either turn himself in to have a similar life or risk bringing suffering to all those he had come to love and care for over the past few months.

All Neil wanted to think about was Andrew’s room.

It was a large room- an apartment suite, really.

Almost as large as Dan’s Queen rooms safe for a smaller kitchen and dragon room, it was decorated in black and gold. Neil had glimpsed the rooms before- in his many weeks at the weyr, he had been steadily adopted into Andrew’s fold and now spent most of his time with the minute blue, his brother, his cousin, and their feisty bronze, Kevin. Most of their time was spent in the common area that was just past a door at the end of Andrew’s hall, a large interior room that had similar doorways that attached to Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin’s rooms as well. Usually, they all entered through Kevin’s rooms because Kevin loved to gather everyone together and review flight patterns or formations or drills and always pulled out a favorite scroll or record book on his way to the common area and the large wall of books and scrolls within. There, he would often use one of the black painted scroll walls to draw on with chalk and lecture them until they got bored and Nicky and Aaron started to play some instrument or other that was always left scattered across the blankets and pillows on the center large cushions that made up most of the common area’s floor. From then on, it was mostly just Kevin chattering to himself about Exy while the rest of them fooled around with music or listened to Nicky gossip.

It wouldn’t take long for Kevin to want to go out and train with his dragon and Andrew would either ignore him and call Neil off for their late night kissing sessions or drag Neil with them for some late night practice. 

Neil thought that he could spend a bit of time thinking about THOSE trivial times, but for some reason, he was stuck on the fact that Andrew had decorated his room in black and gold.

The room was tidy- thanks to the head woman’s son, Damien, who they found taking a nap on the couch in the middle of the room. Neil was shocked that the child was napping in Andrew’s room of all places, but when he saw how gently the blond patted the little one’s back and how carefully Andrew lilted his voice to wake him, Neil knew that the hard working young man probably recognized this place as a rare safehaven in the weyr. The boy even shamelessly cuddled with a stiff Andrew for a few moments before the blond gently helped him to his feet and reminded him that he still had chores to do before he could go for his bath and get into bed just to do it all again the next day.

Neil happily let himself think about how Andrew pointedly ignored him while helping the boy wake with a cup of water and a few slices of fruit as a snack before Damien was even awake enough to recognize that Neil was lingering nearby. A few moments of excited chatter about the outcome of the game was all the boy needed to fully wake, and Neil knew he would never forget the way Damien gave the usually touch averse Andrew a happy little hug before gathering his cleaning supplies and dashing off to finish work.

Those thoughts left Neil’s mind with a happy buzz as it carefully did NOT linger on the idea of domestic life with a gentle Andrew and children as he looked over the rest of the room. Damien had left it nice and tidy- obviously only settling down for his quick nap AFTER he had properly done his job. In retrospect, Andrew probably allowed the boy to nap knowing that he would be back in time to wake him in time to complete his chores after the game, and Neil wondered how many times Andrew had helped the child.

Andrew’s room wasn’t gaudy or flashy, but came off as elegant and somehow otherworldly as he watched Yardith shift behind his golden gossamer curtains, making room for Tenith who happily curled up under his open wing with plenty of room to spare. He thought the contrast of green and blue against gold and black would be ugly, but they both visually blended into a bejeweled sea green and all he could think about was how right it seemed. 

Absently, Neil wondered if Tenith was so comfortable there for the same reasons why Damien was so comfortable napping on the couch. 

In truth, he had no idea what sort of relationship his beautiful Tenith had with Yardith- since she was still just a child and he was so ridiculously head over heels for Andrew but she was much too young to fly with his Yardith- but the blue dragon hadn’t ever looked at the young green with anything but pure affection since the first day they met, so Neil supposed he couldn’t assign human morality to the creatures, and even if he did, there were always notable exceptions like Andrew with young Damien.

Neil let his mind meander away from those stray thoughts as well, knowing that though he was always wary, they were both in a safe place right now. Tenith was as safe with Yardith now as she would have been under Lynth’s wing. 

Letting his thoughts wonder again, the green rider let the scent of newly oiled dragons wash over him with a familiar spiciness as he took a few more steps into the room. He was aware of Andrew in the kitchenette area, filling some vessel and opening the cold box, but it wasn’t a concern. Oddly, Neil felt comfortable, even with his back to Andrew and all the weight of the day held invisibly over his shoulders. 

For now, Neil only explored his new surroundings, going to the large window at the other side of the room and staring out past the thick window sill to the starry sky above. He remembered his first day in the weyr and how he had gripped the sill in the weyrleader’s room for support as he found out that Andrew and his family already knew he had secrets to run from. Now, here he was with his secrets all caught up to him and exposed and Andrew had invited him home.

“Stop blushing over your own stupid thoughts,” came Andrew’s quiet voice from somewhere behind him and Neil turned to see the blue laying out a tray of sliced fruits, sliced breads, and a couple of cuts of meat. 

“Shut up,” Andrew grumbled a moment later, though he never looked up.

“I didn’t say anything,” Neil protested, moving over to the low couch and taking the cup of wine Andrew handed him as he got himself comfortable in the pillows and blankets. Andrew only stood there, frowning down at the platter he had just laid out, somehow dissatisfied with it. 

“You’re staring.”

“I can stare.”

“You really shouldn’t though.”

“Why not? You’re mine.”

Neil watched as Andrew turned and moved back to the kitchen area, silent and stiff… but Neil could tell that the blue wasn’t upset with him. There was something else that was making Andrew tense where Neil was feeling right at home- more comfortable here than he was even in his own weyrling’s dorm.

“You’re spending the night here, instead of with Dan or Wymack or Abby.” Andrew finally said, and Neil watched him close the cold box without having taken anything out.

“You said I could.” Neil shrugged, and didn’t blink as Andrew turned back around to glare at him.

“You’re a fool for actually taking my offer.” 

Neil took a sip from his cup- he usually didn’t drink wine, and hated to be drunk, but he had seen Andrew scramble around for something else to drink for a while before hearing him peeling and squeezing fruits to sweeten and dilute the beverage before he came over with the offering. Andrew was trying his best to make Neil comfortable, and while Neil wasn’t the BEST at this sort of thing, he could tell Andrew was nervous and insecure about his own grasp on the situation. 

They could kiss for hours in a dimly lit archway late at night, but sitting down to an intimate dinner with just the two of them was nerve wracking. 

“Truth?” Neil finally asked after a long while, knowing that Andrew was waiting for him to say something and wouldn’t make a move until he did.

“... Yes.” Andrew nearly bit the word out, but Neil accepted it.

“I’m not leaving.” Neil said as if it was some secret between just the two of them, watching Andrew grip the counter.

“You don’t have to.” Andrew bit the words out, and Neil felt his heart skip a beat. “There’s nothing to run from here.”

Suddenly, Neil thought he understood.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Andrew sounded angry, but he wasn’t meeting Neil’s eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I never thought you would.” The silence that filled the air between them made Neil’s hair stand on end.

“Andrew.” He called, and waited for the blond to look up. “I’m not running away from my problems with Riko- or from you. I came here because I think this is the safest place in the whole damn weyr- with you and Yardith watching over me and Tenith. And I knew that I could come here tonight and you wouldn’t hurt me. You’re a asshole in the sky and you never have mercy when we’re training, but you never hurt me when I trust you.”

Neil though he heard a strained sound from Andrew, but the blond didn’t look like he was moving. He waited to make sure that Andrew wasn’t going to say anything before he leaned back into the cushions again. 

“Does this have to do with the reason why you have to go up and check what’s yours sometimes at night?” Andrew’s silence told him that he was close but not quite at his mark. Neil took a moment to think and sipped his wine again. “You don’t have to tell me… but… is there some kind of way you can prove to yourself that you won’t hurt me?”

“You can leave.” Andrew pointed out easily, and Neil frowned.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, shifting to put his cup down.

“Would that make you feel safer?” Andrew asked instead of answering.

“I feel safe right here,” Neil shot back, then stubbornly pointed to Andrew, indignant at the fact that Andrew was questioning him. “There.”

Andrew’s hand snapped up and Neil felt some measure of satisfaction that the blond touched the hand to his chest, as if feeling the jab. “You have no idea what I’m capable of,” Andrew shot back as soon as he was aware of what he had done, eyes narrowing. “You’re big and bad and dangerous and you can stand up to Riko, but you’re willing to let yourself get trapped in here with me, looking the way you do a-”

“Fuckable?” Neil cut in and watched Andrew bite down on his own tongue. 

“Neil,” Andrew warned, but the redhead just took another sip of wine.

“I already told you no, and you’ll only fuck me if I give you a yes- and only a ‘yes’ in the right way, too. No matter how much you growl and bark, you’ll never hurt me like that. You make sure of it.” Neil shrugged.

“Neil,” Andrew tried again, voice quieter, but just as weary. 

“You told me no, too.” 

This made Andrew freeze again, and Neil watched him curiously.

“I won’t hurt you, either, Andrew.” Neil finally promised, catching Andrew’s gaze and keeping it, watching as something that had been broken long before Neil game along struggled to realign itself. “I won’t do anything until you tell me yes, too. It has to be both of us- or nothing.”

They were both silent for a long time- maybe even more than an hour, but Neil would have waited for hours more if that was how long it took for Andrew to finally relax enough to move from the kitchenette to the couch, cup of wine refilled twice over.

By the time Andrew did make it over, Neil’s side of the platter was nearly empty and Tenith was already well asleep. 

“Did you ever figure out who the middle man was that was informing Riko?” he asked, knowing he was changing the subject but shamelessly committing to it when Andrew gave him a scathing glare.

“It was the boatman from the mainland and his cousin, the captain of the fishing fleet.” Andrew acquiesced to the topic eventually, causing Neil to raise his brows.

“Who found that out? I didn’t think there would be two…” Though Neil did remember how he had hitched a ride with a boat from the mainland on his very first outing with Andrew and his monsters to celebrate their first win.

“Renee.” Andrew watched Neil and rolled his eyes after a moment. “Reign in your jealousy, Neil. She’s the gold’s green. Of course she’d be working with me.”

“I’m not jealous.” Neil frowned.

“Everybody can tell you’re jealous of Renee- and Kevin. But Kevin is a cowardly bronze in need of a good queen and Renee isn’t for me.” Andrew took a bite of the sandwich he had made for himself.

“Change the subject,” Neil demanded tactfully, eyes narrowed. “What does this mean for the fishing fleet? Fish is how we feed most of Palmetto and it’s one of our biggest exports- taking out the boatman will probably spell some bad relations with the mainland trading, too, right?”

“Not necessarily. Katelyn’s father has a brother that was fostered on the mainland in a nearby hold. He knows a trustworthy second son of one of the traders and the Harpers are working on installing him as dockmaster. He’s got a good following and while his men aren’t the most trustworthy for all of Pern, they are loyal, and work well with Palmetto. It’s loyalty we need with Thread falling so soon, so we’ll take what we can get.” Andrew explained as he finished his bite. Neil nodded.

“Anybody in mind to take over the fishing? How’s the second?” Neil wondered, having a vague knowledge of the hierarchy of seaside communities from a few years traveling around the coasts and thoroughly ignoring the involvement of Harpers. He understood their necessity but couldn’t bring himself to love them.

“The second is fine.” Andrew shrugged, and Neil figured that meant he was insignificant enough of a threat that Andrew trusted him to handle whatever problems in the fleet would be quietly handled amongst themselves without the dragonmen having to intervene. 

“Alright,” Neil nodded, taking a bite of a juicy redfruit and wondering which southern island it came from. “I brought up the idea of a Queen’s wing to Dan while we were flying back today.” 

Another change in subject came in stride. Andrew nodded, as if he expected it. 

“She said Kevin’ll be excited about that.”

“Expect him to start tomorrow.”

“That’ll mean more golds at training.”

“It’ll mean Reli and Tenith will be showing them how to cover ground crew, first aid, and the basics of stretching first, all in formation. I’m not concerned with that.”

“Do you think he’ll make us stay after and practice more?”

“I think he’ll try and Dan won’t let him.”

“We have another game in two weeks.”

“Tenith will probably be ready to go Between by then.” 

Silence filled the room yet again that night, and Neil studied the fruit in his hands as he contemplated Andrew’s words. 

“Riko will probably find a way to get back at us by then, too.” Andrew didn’t seem to want to give Neil the time to recover from the first blow.

“Get back at me.” Neil frowned. Andrew kicked the bottom of his foot, and he started.

“Fucking idiot. It’s US, PALMETTO. You are mine, as you keep reminding me.” Andrew sounded angry that he had to keep repeating himself and Neil looked away. 

“At least with Tenith ready to go Between, we can fight back.” Neil swallowed hard.

“She’ll be ready to chew firestone, too,” Andrew reminded.

Neil took a deep breath and nodded quietly. 

“I won’t let Riko take you, or Tenith.”

“He’ll take down anyone who tries to stand in his way- he thinks I belong to him.”

“Do you?” Andrew asked coolly.

“No,” Neil looked up, and Andrew was watching him. “Im yours, not his.” 

They were close enough that he saw Andrew’s pupils dilate at his words.

“Do you still think he’ll be able to take you two from us?” Andrew asked, and Neil knew that Yardith was asking the same question. He swallowed hard. “

“You’ll die before you let that happen.”

“YOUR dumb ass would die before YOU let that happen.” Andrew shot back. 

“It doesn’t sound as romantic when you say it.” Neil frowned.

“Because it’s not. It’s dumb.”

“Are we still going to do it?” wondered the redhead, and Andrew watched him for a moment before slowly reaching out. Neil nodded, and the blond gently touched his hair, running warm fingers through it carefully.

“Probably.” He finally admitted, and Neil closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. “Finish eating so we can go to sleep. I want to get enough rest if Kevin’s going to wake us up with a load of bullshit tomorrow.” 

Neil grinned, opening his eyes to see Andrew’s matching manic smirk.

_____________________________________________________

The next day, Neil woke up from the best sleep he had gotten in his whole life. He tried not to think about the fact that he woke up with the feel of Andrew’s hand holding onto his firmly. 

Or the fact that they had ‘accidentally’ fallen asleep on the couch after eating their fill of the evening meal Andrew provided them. 

Andrew had pulled out a guitar and played a bit as they chatted about what the best plans would be for the Queen’s wing and what they COULD do to protect against Riko. As promised, though, they didn’t stay up too long. As soon as Neil’s eyes started to droop, Andrew had set his guitar aside and gathered up some blankets, casually tossing some over Neil as he curled up in his own corner. 

Neil was only vaguely aware of shifting this way and that for a little while before Andrew rolled over to face him and held out his hand. 

He tried to remind himself not to grin like an idiot as he started to get ready for the day- delighted to see that someone had left a basket of clean clothes and toiletries for him just outside of Andrew’s door- but when he saw Damien later on in the dining hall, he had to thank the child for the small bottle of sightroot that had been included in the bundle. 

His good mood wasn’t even tarnished when a racoon-eyed Kevin came to find them moments later, disgruntled and ready to push them into action immediately. 

By the time all the queens were gathered in the center of the weyr bowl, it was hardly an hour past sunrise, but Katelyn and Reli seemed to be in pretty high spirits as well, so they all got to work with efficient relish and didn’t even rankle too much when Kevin started his customary ranting.

In fact, the entire day went by without too much of a glitch. There was an impromptu council meeting of the nearby weyrleaders and Holders to talk about the recent corruption of the trading and fishing fleets, but Neil wasn’t invited or tasked with doing much more than going on a night partole with Andrew later on. 

It was a little strange to meet up with Allison, Renee, and Andrew, but when they broke into teams and started scouting, he was soon much more comfortable. 

Overall, the whole week with like that with the only exception being that Kevin got more and more strict with the queens as the week wore on until Dan eventually shooed him away to allow them time to perfect the drills they had just learned, and towards the very end of the week, Andrew and Neil found a handful of small boats smuggling nearly their limit in raw materials through the mists towards the mainland and had to ‘deal’ with them and return the goods back to the docks. 

Neil had another hard night coping with the deaths, but Andrew stayed with him through it, and when he woke with the sunrise, he felt much better with the feel of Andrew’s hand in his own. 

“So now that you two are on a ‘sleepover’ status, are you finally going to come to a gather together and RELAX for a bit?” Allison asked them halfway through the second week, causing Neil to freeze. He and Andrew weren’t even sitting beside on another and hadn’t even GLANCED at each other since they sat down to eat breakfast that morning! When he glanced up, though, he was shocked to see that Allison was talking to Aaron, who had gone so stiff, he almost looked exactly like his brother. 

Andrew slowly- painfully slowly- turned around to look at his twin, even as Katelyn blushed prettily on Aaron’s other side, already starting to chatter about how they had only spent the night together to study and that they hadn’t done anything indecent and how she would never endanger her gold like that.

Allison only laughed at the chaos and turned to Neil, though. “You too, you pretty little green. Don’t think I haven’t noticed YOU and the OTHER monster,” she grinned shamelessly, causing Nicky to guffaw as Dan and Matt gave them all playful catcalls. 

“Don’t look so damn shocked that someone else knows your secrets, kids. You’re really not that good at keeping it a secret with the way you pretend to hate each other,” Allison pointed between Neil and Andrew. “And the way you two pretend to ignore each other.” She pointed to Aaron and Katelyn. 

Neil could feel himself blushing and glanced over at Andrew, who was still looking at Aaron. Aaron, in turn, was ignoring him and everyone else, it seemed.

Neil could feel the tension- remembered all of the previous conversations about Andrew and his fear of being abandoned- how everyone he loved always ended up leaving him and how Aaron was probably strong enough to fly a queen and start his own weyr. 

Kevin, clearly upset, started to hone in on Aaron and Katelyn about endangering a queen too soon, and Andrew took the chance to stand. Neil stood to follow him, and ignored the way he was glared at by both twins.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Andrew was frowning as he stared out at the small clearing below the Fox Rocks, tapping out the ashes from his third pipe bolus onto the rocks beside him. Neil frowned over at him, and considered pushing the topic. He knew he shouldn’t, but really wanted to know more about the twins and why it wasn’t okay for Aaron to be with Katelyn- he didn’t seem like the type to rush things and Katelyn seemed fine, for a girl. 

In fact, she was the exact type of girl his mother always warned him against. The type to want a slow romance, marriage and a home- children and land and a future. Dragons couldn’t own land, but she was a queen and would as much as own her weyr if she decided to break away from Palmetto. And Aaron was strong- there was no way he wouldn’t be able to keep the land they claimed under their wing. 

Not to mention, if Aaron did go off, it was a sure guarantee that they would land somewhere between Palmetto and the mainland. It would only HELP Palmetto for another weyr to crop up, so they could concentrate on the islands farther out and patrol the waters and borders. 

Pern would benefit… 

But, Andrew didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Then, will you go to the gather with me?” Neil wondered, purposely keeping his eyes on the foxes below. Andrew snapped his gaze up, though, and Neil could feel it.

“Really? Right now, you want to flirt with me?” the blond growled.

“Is there some better time to do it?” wondered the redhead, ignoring the coppery strands that fell into his eyes and glinted in the sun as it peeked from behind the clouds. He hadn’t been dying it recently, since he mostly took showers with Andrew and the blond always snatched the dye away whenever he reached for it. Neil knew he needed a haircut, too, but could never trust anyone to do it for him. He was lucky, he admitted absently to himself, that riding with a helmet on so often had the benefit of curling the strands back and out of his face on the usual occasion. 

“Do you really want to go to a gather with me, directly after a game, and announce to the world that Nathaniel, son of the Master Butcher, is in Palmetto, a green shaking his ass for some wild and crazy blue?” Andrew sneered. Neil only offered him a lazy shrug.

“But I’m not Nathaniel anymore, and Riko’s already the one who I’m most afraid of finding out. He already knows. So why NOT let the world know that Neil, son of Mary who speaks with Dragons, is in Palmetto and the new rider of green Tenith? Partner of Andrew, rider of Blue Yamor?” Neil wondered as if it was inconsequential. 

“You are exhausting, Neil.” Andrew sighed, shaking his head.

“Does that mean you’ll go with me to the gather?”

“Are you doing this just so you don’t have to go to the gather dancehall with us on the mainland?” 

“Maybe- will you be drunk and high either way?”

“I’ll have to be, if I’m flying in the game that day.”

“Then my answer is no. I just want to go with you.”

“You don’t dance.”

“I will if you hold my hand.”

“Why do you only chase me when I try to put some distance between us?” Andrew wondered, eyes narrowed now.

“I thought you liked that about me- it’s how you know I still like you.”

“Be serious for once.” Andrew frowned, and stood up. Neil remained seated and leaned back to let his elbows support his upper body.

“I am being serious.” Neil admitted, watching as Andrew moved closer to stand over him and block out the sun. “When you’re nervous or scared- upset- it makes me want to protect you. It’s not like I can hug you or kiss you to make it better- that would just earn me a fat lip.” 

Andrew stared down at him, and Neil tilted his head back to return the favor. 

“You irk me, Neil Josten.”

“You like it, though.”

Andrew frowned, but Neil grinned in triumph when he circled around and moved closer. 

“Yes or no?” the blond asked, kneeling beside the redhead. 

Neil still hadn’t moved from his half lounging position and smiled easily up at Andrew, curious to see what he wanted to do.

“Yes.” 

He wasn’t really expecting Andrew to lean over and straddle him in broad daylight, but they were all alone up on the highest point on the island and not even dragons were flying overhead to spot them. He relaxed as Andrew leaned forward, and let the shiver overtake him as Andrew ran his hands up and over his body until his arms were pinned above his head.

“Still yes?” Andrew asked, and Neil nodded, still curious. “Say it.”

“Yes.”

Andrew shifted his position, working his legs until he could straddle Neil just right, his hips positioned just below Neil’s so that when he leaned forward next time, their crotches were pinned together and the potential friction between them would quickly rise into something too warm to be called safe if they did anything more than just hold still. 

Instinctively, Neil checked to see what Tenith was doing and found her in her day classes with the children, happily playing with Reli and the children. 

When he blinked his vision clear, he couldn’t help but blush as he noticed Andrew still watching him.

“Is this still okay?” the blond wondered after a moment spent flexing his fingers into a more comfortable position.

“Yes.”

The blond leaned forward so that he was resting all of his weight between his hips and his elbows, the rest of his body flush against Neil and sending his mind into a dangerous spiral he wasn’t sure how to contend with. They had done this before- but before they had always been standing in a doorway, leaning against a wall, secreted away with the aide of dim glows and the late hour. 

This time they were laying out in the mid day sun for all of Pern to see, and Andrew was being SO careful with him.

“This? Is it still a yes?” 

“Yes.” Neil could hear the fever in his own voice and swallowed hard as Andrew glanced down between them, obviously feeling Neil’s crotch respond as well. The expression in Andrew’s hazel eyes when he glanced back up was quiet, but not judgemental. Curious and cautious- patient as if he still wanted to try something new with Neil.

This wasn’t something new, but it FELT new, and they had just been having a conversation about the strange exchanges of power in their weird relationship dynamic. Neil hadn’t yet gotten his solid footing and could tell that Andrew was trying to find his own equilibrium as well.

“Does this make you want to run away?” he finally asked, body impossibly still as if he was scared to move and scare Neil away. He was reminded of the first night he spent with Andrew last week, and how the blond was scared to do something to make him feel unsafe.

“No,” Neil said honestly. “Makes me want to hold your hands.” Andrew’s fingers twitched around his wrists, and he glanced up. “Kiss you.”

The blond glanced back down at him now, and narrowed his eyes for a moment before he shifted until he could interlock his fingers with Neil’s. He was still holding Neil’s hands above his head, but he had granted at least one of his wishes. 

“You can.” 

“Is that a yes?” Neil wondered, eager for a kiss in this new horizontal position but not willing to take it for granted or move too fast. 

“Yes.”

Andrew stared down at Neil and waited, but he didn’t have to wait too long. Neil carefully raised his head and pressed his lips to Andrew’s. 

He had to admit, when he first started kissing Andrew weeks ago, he wasn’t so great at it. Neil still wasn’t the best, but he had learned what Andrew liked, at least, and could tell the right pressure, angle, and how much tongue Andrew wanted from him from just the tiniest of hints. 

Within moments, he was more than thankful he was already laying on the ground and had all of these new tools at his disposal. Sure, he was the one who had initiated the kiss, but Andrew was always the one to take the lead. Today, it seemed, Andrew wanted to kiss Neil hard and deep, and it didn’t take long for the redhead to forget about everything else in the world but the taste of the pipe Andrew had just been smoking moments before.

“Breathe.” Andrew demanded much too soon for Neil’s liking, but he had to admit that it was timely as he gasped in a deep lungfull of air, his hear pounding in his ears as he stared dazedly up at Andrew. “Why do you always forget to breathe when I kiss you?” 

“I forget how to THINK when you kiss me, Andrew.” Neil admitted before his mind could stop his mouth from moving. 

“Idiot,” Andrew hummed, though he did lean forward and kiss Neil’s cheek. 

That was new. 

Much more tender than Neil had ever expected from Andrew, and with lips that were just as soft on his cheek as they had been against his lips. A hard shiver raced up Neil’s spine when Andrew kissed his ear then, and the blond froze above him.

“It! Just-” Neil felt like an idiot as he turned his face away, knowing full well that he knew how to speak the common tongue! 

“Are your ears sensitive?” Andrew wondered, voice quiet and carefully clear of all inflections. “You have a scar here.” 

“Just sensitive.” Neil was thankful that he had the time to say that before Andrew leaned back to watch his face again. 

“... Does this make you want to run away?” he asked again.

“No,” Neil shook his head, and had to swallow hard to clear the strain from his voice. “No, I just don’t often have the chance to have some handsome blue kissing me on the ears.”

Andrew seemed to accept that, and leaned in again, pausing only long enough to reach forward, one hand under Neil’s chin to turn it. “Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Neil managed, and tilted his chin to the side to allow Andrew the access he wanted. The blond leaned in again, this time kissing a slow but steady trail from the side of his mouth down to his ear. Goosebumps rose on Neil’s skin, but the same hot stripe of ecstatic thrill raced up his spine when Andrew licked along the curve of his ear. 

Neil couldn’t help the way one of his knees gave an involuntary jerk, and cursed himself when Andrew froze again. “It’s still yes,” he rushed on, and was just moments from reaching for Andrew before the blond’s free hand snapped up again to pin him back into place. 

“Then don’t forget to breathe.” Andrew demanded, hot breath against Neil’s ear causing his toes to curl as he squeezed his eyes shut. “If you stop breathing, I’ll stop kissing you.” 

Neil knew it was a promise, not a threat, and forced himself to take a deep lungful. It came out as an unfamiliar sound when Andrew trailed his tongue down Neil’s neck, though, and the next intake of breath was sharp and much too short when Andrew began to suckle where he had stopped just below Neil’s collar. 

Somehow, Neil pulled in another full breath before he felt Andrew’s tongue on him again, but Andrew paused again much too soon for his liking. “I was breathing!” Neil protested, and earned a sharp nibble to his ear in return, causing him to jerk. 

“Poorly. If your ears and neck are really this sensitive, your scars must have been hell.” Andrew pointed out. Neil chose to ignore it, and instead turned his face to him.

“Are you going to kiss me again or not?” 

“You want me to,” Andrew seemed to want to study Neil, but he wasn’t in the mood.

“Why are you teasing me like this?” Neil snapped back at him, knowing his whole face was flushed. “Isn’t it a yes from you, too?”

“Yes, but I can’t figure you out yet.” Andrew admitted. 

“What? Why…?” Neil let out a frustrated huff and leaned his head back against the soft grass, closing his eyes tight and squeezing Andrew’s fingers where he was still being held. “Are you trying to figure out WHAT I like or if I actually DO like this?”

“Maybe it’s both. At the beginning of last week, you didn’t know if you wanted to look at me or not- earlier this week you rode with me to kill a dozen men. Today you asked me to dance and said you can’t think when I kiss you.” Andrew leaned back up onto his elbows so that he could watch Neil again, and Neil opened his eyes, knowing that Andrew would be staring into muddy brown lined with sightroot. “I can’t tell if that means you like this, or if you’ll stay with me.”

Neil swallowed hard, knowing he was being called out on his flighty nature again and that Andrew must have been feeling insecure after seeing how close Aaron was with Katelyn.

“I’ll stay with you,” Neil promised, cheeks still burning and heart still racing from their proximity. “You don’t have to test me like this to see which one it is.”

Andrew remained silent, and Neil gave his fingers another squeeze.

“We can stop, if it’s not really a yes from you. Don’t do this if you don’t want to- I’ll stay even without it.”

“But do you want it?” Andrew didn’t look like he was willing to move, and Neil frowned up at him.

“Not if you don’t really want it. I don’t care what you SAY, I need you to mean it just as much as you need me to.” Now, Neil watched as Andrew’s cheeks darkened slightly, the tips of his ears going that rare dusky red. “This- this is what I was talking about before. When I see you like THIS I want to protect you. Hold you and kiss you and do SOMETHING to make you know that I’ll do whatever it takes to make YOU feel just as safe as you’re trying to make me, too. But I can’t hold you and kiss you- and that’s fine! But dammit, I don’t know what else to do but try to do the same thing you try to do for me. I have no idea if it helps, though…” Neil could tell he was rambling, and wondered if the twitch in Andrew’s jaw was a bad sign or a good one.

“It’s still a yes from me,” was the answer that Andrew gave him, and Neil waited for him to keep going. “I needed to make sure it was really a yes from you, too. You’re not entirely clear all the time, dumbass.”

“I was SAYING ‘yes’, and it felt good!” Neil protested. 

“You felt stiff.” 

“Because it was good- what else do you want me to do with my body? I didn’t think you would want me to- move,” Now, Neil had to look away, mind firing off far too many mental images of Andrew rising and falling above him as he rocked his hips. That was dangerous. 

“...” Now, it was Andrew’s turn to stare down at him, ears still that hot red that Neil couldn’t decipher. “I like seeing you like this too much- I couldn’t tell if you really liked it or if I just liked seeing you squirm. You’re too fuckable, Neil Josten.”

“Should I apologize for that?” Neil didn’t know what else to do but quip back, and Andrew narrowed his eyes.

“No, but you should be careful. I don’t want to hurt you- but your pleasure looks just like your pain to me.” Andrew explained, and Neil bit his bottom lip at the knowledge that Andrew liked seeing him in pleasure AND pain just as much. That WAS dangerous… but Andrew was a careful person, and he was vigilantly careful with Neil.

“You won’t hurt me.”

Andrew looked like he was about ready to move away when he heard that, and Neil tightened his fingers’ grip.

“And if you do, I’ll let you know before it gets too bad. If you don’t stop, I’ll stop you myself.”

“How, if you can’t think when I kiss you?” Andrew asked, and Neil thought he understood now. 

“That’s why you stop and make me tell you yes. If I stop saying yes, then it’s no longer good. But right now? It’s yes. Still. The kisses- my ear and neck.” Neil swallowed hard. 

Andrew watched him for a moment more, but then ground down with his hips, expression unmoving as Neil felt a quiet moan break free from his own mouth, head tilted back as he felt every hair on his body stand on end. 

“What about that? Too much?” the blond wondered, watching Neil look everywhere else but at him.

“I-No. It’s not too much- I just…” Neil struggled, and Andrew frowned down at him. “It’s not too much.” Neil would not move on that topic. “But I want to wait. For Tenith. And-”

“You don’t have to give me a reason. Just that you want to wait is fine.” Andrew nodded, shifting just enough so that he could pull his knees under himself and shift until his hips were no longer in a position to grind up against Neil’s. 

Neil was frustrated- he wanted more than anything for Andrew to return the heat and friction and kiss his lips and lick his ears and neck like he had been doing until- well- UNTIL.

But the fact that Andrew was more than willing to wait even after all of this was more than enough for him, too. If anything, it made the gentle kiss to his cheek after even more meaningful. 

“Is it still okay to continue?”

“Only if it’s okay with you, first.” 

“It is.” Andrew studied Neil again, and it was agony, until he spoke again. “I want to kiss your neck again, too.”

“Okay,” Neil shrugged, as if it was something inconsequential, but he could feel Andrew’s fingers twitch in his own grasp. 

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much. We don’t have to stop if you don’t want to, but I’ll give you a chance to- think.” 

“Gee, thanks. When you put it like that, it sounds perfect,” Neil quipped sarcastically, only to thrill when Andrew leaned in and pressed warm lips to his ear.

“Tell me, yes or no,” he demanded, and Neil was immediately thankful for the fact that Andrew’s hips were no longer pressed up against his own anymore. 

“Yes,” Neil breathed out, hardly finishing the word before Andrew’s lips were on his again and he completely forgot about his afternoon lectures, only thankful that Tenith and Reli had their own playtime that would last for several more hours yet.


End file.
